Full-loafing, half-loafing and Ruska's alter ego...

Hello humans!

Lately Ruska talks a lot about cat school.
She went to cat school before she came to live with us. Also before she was pregnant and a Mommy. I don't believe cat school exists and neither does Mommy, but Ruska insists.
She says all outdoor cats that don't have human parents go to cat school. And later on they can teach it to little cats that were luckier in life and had human parents from birth on.

Ruska's favorite subject in cat school was loafing.
She is very good at loafing, I have to say. I envy her a bit.
She taught me how to do a full-loaf. You need to tuck all legs and paws neatly under your belly. Then you wrap your tail around your side, very closely. Then you look like a loaf.
I can only do a full-loaf. Ruska can also do half-loafs. Half-loafs are divided into front-loafs, back-loafs and side-loafs. Side-loafs are divided into right-side-loafs and left-side-loafs.
Theoretically they are easy. You tuck only two legs under your belly. Either both front paws, or both back paws, or both left paws or both right paws.
Ruska can do all the loafs very well. Front loafing is her specialty.

Ruska also has an alter ego.
We found out about that just lately.
Her alter ego is called Seppo and he is the opposite of her. He's very athletic, does not like beefsteak and is a big fan of the vacuum cleaner.
Ruska doesn't like him.
I told Mommy and Daddy that it was Seppo who peed on the floor, not me.
It is also probably Seppo who scratches the wallpaper of the walls and plays with his own poop all over the place. That's not us, no.
Mommy didn't believe me.
Bummer.

It's my birthday soon, by the way.
On Saturday.
You have to buy me presents. I'm turning 2.
Mommy said she found a present which is double-ridiculous. Ridiculous AND ridiculous expensive.
She isn't sure if I can have it yet.
I hope I can.

Byeee!
-Phoebe

p.s. This is me trying a 3/4-loaf. Ruska says it's not a thing. Seppo is impressed.

#Phoebe #cat #black #1/4bengal #hipstercat #meow
#cute #pretty #fun #Monday #catporn #catsofinstagram #instacats #kissa
#katze #pet #fur #sexygirl #cuddly #instapets #petporn

Mommy took it with her Instagram. I don't know what it is. But I know it's a place with many hashtags.
Mommy says petporn sounds wrong and that I am not a sexy girl. Cause I am a cat. That is true, but I saw on Instagram that people lie. They put many wrong hashtags only so more people will click the picture and like it. For example they might post a picture of a tractor and write "#cutebaby". Yes.

The one where Phoebe almost died

Phoebe almost died today. It is true. I am not making this up.

The day started like any day. I wanted some breakfast and I needed to bite Mommy's foot a bit cause I hoped to get it faster. That never works. All I might get is a soft kick in my rear.
Phoebe was sleeping on Mommy's belly in the morning. She never does that. When I asked her why she would do that she said that she heard a song called "If tomorrow never comes." that says that you should show your loved ones that you loved them before it's too late.
Who would have known it was so close to the ultimate disaster? This day I mean?

Mommy and Daddy had bought lots of food for us and then they made food and I got some ham from Daddy when Mommy didn't look, even though it's very bad and everything seemed normal.
Mommy and Daddy watched a movie.
Then Mommy went to call grandpa.
This is when it happened.
Daddy, Phoebe and me were in the sofaroom. Phoebe was playing with a bug, but suddenly she ran away from it and said "ouchie ouchie". She never did that before. It's weird.
Daddy looked at her and at the window and at her and then he grabbed her and screamed to Mommy to get tweezers cause Phoebe was stung by a bee.
WHAT IS A BEE? IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE!!!!!!

Mommy put the phone with grandpa in it aside and helped holding Phoebe down. After she explained to grandpa what had just happened and after Daddy screamed at her to effing help her already.
Phoebe was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if it was because of the bee-thing or because she was held. She really doesn't like being held.

Then they let her go when they had managed to pull the stingiethingie out of Phoebe's paw. They said it has poison. OH GOOOOD.

Daddy went back to the sofaroom. Mommy kept talking to grandpa.
Phoebe was sittin in the hallway and was shaking and mumbling things and looked very frightened.
It's the worst thing if you're the older cat. So helpless. I didn't know what to do. How could I have made things better? I carefully licked her fur a little.
Mommy laughed at it. IT WASN'T FUNNY. I thought Phoebe might die.
Mommy googled if Phoebe could die.
She found out that Phoebe could only die if she was very allergic to the sting of the bee, which, as we found out, actually was the sting of a wasp. Mommy and Daddy mixed it up, cause bees lose their stingiethingie after they stung. And the stingiethingie was in Phoebe's paw so it must have been a bee. But it wasn't.
Anymeow - I went to avenge Phoebe when I found out the wasp was still up and running. Daddy tried to catch it in the living room. Daddy screamed and shooed me away when I came to help. Twice.
Pffff.

Phoebe didn't die after all.
Her front right paw is much bigger than before. Even bigger than mine.
It looks funny. She says it itches much but doesn't hurt. She's playing and eating as if nothing had happened.

This is Phoebe's paw 20 minutes after the sting.

4 hours later it is even bigger.
Mommy can't stop laughing.
How mean.
(It really is funny actually.)

-Ruska

Why does nobody love me?

Hello humans!!

It has been almost two weeks again since we posted here. Ruska says it was actually yesterday and the blog was just counting all wrong. Mommy said it had really been two weeks. That is rather shocking. Time goes fast. We have the same problem as after we moved - Mommy keeps looking for works and that's why she needs to be on this machine all the time.
That means we can't write anything.
When Mommy is at work, we don't really know how to get the machine started.

I want some work as well. Mostly cause I wanna have a holiday, just like Daddy.
If you don't work, you can't have a holiday. That is very sad. Holidays seem to be an awesome thing.

Daddy keeps getting visitors as it seems.
Mommy only gets her Mommy, our grandma.
Tomorrow Mommy has a holiday, too, and she will meet grandma.
I like grandma, but grandma doesn't like me. She likes Ruska much more. Everyone likes Ruska much more.
That's not fair. Ruska is chubby and weird and paranoid.
I am slim and athletic and fun and cute. Why does not anyone like me?
When I was still a tiny little cat everyone made "awww" when they saw me.
Now nobody does that anymore.
I think it is probably because Ruska has many colors. Not many cats have many colors.
But many cats are black. I sometimes heard someone say that black cats are boring.
Some even think black cats bring bad luck.
Our brother Mikko is black as well. Nobody dislikes him though. Probably cause there isn't a cat with many colors around him to compare.
I heard when someone doesn't like someone else cause of their color, that is called racism and it's bad.
Maybe I should dye myself.
Like a rainbow.
Then I would look more special than Ruska.

Look how much more cute and special than Ruska I was when I was little.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. That means there will be the TV show with the one girl and many boys that want to be in love with the girl.
There used to be the same with many girls and one boy, but it wasn't so much fun.
Mommy, Ruska and me are always watching it and decide which of the boys we would want to be in love with, if we were that girl in the show.
Ruska votes for Aurelio. Mommy really doesn't like him. Me neither. Mommy says he's fake and his arrogance annoys her. I agree. Ruska loves how calm and slow he does everything he does. Typical for her. She also likes the doctor, but he is sometimes too excited.
I vote for Manuel. Mommy really doesn't like him. Ruska even less. He is always all over the place and Ruska says he would probably give her a heart attack.
Mommy can't decide who she'd want. Either Marvin or Tommy. But probably she will stay with Daddy, I guess.

Lat but not least: some pictures.

Ruska being cute.

Me being artsy.

Ruska doing yoga.

Byeeee humans!

-Phoebe