HELP! THIRST! The water is GONE!

Hello humans....

You need to help me! I think I am going to die.
Mommy and Daddy took all our water bowls away. They want us to dry out!
It all started yesterday, when they brought tons of cat food home and I already thought we were in paradise!

Look how much food they brought!

The odd thing is the box in the back. There is a weird machine in there. Daddy put the weird machine on the floor in the living room. There is water in there and it is moving all the time.
Daddy also took our other two water bowls away from us. I am confused. If we don't drink, we will die.

Mommy and Daddy keep running after us and placing us in front of the weird thing and point at it and sound all excited and squirt water in our faces. They tell us we should drink from it. ARE THEY CRAZY? I mean, we might fall in and die. I don't trust the machine. I really don't. Mommy even gave us dry food for breakfast. We almost never get dry food as Mommy says it is not that good for cats. But she gave us a lot of it this morning and giggled and told Daddy that now we would drink for sure. I promised myself I wasn't gonna fall for it... the problem is, I really like dry food. So I ate some of it and then some more and then still a little more. And I got thirstier and thirstier, I am super thirsty now, BUT OUR WATER BOWLS ARE GONE! Mommy and Daddy want us to die. I am sure of it. They want us to dry right out.

But the craziest thing ever is - earlier I caught Phoebe - DRINKING FROM THE WEIRD THING! She says the water tastes very fresh, because there is a filter in the thing. That can't be right, water is supposed to have cat hair in it. Lots. Also some litter. And maybe a toy or two! Phoebe also says it is much more fun to drink, because it is moving. And she does not have to bend down to drink, as the thing is much higher than our water bowls. That is insane! Everyone here is totally insane.
Mommy is insane! She always giggles when Phoebe drinks from the weird thing. Phoebe drinks a lot more than before, because she says the new thing is so much fun to drink. THAT IS WHY MOMMY GIGGLES! Because Phoebe is going to DIE FROM IT! Soon. SOOOON!

I have to go. I need to find a source of water. Urgently. I am SO thirsty and no water anywhere near! Huah!

-Ruska

THING! I don't trust you, you THING!

Phoebe and the seasonal peeing!

*hits machine with paw*
This... doesn't... wo- oh, see now it works!
I am afraid we need to move our blog soon, because this page refuses to work properly.

Oh...

Hello hoomans!

Yes, indeed, it is me: Ruska! Of course you all remember me, you're my biggest fans after all and Phoebe is just my boring sidekick, right? Nah, I was just kidding of course. Or was I? He... hehe... he.

Anymeow... Phoebe can't write anything at the moment because she is in mourning.
Of course once again she caused her sorrow herself.
You see, Phoebe started the peeing again some weeks ago. Not quite as frequently as before, but still. Nobody really knows why she does that... still. Mommy said that most humans think cats pee places (other than the litter box) when they are sick or sad. Like sad about the home they live in or something. Already last year Mommy and Daddy took Phoebe to the nice lady to have her and her pee checked, but all was fine. So I assumed she must be sad and sat her down for a cat-to-cat talk. After all, you might not know it, I was a cat psychologist once.
Phoebe said she wasn't sad at all. In fact, she insists she is very happy. She likes her food, even though I eat most of it, she likes Mommy and Daddy and her toys and her cuddlybed. The only thing, she said, that could be better is that Mommy and Daddy should get 20 more cats and 5 dogs for her to play with. I hereby announce that I strongly, I repeat: STRONGLY, disagree with that.
Anymeow... Phoebe said that during the last months she just didn't feel like peeing anymore. Now she does again. Severe case of seasonal peeing, I diagnose. ... OF COURSE THAT'S A THING! I got a proof right here! Phoebe!

The seasonal peeing has gotten Phoebe into her current misery.
Phoebe's favourite place is on the kitchen windowsill. Especially in the evenings when the sun shines there. Mommy has put some comfy blankets there, so Phoebe doesn't need to sleep on the cold stone sill. Occasionally, Phoebe throws the blanket down. Accidentally. As happened last night. So earlier she was sneaking around it and whining for Mommy to lift it back up on the sill. Mommy did - and started to curse and threw the blankets on the laundry pile. It appears Phoebe had peed over them. Now Phoebe is very very sad because she has no comfy blankets in the kitchen anymore. This happened before quite many times with cuddlybed and toys and other things. Phoebe just never learns.

Phoebe has been rather weird lately anyways. She suddenly became quite the cuddle cat. I am sure she just does it to toady up to Mommy and Daddy and have them love her more than me. I am still the cuter and more authentic cuddle cat, though.
But it seems to work on Mommy to some extend. She is always exceptionally delighted when Phoebe comes to cuddle her.

Now I need to go and check if Mommy has filled up the food bowls. I'm staaaarving.

Take care, fans!

-Ruska

Here is Phoebe cuddling Mommy...

 ...BUT I'M MUCH CUTER! SEE?

Breaking News: Ruska-Fans are rioting in Frankfurt!!!

Humans!

I am honored!
Like, really, that would not have been necessary!
If you haven't heard yet (of course you have, stop it, you! *giggles*) - the whole city is freaking out. There have been many policemen blocking the end of our streets for several days already. Now they are also blocking the other end and they don't let anyone in who does not live here. Mommy keeps looking out of the window and many neighbors do the same... or they are on the balcony.

Phoebe and me are also looking, we can't just look as much as Mommy. She always leans out to see more (grandma says that is dangerous, but Mommy won't listen to me!). We have been trying to figure out what on earth is going on out there. Phoebe says it has to do with the huuuge glas tower next to our home. There is money in it and people do not want money to be in it. She said she saw it on the news.

I almost believed her for a second there, but now I found out what is really going on.
MY FANS ARE IN TOWN! They put me under police protection!
My fans even burn police cars, so they can get through to me.
Really, my dearests, you do not have to do that! I am happy to give autographs to ALL of you of course, just line up in front of the house, I'll be down in a second.

How I know that it must be about me? Well, Mommy was looking again this morning after Daddy left for work and sent some pictures of burning things.
She shook her head and said "crazy world". Then she giggled a bit and said to me and Phoebe that we can feel a bit like celebrities now, since the police is protecting out street.
Then I tried to lean out of the window a little, when Mommy was looking outside. But she pulled me back and said "You don't want to fall out there. Especially not today."
Not today... see? It is because of my fans! Mommy is worried they will trample me to death. Or that the fame will make me use drugs and everything.

Sorry, I gotta go, I really need to wave to my fans from the window when they pass by the police blockages.

Love, Ruska

Here is the police blocking our street!

This is how it looks from our window!

 
Daddy took this one on the way to work.
He could not use the local train station, since it is burning.
You see more burning here.

Please, dear fans, stop that madness,
there is enough Ruska for all of you!!

The one where Phoebe almost died

Phoebe almost died today. It is true. I am not making this up.

The day started like any day. I wanted some breakfast and I needed to bite Mommy's foot a bit cause I hoped to get it faster. That never works. All I might get is a soft kick in my rear.
Phoebe was sleeping on Mommy's belly in the morning. She never does that. When I asked her why she would do that she said that she heard a song called "If tomorrow never comes." that says that you should show your loved ones that you loved them before it's too late.
Who would have known it was so close to the ultimate disaster? This day I mean?

Mommy and Daddy had bought lots of food for us and then they made food and I got some ham from Daddy when Mommy didn't look, even though it's very bad and everything seemed normal.
Mommy and Daddy watched a movie.
Then Mommy went to call grandpa.
This is when it happened.
Daddy, Phoebe and me were in the sofaroom. Phoebe was playing with a bug, but suddenly she ran away from it and said "ouchie ouchie". She never did that before. It's weird.
Daddy looked at her and at the window and at her and then he grabbed her and screamed to Mommy to get tweezers cause Phoebe was stung by a bee.
WHAT IS A BEE? IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE!!!!!!

Mommy put the phone with grandpa in it aside and helped holding Phoebe down. After she explained to grandpa what had just happened and after Daddy screamed at her to effing help her already.
Phoebe was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if it was because of the bee-thing or because she was held. She really doesn't like being held.

Then they let her go when they had managed to pull the stingiethingie out of Phoebe's paw. They said it has poison. OH GOOOOD.

Daddy went back to the sofaroom. Mommy kept talking to grandpa.
Phoebe was sittin in the hallway and was shaking and mumbling things and looked very frightened.
It's the worst thing if you're the older cat. So helpless. I didn't know what to do. How could I have made things better? I carefully licked her fur a little.
Mommy laughed at it. IT WASN'T FUNNY. I thought Phoebe might die.
Mommy googled if Phoebe could die.
She found out that Phoebe could only die if she was very allergic to the sting of the bee, which, as we found out, actually was the sting of a wasp. Mommy and Daddy mixed it up, cause bees lose their stingiethingie after they stung. And the stingiethingie was in Phoebe's paw so it must have been a bee. But it wasn't.
Anymeow - I went to avenge Phoebe when I found out the wasp was still up and running. Daddy tried to catch it in the living room. Daddy screamed and shooed me away when I came to help. Twice.
Pffff.

Phoebe didn't die after all.
Her front right paw is much bigger than before. Even bigger than mine.
It looks funny. She says it itches much but doesn't hurt. She's playing and eating as if nothing had happened.

This is Phoebe's paw 20 minutes after the sting.

4 hours later it is even bigger.
Mommy can't stop laughing.
How mean.
(It really is funny actually.)

-Ruska

Heat and prisons and friends!

Hello?
HELLO?
Humans?
Do you copy?
HUMANS?
DO YOU... does this work?
DO YOU COPY?
DO. YO- what was that, Phoebe?
Oh. Oh, okay. We are free. Okay. So you do copy.

Hello humans!

Please excuse the confusion, but we were just imprisoned.
You must understand my anxiety.

We were imprisoned, yes, yes indeed, by - and now wait for it - none other than our very own Mommy.
YES! It's unbelievable, isn't it?
She gave us many treats and we were very happy and then we were suddenly in the litterboxroom and the door was closed and we were inside and couldn't get out. We could only hear Mommy saying something about being "so very sorry" and then screaming for "airairair" and then we could hear her opening the windows. All the windows. They rarely open all the windows, because Mommy is worried that we might jump out of all the windows. When they are open.
I put my paw through the tiny space under the door. There was a lot of wind and I could hear Mommy running around.
Phoebe was lying down on the little carpet. The one she usually pees on. She said there was no sense in trying to get out and probably Mommy just wanted some bit of air and then we would get out again.
HOW COULD SHE EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT....??? I mean.... okay, she was right. But still... how could we have known? It seemed like the certain death.
But Phoebe was right and we got out and Mommy poured many more treats on the floor and laughed nervously and said something about "no reason to be offended" and "best Mommy ever, right?" Phoebe agreed. I asked her if she really forgave Mommy just that easily.
But Phoebe had already forgotten what Mommy had done to us and happily ate her treats.
Nobody is sane in here.

Things are weird, too, cause Daddy is at home.
Usually, Daddy is not at home.
Mommy used to be at home. During the day I mean. That was when she needed the work. I hope Daddy still has work now and does not need some again. Daddy calls it holiday.
The funny thing is... he isn't actually home. He is home, but then he isn't.
There are many friends of Daddy here lately. I asked Mommy if she didn't have any friends, cause there was only that one friend and then Mommy's cousin. She told me to shut it or I'd never get beefsteak again.
Unfaaaaair.
Then Mommy said that our friends neither ever visited us. That is actually true.
Well, granny died, unfortunately, so she can't come. But Jekku didn't show since we moved. Neither did Casey. Not even Mikko, our brother, even though he lives so close now!
Mommy said it takes manymuch time and money to visit, so people can't do that just that easily.
And that she hasn't visited anyone and neither did we and we couldn't blame noone.
Maybe I should write Jekku and Casey a postcard. Well, maybe not Casey, he didn't like me. Phoebe can write to him. I should write to Jekku, I heard rumors there is a new girl in his life. That's how fast he forgot about me. I'm heartbroken.
I will only date beefsteak from now on. Until I die.

Last but not least, here is a picture of me on the new blanket that Mommy got from a friend.

Pretty, huh?

Byeee humans!
-Ruska

I don't like trees.

Hello humans!

Still not much beefsteak in sight. We got some pudding though. That's something, right?
I mean, it's real pudding only for cats. Humans can't eat it. Cats can. Mommy says that it is really extremely super unhealthy, but once in a while we should be allowed to eat a little bit of unhealthy.
I wonder if beefsteak is unhealthy?
I mean, it must be, because we get it so rarely. Then again, Mommy once said that beefsteak is very good for cats. That does not make any sense at all!

More news: the horrible car is gone! JACKPOT!
I totally got around sitting in it even. That's good.
Phoebe is sad about the car being gone.... she is worried she might not be able to ever go to the grim reeper again. What's the heck is wrong with that little lunatic?
Why would she even....?
Oh, nevermind.

Also.... the ballthing is still going on much.
It appears the blackredyellow ones that everyone who lives here has to find awesome are doing pretty well. I heard people say that they will be the master of the world. Or something like that.
Anyways, I think that's something special. Not everyone can be master of the world. What a title. If there was a master of the cat world, that would be me.

Mommy's arm looks funny, too. She sticks gluey things onto it and say they will heal it. Or something. She can't really move it cause she fell off a tree. Or something.
Now she is looking over my shoulder and tells me I am not supposed to write that she fell off a tree, because that is how rumors are started according to her.
Well, she did say something with trees and falling, so that must be it. What more options can there be?
Anyways, I never liked trees. When I was still and outside cat I made a hhhuuuge circle around them. Some of my friends climbed at them. One got stuck once. Humans had to come with portable stairs and help him down. Ahhh, good old times!
But trees, really, no thanks!

Mommy also got herself some new fur.
You know how humans feel the need to continuously change their fur. In the morning, in the evening, depending on the weather or what they plan on doing.... so complicated.
But I like the new fur Mommy bought today. It's evening fur. The back legs have cats on the knees and on the belly there is a Polaroid photo of three cats with some hashtags under them. So basically, the fur looks much like me and our blog. Mommy said it reminded her of me, so she bought it. That's so cute.

Goodbye, humans!

Beefsteak? Beefsteak!

Beefsteak?
BEEFSTEAK!

I love beefsteak!
Daddy bought us some beefsteak. He promised that some days ago and he did indeed. But of course there was a snag to it - we could have it for ourselves. He ate the biggest part. When I complained he told me that compared to our bodysize I ate a much bigger amount than him. Humans never understand! Humans are omnivores, you know? That means they eat everything. Cats are carnivores. That means we eat meat.
So logically, as humans eat everything, they need to eat a bit less of everything. We eat only meat, so there needs to be a big amount. That's obvious, isn't it?

Luckily we got other food than beefsteak, too. Just in case. There can't be enough food.
Apparently in our petfoodstore of trust there was a discount on out catfood of trust. Also, Daddy has to give away the very dangerous car soon. Which is good, cause cars are very dangerous. But it's also bad, cause without a car they can't bring as much catfood at once.
Today they did bring as much as fitted in the car...probably. It was a castle of food! Literally.

Told you. A castle.

Daddy and Mommy bought new ringelingthings, too.
Daddy's is a whole new one, like very different from the old one. Mommy's is a bit similar to the old one.

Phoebe and me tried to talk them into buying us ringelingthings as well. I heard people need ringelingthings in case of emergencies. So if they die or have some other emergencies, they can ringeling to someone and be rescued. I need that.
Mommy said, if I had a ringelingthing for emergencies, I'd call her every 2 minutes soon as the foodbowl is empty. Well, duh! That's the definition isn't it? "For emergencies." Humans are weird indeed.

Here is Mommy's ringelingthing.

Daddy can take pretty pictures with his ringelingthing! He can chose that only some colors show in the picture and some don't. He took a picture of me and I need to say, I find myself exceptionally eye-pleasing in this one.

Look at me:

Did you look?
Ain't i gorgeous?
#calicoisthenewblack

So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

The thing with the ice cream...

I am highly upset.
I almost fell out of the window, cause Mommy was almost dying. Or something like that.
Mommy and Daddy were gone - once again. When they came back, they had ice cream.
Did I mention I LOVE ice cream?
They ate the ice cream by the open window, but Mommy's ice cream tried to kill her so she ran away and Daddy ran after her.
I took the chance to have a look. I stuck my nose out of the window. My front paws were on the sill outside, my back paws on the sill inside. I was perfectly fine. Phoebe started screaming that Mommy didn't want that and that Mommy told her that if we put our paws out of the window we will die.
Pffff and she says I am the scared cat?
Then Mommy came back and started to scream that I was gonna jump and die. Duuuuuuuuuuude.
Daddy shooed me off the window.

Mommy offered us some ice cream then. Did I mention I LOVE ice cream?
I was a bit suspicious, it tried to kill her after all.... but I wanted to try anyways.
I smelled it, but it didn't smell so nice. I am sure it wasn't even ice cream. Cause ice cream never smells bad. I love ice cream. Did I mention that?

Then she offered Phoebe the ice cream. Phoebe screamed something like "ICE CREAM OF DEATH!" but sniffed on it still.
She didn't dare to try it either. I don't know if it was because Mommy almost died of it or because it really didn't smell like ice cream.
It was cookies ice cream. And cherry-banana ice cream. I never tried cherry-banana but cookies are delicious. Still, I'm sure that wasn't ice cream. I miss the good Finnish ice cream.
It's called Jättis. It's my favourite and Phoebe's too.

Ice cream of death that isn't ice cream.

As Phoebe told you there was the thing wth the ball and the feet yesterday.
I really don't get the hype.
Mommy was screaming a lot.
She was talking about a Jogi and a Klose and about people being too slow and other people being too fast.
I don't think the blackwhiteredyellows won. They didn't lose either. How is that possible? I don't know.
I want ice cream.

It's MY blackredandyellow, only miiine!

Here's Phoebe being all model-like with the blackredandyellow.

- Ruskis

Many spaces!

Hello hoomans!

It's been a while. Many things happened, I was too busy processing all the information in my tiny, furry head, so I really didn't have a free head for blog postings. Phoebe said she wants to read the story of "How I met my humans".... my version, I mean. I don't know. Probably it would bore everyone. I'm not that good of a story teller, you know? I am better with being... well, fluffy and awesome.
Also, there are more important things happening!

A friend of Mommy's was here for some days. We could sleep next to her on the sofa, which was a bed, so that was fun. Then Mommy and Daddy both got very sick and didn't need to go to work and were lying on the sofa, which was also a bed then, so that was fun, too. We watched a lot of the TV with the weird people that talk weirdly and that kill each other and there are horses and a tiny guy and an asshole (sorry, I am not supposed to use that word), but the asshole (sorry) died and that was fun. It's about a throne, too, I think.

Then we watched a show with many hoomans who are sick and one hooman grim reaper who wants to heal them but then he doesn't, because he is grumpyhuman. He walks on a stick and he is what Mommy calls "sarcastic". I find him entertaining. He reminds me of myself. The show is about a house, too, if I got that right.

I also had some quality times with Mommy. We watched a show together that Phoebe and Daddy don't want to watch. There are humans having superabilities or something. There is one that can smell and see very good and one can make other humans do whatever she tells them too. I'd like to have that skill, it would solve the food problem for good. There is also a guy who is weird. Mommy says he is weird because he has a psychological thing called autism and that is veryvery hard to act that and that the human who acts it is really good. She wants to marry him, too, I think.


Phoebe was peeing much again. The other day she peed on all of Mommy's bags at once. Mommy told Daddy she would give Phoebe away and she cried and seemed serious. But later she was hugging and cuddling Phoebe and said she would never give her away, even if she peed on everything.

I had the feeling Phoebe was a little unhappy. I don't know why, but she wasn't purring much. I mean, she is never purring very much, I am the famous diesel engine in this household, but still. She was like not purring at all. She seems happier now, because (and that was supposed to be the actual content of this blog post) things changed very muchy.

Some days ago Daddy and Mommy carried big pieces of wood to the flat. It was exhausting I think. We had to wait in the kitchen so we only heard them cursing and then there were pieces of wood, so I did the math.
They wanted to build a box out of it... or something. But they couldn't cause something was missing.
But then they finally started building it and on Friday and yesterday they were building a lot. Mommy got a small breakdown because of the chaos. I think she might be allergic to chaos. I should take her to the grim reaper soonish. Daddy said it's because she realizes we live here now and won't go back to the old place anytime soon. I don't know. They carried much more stuff yesterday while we were waiting in the kitchen once again. This time from the flat to out of the flat.
And then when it was very late already the bedroom was there!! There was something reminding me of a bedroom before when we were allowed to take a look every now and then, but now it is a real one! There is many spaces and no chaos and the door is always open for kittycat inspection. I very much like this. Mommy put a pillow and a towel on the window sill and Phoebe sleeps there all the time and loves it and she is purring more than I have ever heard her purring.
Daddy says maybe she won't pee anymore now. I doubt it.
Now I will go back to lie on the bed for a while. Who knows, maybe they will take it away from us again some time soon.
Mommy and Daddy are watching the TV with the men trying to win against other men in some game. It's Russia and Finland right now and Mommy says Russians can't play fair and Finns can't play good at the moment and that she probably should forget about Finland and support Germany for this world cup, cause even they are a less lost case.

Byeeee!


P.S. Happy Meowmmy's Day, Mommy!

The bedroom and our bed and the new box with the human furs!

Phoebe and me on our bed this morning.

Phoebe on the pillowbed on the window sill.

How I met my Humans...

Hallo humans!!

Craaaazy times, I tell you.
Mommy is working now and Daddy is working still. We are alone at home during the day time. I thought that means we will have more time to blog, but we really don't. Most time goes to waste because I need to calculate food amounts. With Mommy and Daddy gone all day we have to be careful not to eat all the food up right away, cause otherwise we won't have any all day.
I found out the best way is to eat nothing all day and then loop everything down when Daddy comes home, so he will give us more.
Phoebe peed around a bit, because she thought maybe Mommy wouldn't leave her alone then. But Mommy still did, so Phoebe doesn't pee around anymore.
She also converted to Christicatnity. Some people that call themselves witnesses of some guy whose name I forgot where visiting the neighbors lately. Phoebe sat behind the door and listened to the conversation. It was about a dude called jesus who is our saviour and some stuff like that. Has something to do with a thing called Easter, too, because he died or something... and then he didn't... or... I don't know, really. But Phoebe believes everything she hears and she got all excited about that Jesus and that God and now she prays every night. Very loudly. I can't sleep then.
She prays for food (I approve), shiny fur, lots of toys, not to have pee-incidents, Mommy coming home from work sooner, many birds to watch, free cat-lives refills and so on... Well, I am sure it's just a phase.

But we had another idea for this blog... there is a show called "How I met your mother"... it's quite a hype as it seems. Basically it's some dude telling his children about how he met their mother. It takes ages.
Anyways, Phoebe wanted to do that, too, so we will.

-Ruska


Part I, how Phoebe met her humans, et voila:


"How I met my Humans
pt. I: Phoebe

I met my humans on a cold and rainy autumn day. I was living back at my very old home with my real Mom and my Mom's human Mommy and my siblings and a dog. I was small and cute and fluffy. I did not have a name yet, I was just "the black girl". Sometimes I got mixed up with my brother, wo was black, too, but he had some more white than me and also, he really wasn't a girl. I have two other brothers who are gingers and one striped sister.
It was around noon and I was very busy playing with my siblings... those, who were left. One of my ginger brothers had already been picked up by his humans a few days earlier. Our Mom had told us before that we would soon get into new families, as all our older siblings did as well. Our Mom had many babies, she was used to them leaving. For us it was a bit scary but also very exciting. I very well remember the last time I saw my brother, while his new human child girl carried him to a carrier box on her arms. He looked at us all scared and still a bit happy to be the very first one to start his adventure. His new family looked nice.
Sometimes, our Mom said, they don't look nice. We all wanted a nice looking human family.
That day I had just hidden under the sofa with the left ginger brother when the doorbell rang and our Mom's human Mommy went to open. We heard her say "Oh, you come to pick up your cat!"... and we all got excited. Who's turn would it be? Would they look nice? Who would they be?
I watched from under the sofa with my brother when they came in. The girl reminded me much of our brother who had left some days earlier. Scared and happy and with red hair. The guy had blonde hair and carried a carrier box. They looked nice. My brother called dibs immediately. I told him that that wasn't how it works. Our Mom's Mommy said "Yours is..." and started looking around the room. She looked at our sister and our black brother in the corner... no, it wasn't them... then under the sofa. She reached out and my brother ran towards her to be picked up, but she held him back and grabbed me instead. Jackpot! Born a winner!
"...this one!" She held me in front of the two humans. The girl made a weird squeaky sound and said something about "Much smaller than I thought."... her eyes grew very big and sparkly and she smiled very widely. Probably she also thought "Jackpot". The guy took me on his arm. They talked to my Mom's Mommy for a while, but I didn't listen, I was so very excited. The new family looked nice, but immediately so many other questions popped up. Where would my new home be? Would there be other cats? Or a dog? Children? Would there be enough food? Would it be yummy? Would there be toys? A lot of them? And of course the most important question every newly adopted kitty wants to know: What would my new name be?
I waved to my siblings when they put me into the box. It had a warm blanket and a toy mouse in it.
My Mom wasn't anywhere to be seen.
We went to a car and started the drive. I was in the box on the back seat, in the middle. The girl was to my front on the right, the guy left. The guy had to drive and looked in front, but the girl was turned towards me all the time. She put her fingers through the fence in the door so I could sniff them and she scratched my chin a little. She told me I didn't need to worry and we would soon be home.
We pulled over at a place with a yellow M and the guy left the car for a while. I needed a toilet as I was so excited and I squeeked a little. He soon came back with a bag that smelled nicely. We continued driving.
The girl still looked at me. Then her eyes grew wide and she looked at the guy: "PHOEBE!" she said. "What?" "Phoebe! Baby, what do you think of Phoebe? We should call her Phoebe!" "Yeah, that sounds nice." He said. The girl turned around again "Well, hello little Phoebe 'Why not Zoidberg' von Fluffy Terror!", she said to me. So that was my new name!
We soon reached the flat and went inside. "Welcome home, Phoebe!" they said. I immediately looked at everything. The girl ran after me with a camera. She loved everything I did. Even when I used the litter box, she got all excited. "BABYYYYY, look at this! She knows how to use the toilet, too!"
She then picked me up so the guy could take a picture of me on her arms. "Look little Phoebe," she said, pointing at the camera, "Daddy is taking a picture of you and Mommy. Smile!"
This is how I met my Mommy and Daddy.

This is me inspecting the flat with Mommy running after me.

This is me on the first night in my new home, watching Daddy play a game.

This is the picture Daddy took of me and Mommy.

" -Phoebe

...to be continued...

I don't always love mice...

...but when I do, Mommy has probably sprayed them with catnip.

-Ruska

Soccer and PhoePee

Hi!

Oh, wow, I'm so exhausted!
Just finished a wild soccer game against Mommy. I am not quite sure who won. Probably me. Mommy is very good in soccer. I am too... because I am superfast.
So superfast that sometimes my feet slip away and I fall on my belly. Luckily I am well-furred, so it does not hurt too much. Phoebe was playing with us for a while, but she is more a fan of the game we played before soccer. Mommy throws our toys from the scratching tree to the other end of the living room or the hallway and we have to run and catch them. It is fun, but I like soccer more. There is only one ball involved and not so many toys to clean up afterwards. Even though it is Mommy who cleans them up anyways.
Wow. I really would need some food now, after all that sports. But of course the bowls are empty again... ugh, gosh. Well, at least Mommy saved my food from Phoebe today, so I still have some bit in my belly.

Phoebe turned into PhoePee again.On Saturday and yesterday she was bored and wanted Mommy to give her attention. Unfortunately Mommy was too busy at the exact moments when Phoebe wanted attention, so she could not give her attention. Phoebe said something about "I'll show her." and then peed somewhere in the flat where she knew Mommy would go soon and step in. And Mommy did step in. Two times. On Saturday she was very angry and went to the shops to get out right after the incident. But yesterday that wasn't an option, as she just came from the shops. So instead she screamed at Phoebe. Dude, I have never heard her screaming like that. She told she would find another family for Phoebe and then Phoebe would wish she would have appreciated the attention she gets here, because the new family would not give a fuck about her. And she would never get cuddled and never talked to and she couldn't write a blog and wouldn't get candy. And they would only feed her crappy food and maybe only once a day and eventually in a few years Phoebe would die from kidney failure or diabetes or another bad sickness that cats can get from crappy food! I just looked at Mommy with biiig eyes. I have really never seen her so angry.
Phoebe sat under the scratching tree and cried and shivered and said she was sorry and she didn't want to leave and die. And then Mommy started crying because she felt like a bad Mommy and because she had screamed so much at Phoebe, so she hugged Phoebe and told her why she was upset about what Phoebe did and then we got loooooots of candy.
Lets see when Phoebe will pee again. Can't wait for Mommy's reaction.
So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

The Drain Disaster

It appears our flat is broken.
Or something like that. At least something is very wrong with it.
I guess it's a conspiracy and probably also has to do with the cat food.

Lately when Mommy is washing our food bowls and human food bowls it starts smelling really weird. But not in the kitchen, where she is washing them, but in the litterboxroom! That's odd. Maybe ghosts? The ghosts of the lost cat food? I don't know.
The more she washes, the more it smells. And dirty water is flooding into the tub where our litterboxes are in. I though humans wash things so they smell better... I don't know. Mommy seems to be annoyed by it, Daddy too. They say it has to do with something called drains. And with the old house that our flat is in.
Yesterday Mommy bought a bottle of dangerous stuff. They said when you put it into those drains then there is no water getting stuck. Mommy wore a dish cloth in front of her nose and mouth and pink rubber gloves and she did something in the litterboxroom and we weren't allowed to go there. Our one litterbox is in the hallway. She went in there many times and did things many times. But it still didn't fix it, apparently. Today she used the dangerous stuff in the kitchen, after they had opened the space under the litterboxtub and looked at the drains. Mommy stuffed the black thing into the hole in the litterboxtub, that keeps the water from getting out. Turns out, this way it keeps the water from getting IN and also the bad smell away. She says the problem is solved now. I'm not sure if that is really true, but she is happy.

Mommy is also baking much lately. She comes up with her own recipes and makes muffins. They smell freaking delicious! I don't get any, of course. It's not fair. Today she asked Daddy what muffins she should make. I stood next to them and told her to make cat food muffins. She ignored me and kept asking Daddy what muffins she should make. GOSH, humans are impossible. As my escaping plans are on ice right now, maybe I should get started on catfoodmuffinplans. I watched Mommy making muffins, it can't be too hard. I just put cat food into the moulds and put it to the oven.

Mommy and I have a new game, too.
I realized the thread she uses to clean her teeth is exceptionally interesting. I try to catch it when she holds it. I need to stand up for that and apparently I look very cute when I do that. I can imagine. I am a cute cat.

Unfortunately I am too fast for Mommy's slow mobile camera.
But you get the idea.

-Ruska

Parachuting canceled due to window-problems.

Parachute plan canceled.
Everything seemed to work perfectly fine. I managed - with Phoebe's help - to knot myself into some belts and attach the cuddly blanket from the sofa to it. I stole one of Mommy's scarfs and wrapped it around my head for protection. Did not find any glasses, but decided it had to work without them. I could already smell freedom and tons of food. Ruska ready for take off.... - and then I didn't manage to open the window.
Well, it is unfortunate, but I will find another solution eventually. To be honest, parachuting sounds a little bit scary after all. Maybe I should pack myself in a box and send it somewhere. I bet you can find petfoodshopadresses on the internet. That would be a marvelous place to send myself to. Then again... I'd probably be in cars. With the box. That would maybe be too scary, too. If I... no, way too scary.
An adoption ad online! Pawesome! No, wait... if I get adopted, that means new humans.... maybe other cats... maybe they have dogs... maybe even less food. No, no, that's not good.
I think maybe I should stay here. Yeah, that sounds good. Yes.

It is not too bad here, actually. If I think about it. At least we get food and it tastes really good. And on Saturday we had a women's night with Mommy. Phoebe was too small, she was playing on her own. First I watched Mommy sitting in the big box in which our litterboxes are usually. It was filled with water and extremely suspicious. She asked me if I wanted to come in, but it was too scary. And I think maybe she wasn't all serious about that.
Afterwards we watched a movie called Sex and the City. It's for women. I am a woman. Cat...woman. Anyways, it was fun. I tried to steal Mommy's chocolate, but she said I couldn't have it. I didn't get wine either. But I got some treats. It's something!

When it come to the food situation - things have gone from bad to worse. I actually caught Phoebe eating the rest of the food in my bowl today. It's supposed to be the other way around. That is just so wrong.

-Ruska

This was my parachuting helmet.

PhoePiece and PhoePee

Times are getting rough, I can tell you.
Foodwise, mostly. Also otherwise, sometimes.

Mommy decided that I am getting too fat and that she has to put me on a diet. She is shooing me away whenever I get close to Phoebe's bowl. I. AM. JUST. WELL. FURRED. And hungry. Very hungry. I might die of hunger. Also, Mommy loves Phoebe more than me. Yesterday after she gave us dinner, she would put some kibbles in Phoebe's bowl, so Phoebe would eat more of the wet food under them. Because, she said, if Phoebe eats as little as usual and Mommy goes to bed, then she can't check if I eat all the rest of Phoebe's food. Which I might do, indeed, yes. But ONLY because I am hungry. Not because I am fat. Those two things are like totally unrelated!
And as if all of that wasn't enough, the portions we get are a lot smaller than before! WHAAAT? Mommy says that is because I always eat all the rest and Phoebe only gets a few bites. If there is less food in total then Phoebe still only gets a few bites, but there is a smaller rest for me to eat. That does not make any sense whatsoever. I am seriously thinking of calling animal rescue. I am severely mistreated here, yes I am.

Phoebe starts getting bored again, too. And that does not mean any good. If Phoebe gets bored it usually means that something breaks or she gets into some kind of trouble with Mommy. Like the other night when we played tag. Mommy had left her wineglass on the sofa table and I told Phoebe to be careful when chasing after me, cause Mommy surely would not be amused if we threw it over. After all, Phoebe is already responsible for the deaths of two other wineglasses.
So we were playing and I was running over the table, of course next to the glass, and Phoebe was chasing after me and I just hear a loud clank and Phoebe saying "Whoops" and the glass is in thousand pieces on the sofaroom floor. Right and then they say I am the fat one. I at least manage to fit perfectly past the glass without dropping it, unlike oh so slim Phoebe. Daddy immediately came out of the bedroom to see what happened, and Phoebe hid in our box castle. However, Daddy didn't switch the light on, so he said to Mommy that there was nothing and he left. I already thought Phoebe got away with it once again, but a while later Mommy came out mumbling something about "better saving that wineglass". Uh oh.
Of course she got very angry when she saw that there was nothing to save anymore. And she cursed about Phoebe and about Daddy, because he hadn't noticed and about how she could not sleep anymore now. I was sitting next to her and told her that it was Phoebe and that I had told Phoebe that she should be careful and that I really tried to help and Phoebe didn't listen and Phoebe is very bad-mannered cat and that I try my best in telling her right from wrong and that I can only do so much, cause, you know, what's lost is lo- and then Mommy snarled at me to shut it. Whaaaat? It is really not fair! She didn't even listen! I am the good one here! In fact, I am the victim! We are both victims! PhoePiece's victims! (I decided to call her PhoePiece, cause she leaves things in pieces. Hihi.)

PhoePee returned as well. I guessed it couldn't be too good that Mommy bragged about how Phoebe didn't pee anywhere but the litterbox anymore since we moved. Well, yesterday she did. Right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's nose basically. Despite they didn't notice until it started smelling. I asked Phoebe why she would do that. After all, Phoebe had decided to not pee on things anymore, as she was too old for that already. Yeah right. Phoebe said, that Mommy and Daddy were only looking at movies and not at her and that she doesn't like that. And guess what? Now she gets even more attention than she already gets all the time, because Mommy and Daddy are so worried that she will pee again. Maybe I should pee somewhere, too, to get my will. Maybe into the food bowls. No wait, that is disgusting. Maybe into Phoebe's bowl only? No wait, I eat from that, too. Well, then next to the food bowls. Yeah, I might as well just to that.

Today Mommy was playing with Phoebe and Phoebe clawed into Mommy's foot and then Mommy was bleeding. But Mommy still laughed about it. It is incredible! That little monster can just do whatever it wants without getting any punishment!

-frustrated Ruska

Here' PhoePee and Mommy's foot.

Clearing some common misunderstandings! aka. I AM NOT FAT!

Hello.

I. Am. Upset.

People do not take me serious. Everyone makes fun of me. All the time.
So now I will have to put some things clear:

1. I am not fat, I am well-furred.
2. I do not run like a walrus, I run very cutely.
3. I do not wobble, there just aren't bras for cat bellies.
4. I do not eat too much, I get too little food.
5. I do not have a boy's face, I have distinctive outlines.
6. I am not a spastic, I just sometimes lose control of my neck-muscles.

Did we sort that out now, yes?
Well, that is great. Lately I have been accused of all of the above several times. People enjoy it most, when they can draw a comparison with Phoebe at the same time. Phoebe is petite. Phoebe runs svelte like a gazelle. Phoebe is so muscular. Phoebe only eats tiny bits of food. Phoebe has a cute little face. Phoebe never shakes her head weirdly. Phoebe...pfffffffff.

And as if that all was not yet enough, Mommy has left us alone all day. She went to grandma and spare-grandpa and dug around in their garden. I don't know what a garden is, is it like a litter box? Whatever... there was no food all day and nobody to clean our litter boxes.
Then it stroke me! Mommy can never find a job! We would always be foodless from the morning to the evening! Maybe I should start writing emails after Mommy has send applications and spread some rumors about her. "Don't hire her, she never gives her cats enough food." Maybe... I don't know. Might be too mean. "Ruska is so mean. Phoebe is so nice. Mömömömööööblalaaaablablaa." Pff.

Also, I was very happy that the drawing of me looked much better than the drawing of Phoebe. I am so pretty, one has to be able to draw me perfectly. Unfortunately, Mommy started drawing other pictures. She drew our sister Lotta who passed away and Daddy with our brother Mutteri and granny Minttu and then a dog. And I don't want to admit it, but they all look much better than me. I mean, than my drawing. Nobody looks better than me.

Maybe I should learn how to draw.
That would be quite sensational.

Mommy also got a new Bob-book. I am excited. I watched the cover of it for quite a while. There is a picture of Bob on it. Such a handsome cat. I wonder if he would agree on going on a date with me? *blush*


-Ruska

Mimimi...

...mimimimimimimimimimi....
Nyyyhyyyhy... hyy....

*sniff*
Ruska is evil. *rubs head* Ruska hit me! Mommy always says that you shouldn't hit nobody! Humans shouldn't hit humans and humans shouldn't hit cats and cats shouldn't hit humans and cats shouldn't hit cats! But Ruska hit me! And Mommy saw it! She even laughed about it! *sniff**holds head*
I want to get adopted. Ruska is mean. I think Ruska maybe hates me. Mommy maybe, too. And everyone likes Ruska more than me and.... *bursts into tears and runs away*

*munch**chew**munch*
*looks left**munch**looks right*
Hello? Anyone here? Hm....
Oh, I see.... little one took it personally. Okay, well, maybe I was a little rough, but you know...? One has to fight for one's food. Yeah, I admit, I didn't think far enough when I wrote about stealing Phoebe's food, because of course Phoebe read it here and got all upset. Duh. Stupid me. Well, can't think of everything. Anymeow, we almost got burgers earlier. I mean, almost real burgers! Mommy was cutting the meat that is in burgers to turn it into human food. She made two little plates ready, so we could have some as well.
As always, she carefully checked that we both get exactly the same amount as not to be unfair. So far so good...

Noms!

I enjoyed my portion, as I always do. Also, I gotta admit, it is pretty exhausting to chew that stuff. Phoebe was done in no time and then came over to look at my plate. She asked if she could have some... well, she asked at least, but of course I denied. Then she said something about me always eating her food when she leaves and it was only fair to turn the game around and she took a piece of my meat. Wooooohooooo, sloooowly, little one! I showed her that this wasn't going to happen, hissed at her and smacked her face.
I don't think Mommy laughed cause she hates Phoebe, but Phoebe's face was pretty awesome indeed.

Mommy started drawing again. She said she did that a while ago... like many years ago. She never drew cats though and she said it's a pain in the butt, because of all the fur. And Phoebe was a bigger pain in the butt, because of all the black. She is not very happy with the results. She says she screwed up Phoebe's eyes and my mouth. That is true. Anyways, my beauty can't be caught in a drawing. Not even a photograph.
Mommy said, if she cuts both pictures in half and puts my eyes and Phoebe's mouth together, then it is a pretty perfect cat. Well, that would look funny.

Weird-eyed Phoebe.

Weird-mouthed me.

Now I guess I should look for Phoebe. She apparently took that little incident personally. I almost feel a little sorry.

-Ruska

Phoebe's Food Paradox

Hello humans!

I know, it has been a while again... it is not easy lately. Mommy's head is full of not having a job. That is funny in a way, cause if you don't have something, how can your head be full of it? My head is never full of food, cause there is never enough of it... for example.
Anyways, because her head is full she spends more and more time on the machine. Looking for works or playing games on Facebook or reading in forums or watching some humans in red uniforms that can fly and help other humans. It is hard to find a time to write something for me and Phoebe. Mommy was even at a point talking about not letting us write anything anymore at all, cause she said that not many people are reading anymore and it would all be in vain. And that she needs the machine for other things. IT'S MADNESS! I tried to explain to her, that she should instead give us food more often. She said those two things are not related. Nonsense, everyone knows that food is the answer to everything.

The food situation has become critical.
Sometimes it takes many hours before we get more food. Mommy says, that is only because we eat much faster than we used to. Excuses. I came up with a brilliant idea... I am eating the food from Phoebe's bowl when nobody notices, after she left it. When she is coming back, she will find her bowl empty, and because she is believing in the good of everything, everyone and everycat she doesn't suspect it was me, but thinks she ate it herself and just forgot about it. Because she knows that she should only eat from her own bowl, she won't touch mine either. So I can come later and take my time to eat my own portion. Brilliant, isn't it?
What? What do you mean "that's evil"? One has to survive somehow in this cruel world! What would you do?
Well, sadly enough, Mommy got behind my brilliant trick and now she keeps shooing me away from Phoebe's bowl every time she sees me eating from it. That's unfortunate.

I really wish I was a human. They can eat whenever and whatever they want. Even cheese!
Mommy and Daddy were talking about burgers a lot on the weekend. I don't quite know exactly what a burger is, but the way they talked about it sounded like it is the best thing ever. Yesterday they went for burgers, because Mommy's friend from Finland was visiting. She is staying in Frankfurt as well, but without cats and not as long as we. She was nice. I slept next to her.
Anymeow, they went for burgers and I told them I wanted to join. As loud as I could.
Then Mommy indeed said, that I could have some too! I got excited! As you know, that happens rarely, but I really wanted to taste the burger thing! Burgers have cheese sometimes, you know? That's what Phoebe said. I don't know how she knows but it sounds about right. As burgers are awesome and so is cheese.
She went to the kitchen and filled food into our bowls and gave us a treat with chicken and cheese (yes, they sell that, wheee!) each. I waited next to the door while Phoebe ate her food and was all excited about the yummy treat. Then they left. I was still next to the door. They forgot me! Can you believe that?
Phoebe said, that Mommy didn't mean we could have burgers, too, but she meant the treats with the cheese. Well, that can't be right!? I think they just forgot me. I'm deeply hurt. Well, maybe next time.

I found out about another weird thing humans do. At least here, not in Finland though.
This time of the year they dress up as something they are not and then they have fun. They all it carnival. Yeah, as I said, weird.
Phoebe got incredibly excited of course and wanted to do a carnival as well. Ugh, god, no. She always wanted to be a dragon, so she dressed up as a dragon. I didn't want to dress up. Phoebe said I shouldn't be a party pooper. So I put on my crown and said I was a queen. Phoebe was happy. Not that my crown would be a costume, I am awesome, it is part of my normal accessories. But what does that little black kitten know?

This is our costumes.

Byyyee!
Ruska

P.S.:
Rest in Peace, little Pounci!
Too bad we didn't have the chance to get to know you...

Our Granny will take care of you now.
Hugs to your Mommy and sister Misto!
-Phoebe & Ruska & Mommy

I'M FAMEOWS!

Humans! Humans!
Sensational news!
I made it!
I am famous!
I am an internationally known cat!

Someone wrote a SONG about me!
ABOUT ME! There is no doubt!
The song is called Ruska. I am called Ruska.

I want to thank Mommy and Daddy and Phoebe!
And Grandma and Paule and the Burrito friend of Mommy, cause they always believed in me.
Thanks also to Tardar Sauce, the Grumpy Cat, and Bob, the Streetcat, for being my inspirations.
Also, everyone else. Thank you.
I am deeply touched.

Here is the song about me.

Mommy and Phoebe are jealous. I think.
I told them right away when I found out. They weren't even excited. Can you believe it?
They looked at each other and at me and at each other and Phoebe asked Mommy if "they should tell me".
Ah, what can one do?
There will be always enviers.

Say Cheeeeeeeeeese!

...no, really, say it!

I didn't always like cheese. Cats are supposed to eat meat and stuff, so I rather ate meat and stuff than cheese. In a way, I am very similar to Mommy, because Mommy didn't always like cheese either. Maybe Mommy is a cat. Maybe Mommy is me. Except she is not as awesome. I don't know....

Anymeow... the first time I got acquainted with cheese was back in our old home, when Mommy had started buying funny cheese that is soft inside and white around and also fluffy. It is basically a cat-cheese. Like... if it's a white cat.... you know? Fluffy... and... ah, forget it.
So Mommy had put the cat-cheese onto a bread and she put the bread with the cat-cheese onto a plate and she had put the plate with the bread with the cat-cheese onto a table. Okay. So then when the plate with the bread and the cat-cheese was on the table, Mommy left the room where the table was and therefore left the plate with the... you know. So I thought Mommy might have decided that she does not like cheese anymore again. After all, she abandoned it. And when I abandon my food, I do that sometimes, when it is not awesome enough for my taste, then Mommy says I can't have any new food, that is more awesome, because you should not waste food, because it costs money.
So I guess human food costs money, too, and also Mommy's abandoned cat-cheese-bread-on-plate did.
And because you should not waste food, I decided there was only one solution.
BUT, I know that in bread there are grains and a plate is like a cat food bowl, and cats should not eat grains, I learned that from Mommy and cats should neither eat cat food bowls. So I could only help with the cat-cheese. Mommy never specified if cats should eat cheese or not, so how could I know? So I took the cat-cheese and I ate it and it was very yummy and awesome and I was happy, cause I helped. You know?

Then Mommy came back and it turned out she still liked cheese and she hadn't really abandoned it and she was not amused that it was gone. After this incident she was always very carefully about keeping cheese too close to me. Until yesterday...

Mommy sat on the sofa and watched TV and there was a man with long hair who used to sing, but now he runs and survives. Or something... she liked him apparently. His name was Joey.
As she watched Joey she ate a bit of cat-cheese and as I sat next to her I could not help but notice.
When she noticed that I had noticed she began teasing me with it by putting it veeeery close in front of my nose and then she laughed at me when I sniffled very loudly. I did not get quite as much as the first time when I helped myself, but I got a tiny little bite.
Have to figure out how to open the white cold box, because I know it is in there.
Hmmmm.

Aaaaah, the cheeeeeeese!

Snifflessniffles...

Oh, this soft... white... cheeeeeese...

Send me some cheese if you like me. Write "For Ruska. Does not contain cheese." so Mommy won't notice. Thanks in advance.

-Ruska