Ruska is the Queen of effin' Everything!

HELLO HUMANS!!!

We have not been here in a while, because we were busy being on adventuuuures!!
Yes, yes, indeed!

We went on a vacation!
You better believe it!
On an actual, real vacation!
Mommy and Daddy went on a vacation to. To the Finland, where we used to live, you know. In the meantime, to not be home alone all the time, we went to a place called the catcave.
It is probably the best place on earth! The catcave is the place where Mommy's friend lives. The one who always came to feed us when we stayed at home during Mommy's and Daddy's vacation.
But she does not live there alone, no no!
She has cats, too.
Three boy cats. They are totally cool and awesome and not as boring and Ruska.
Also, I think they are my BFFs now. I think. I'm not sure. I hope.
I mean, they are my BFFs for sure! At least Joker is!

Ruska did not like the place all too much at first, so I pretended I didn't like it either.
Of course I loved it all the time, but I have to stay loyal with Ruska, you know?

But also Ruska started enjoying it. There is a lot of food and company. Not only cats, also a fishy, a living one, which is not food (Maurice told me he dropped into the fishtank once and it wasn't funny!) and also a weird longish thing. Like a very flat cat with very short legs... and with an armour instead of fur. Ruska looked into some books and came to the conclusion that it is actually a dragon with a beard. That is nonsense, dragons only exist in fairytales!

Oh well, that is how Ruska rolls. She has been telling a lot of stories during the past months. I believed all of them. I believed the one where she met Elvis Presley, cause it sounded plausible. Also the one where she flew her own little double-decker airplane (she told me it is red). And the one of how she fought a dinosaur and died, which is how she lost one of her nine lives.

Mommy then told me that all of that is made up, so Ruska could feel important.
I am in kind of a pickle there.
I think Mommy knows very much. Humans usually know more than cats. But Ruska is my very best sister-friend, why would she lie to me?
Mommy also said according to Ruska's stories cats must have some hundred lives, cause Ruska actually dies heroically in quite a lot of her stories.

But then again, Ruska, acoording to herself, is the queen of effin' everything, so I guess that is okay.

Here is Ruska I, Queen of effin' Everything
...she even has a crown.

Anyways, I was even a bit sad when Mommy and Daddy came to pick us up. For a second there, I thought we could stay at the catcave forever.
Ruska actually breathed into her paperbag and got a stress rash for the first 4 days there, cause she thought Mommy and Daddy do not love us anymore. But Ruska tends to be overly dramatic.

I think Mommy and Daddy enjoyed that we were at catcave. Especially cause I am so full of impressions and adventure that I completely forgot to pee on the floor lately.
Also, Joker told me that Luke sometimes pees on the floor and that he thinks that is totally stupid. Of course I needed to say that I find it totally stupid as well. What would he have thought of me?

Buuuut luckily Mommy and Daddy brought a lot of goodies, so it is not so bad being back home. I think Finland has better treats than Germany.

Look at them:

I like the funny-looking cats on the bags. And the treats are delicious! There are fishies and pillowsies.

Mommy and Daddy also brought new fur for the bed from Finland. But there was too little cat fur on it, so Ruska took care of that:

Actually, I think the fur thing might have been an excuse she used, so she would not have to admit that she missed Mommy and wanted to cuddle with her. With Ruska you never know.

Good night, humans!!

-Pheebs

We will get a new sibling!

Hoomans! Hoomans!

Great news! I will finally get a new friend to play with.
Yes, yes, it is true! Mommy and Daddy have been talking about it a lot lately. They want to adopt a new pet. Not a cat, no. Not a dog either. Way better - a coconut crab! Even better - a coconut crab baby. An egg to be precise.
We will put it in my cuddly bed and I can sit on it and hatch it and then it will call me Mommy! Because it will think I am its Mommy!
Also we can run around the flat with it and then it can open food cans with its claws so Mommy and Daddy won't have to do that anymore. It is going to be GREAT!

I thought about calling him Teddy.
I think Teddy is a great name for a coconut crab.

Ruska says it is not true. She said what Mommy and Daddy say is something called sarcasm. She said she watched Mommy look at pictures of coconut crabs and she was so disgusted she didn't want to touch her phone's screen to scroll down. Ruska says Mommy is afraid of crabs. Even of the very little ones. And coconut crabs can grow bigger than cats! But I don't believe her.... you know Ruska's stories. She also says she used to be a coconut crab herself in a previous life. So why would I believe her?

Look, here is a picture of how Teddy will look like when he is all grown up!
That's a coconut under him. That's how big he will be!

Byyyyeee!
-Phoebe

Happy Mother's Day!

Hello humans,

lately we have been rather busy watching the sport with the ice.
You know, I have mentioned it before. The stuff is called ice hockey and we are big fans.

Ruska actually keeps telling how she used to be a big ice hockey star herself.
She had four tiny little ice skates and on one of the front skates there was the ice hockey stick and then she was playing and winning all the games, cause the other players were all humans and Ruska could skate through their legs and nobody saw or could stop her.
I am not entirely sure if I should believe her. She tends to tell those kinda stories.

Anyways, today is Mother's Day!
That is special.
I don't really remember my real cat mother.
And I have never been a Mommy myself.
Ruska is a Mommy, but I doubt she can remember her babies very much, She does not like to admit it, but every time I ask her to tell me about them she has some excuse.

But luckily we both have our human Mommy!
We made this picture for her (and for all other cat Mommys out there. Note: The poem is NOT written by us!!!)

Bye humans!

-Phoebe

Hyvää Vappua!

Happy Meow Day Eve, hoomans!

Meow Day and Meow Day Eve are a big thing in Finland.
Hoomans get drunk.
Cats play and sleep and eat.
Yes, I know, we do that always, but it's way more festive on Meow Day Eve.

Anyways... as we are not in Finland, Mommy and Daddy don't get drunk.
They neither wear their fancy hats and clothes, that they usually wear on Meow Day Eve.

It is sad, because I think it will be much less fun than usually. Even though Ruska said we already spent last May Day Eve in Germany. Apparently, according to her, I have only experienced one May Day Eve in Finland, so less than here. I am not sure if that is true. I can't remember. So many exciiiiting things happened in between, who could be bothered to think about the past?

Also, tomorrow fun times are starting again!!!
There is again the show with the hooman men from different countries competing against each others. But not the same way as last summer where they ran over grass with a ball. They slide over ice with something that is not a ball. And they beat each other a lot. It looks like when Ruska and me are playing.It comes every year and I am a big fan.
This year for the first time I have a real jersey of the Finnish team!
Mommy says it is her jersey, but I don't think so.
It is probably actually mine.
I am going to wear it the whole next month.


I will keep you up to date!

Greetings from Ruska by the way.
She is stuck on Instagram.

Here is a picture of me from my first and only Meow Day (Vappu) in Finland!
I am wearing Mommy's fancy Meow Day hat!

Ruska of Shame and Instagram!!

Hoomans!

What happened?
I was very convinced we would write in here every day. Or every second. Or maybe once a week. Okay, once every two weeks.
Anyways, it has again been over a month!

But to our excuse - things happened!

You might remember Ruska's last post about the riots in Frankfurt.
Well, it turned out, obviously, those weren't about her.
It had something to do with the big building close to our home that takes the sun away from the window. I can understand the riots, it really sucks to lie in the shadow.

Then shortly after the riots Mommy and Daddy left us again and their friend came to take care of us. It appears Mommy and Daddy went to a place called Ireland. I don't know if that exists. Maybe they went to Finland and made this "Ireland" up, so we would not get jealous. Who knows?

But on a more important notice, also the reason why Ruska will probably never write anything in here ever again - we got ourselves a fancy Instagram account! Mommy is not all too happy about it, because Ruska spends day and night on Instagram looking at other cats and posting photos and placing hashtags all over the place. Mommy can't even use her own Instagram anymore, because Ruska refuses to log out for even a second. It's madness! I admit, I also post something sometimes.
But it is not that much fun, because Ruska -again- gets more likes than me all the time.
What is it with hoomans loving calico cats? I am even cuter. Why does nobody notice?
I guess I really should get that fur dyeing done. I was thinking about maybe pink with green dots. That might be special enough to get attention.
I told Mommy about it. She disapproves.
Really don't understand why, she is dyeing her fur as well, why can't I?
Mommy also cut her fur.
After she wakes up she always looks a bit like a Maine Coon cat with that fur standing to all sides from her head. It's amusing.

Anyways, if you have Instagram you should follow us and like all our pictures!
Our Instagram name is - who would have guessed - terrorteam.ruby

Here is a Instagram photo of me!
#cutestcatintheworld

Mommy was gone, Daddy was here and Ruska is stupid...

Hello humans!

I finally get to write here again.
There wasn't many opportunities to do that before. Mommy was gone and then Ruska was sitting here and looking at how people love her. Agrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

But from the start: last week before the weekend Mommy left to work as always, but she took a huge bag with her.... and then she didn't come back from work as usually. Instead one of Daddy's friends moved in the next day. I was very scared that Mommy might not come back. I mean, she told me some cats have two Daddys and that's normal and okay. But I still prefer having a Mommy and a Daddy.
Luckily it turned out that Mommy wasn't gone forever. One day after he moved in, Daddy's friend moved out again and another day later Mommy came back! Turns out she was on a work trip with some colleaguefriends of hers. I know work trips, Daddy has been on some. I thought only Daddy's could go on work trips, but Ruska screamed something about gender equality, which I didn't get and... anyways, Mommy was back! The morning after she was back I had to jump into her bed to make sure she was still there. She was.

Then also Daddy was here.... more here than usually.
Usually Daddy is gone during the day. Like Mommy. That's what humans do. It is when they are at work. Ruska says it is our free time then. Because being here and being cute and being cat and being cuddly and fuzzy and warm and purry and funny and fluffy and adorable - that is our job. Which we get paid for in food. That is what Ruska says. So when Daddy was home and not at the work, because he was coughing a lot, Ruska was very annoyed, because she said we have to work over hours now and nobody is gonna pay us that. Oh well...
I don't really buy that "job" thing anyways... I mean, basically we are just playing and sleeping and eating all day. Well, Ruska is. I am just playing and sleeping. So I don't care if Daddy is home during that time or not.

But Ruska is stupid anyways. On Saturday morning she teased me with how much cuter she was than me and how much more people liked her and she would show me. Then she jumped onto the bed and rolled around on Mommy's belly and then she turned on her back and looked at Mommy with huge eyes and Mommy giggled and took a photo. Then Mommy put the photo onto the Facebook and a bunch of people started liking it. Ruska then spent almost one full day at the machine here to look at the Facebook and count the likes she got for her picture.
And every now and then she looked at me and smirked very meanly.

It is just not fair. I am actually much cuter than Ruska.
I just need to do something about that fur of mine. It is way too black.
It is so black that when I try to look cute in a picture you usually do not see my eyes and then I look like a black blob and not cute.
Unfaiiiiir.

Here is Ruska pretending to be ohsocute.
She really is not actually that cute.
It's all Instagram filters.
There I said it.
HAH!

-Phöps

Half a year in one blog post!

Hello humans!

It's me. Phoebe.
Do you remember me?
I'm the cute black cat that you all like much more than Ruska.
No, I am not trying to manipulate you. You actually like me more.
You just forgot that, since we didn't write in a while.
*swings pendulum* You get very tired. You. Like. Me. More.Than. ...
Oh, whatevvs.

So, yeah, it looks like it has been a while.
That is not because we are lazy, no. There actually is an important reason for that.
Sometime last August Ruska read about something called a "strike".
A strike is when people - wait, have we told you about that?
You know it's been so long, I am not sure what we wrote about and what not.
Anyways, a strike is when people stop doing the work they are supposed to do and just don't do anything and as a result they get more salary than before.
I don't think that makes much sense. I think if you don't do you work you should get even less.

Anyways, Ruska heard about that thing and you know, we all know Ruska.
Of course she saw our chance of getting much more and much yummier food.
I actually did not care so much about it.
You see, I would get enough food if it wasn't for Ruska eating my food away.
But I decided to go with it, since Ruska can get very mean if I do not do what she says.

Until today.
Mommy found the picture I made last Valentine's day. Of me with hearts in the eyes, saying Will you be my Felinetine. And then she said maybe we will write something.... "päivän kunniaksi" as you say in Finnish. I don't know what it is in English. In German it's "zur Feier des Tages".... so... "to celebrate the day"... see, I do not even know English anymore. It's because I don't write here and I only hear Mommy and Daddy speak Finnish and Mommy speak German and Daddy speak Finnish.

So anyways, Daddy said we should write here again. Because we write very cutely and more and more people would read it and we could become famous. Like Grumpy cat!
Ruska should be impressed by that, she loves Grumpy cat. For reasons.


So, lets start with the recap.

August: birthday month.
Last time I was here I wrote about my birthday coming up.
Can you believe we are already half way until my birthday comes up again?
Then I will be 3 years old.

Anyways, I told you about the awesome fancy present I was waiting to get, remember.
I did!
Look at it:

September: aunt Jessie month.

In September Mommy and Daddy decided to go to Finland. They were excited about it because by then it had been a while since we moved here from Finland and had seen Finland.
I got very excited as well and Ruska started to panic. However, turned out we didn't actually even get to go to Finland. Mommy and Daddy went all by themselves.

They did not want us to starve, though, so they asked aunt Jessie to come and give us food and she did. She knows how to give food to cats, since she has cats herself. Three boycats. Ruska would like to meet them. Maybe she is finally over Jekku. I think boys are gross.


October: Mommy is less annoyed month.
Since October Mommy is less annoyed. She is also not home anymore all day. She has the thing called work. She seems to like her work. More than her old work. Ruska is less annoyed as well, since she has more free time now. She uses it to sleep.

November: the "I needed to check Daddy's Facebook cause I forgot" month.
So I really did not remember what happened in November, (OH LOOK THAT RHYMES!) I checked Daddy's Facebook. Turns out, strike happened. For example. Once again. How fitting. Daddy was very annoyed about it. It took him longer to get to work for example. Mommy was only annoyed on the weekends, since she always walks or takes the bike to work. So she does not care so much about strikes. Just that she was almost hit by cars when on the bike, cause there are much more cars on the road when people strike. Also... they approved same sex marriage in Finland in November. I don't know why that is a big deal. I don't understand why some people would think they can forbid others to get married in the first place. Anyways, apparently it is awesome!


December: tree month.
There were many trees in December! First of all grandma and spare grandpa came to visit us with huuuge boxes. Mommy and Daddy started to take down our climby scratch thing. It turned out there was a new climby scratch tree thing in the boxes we got from grandma and spare grandpa. And it was many timer bigger than out old one. Daddy built an improvised on in the bedroom from parts of our old climby scratch thingies.

Our new huge climby scratch thing in the sofa room



The newoldimprovised one

But December was not only about cat trees. There also was a thing called Christmas tree. Mommy and Daddy carried a tree into our flat. A real one. A real tree. Then they started to put lights and lots of toys on it. But we were not allowed to play with the toys. We kept to that rule mostly. We just threw some of the funny balls off the tree, but not much more. We thought we could keep the tree forever, but we couldn't. One day Mommy and Daddy took all the toys off and carried the tree out of the flat. Before that, they let me climb in it a little, but it was not so much fun as I thought.

It's me in the real tree

January: many people month.
Mommy's birthday was in January. It is every year in January. What an amusing coincidence. This year she invited some people. One people even came flown from Finland. It was one of the girls that once fed us in Tampere. Mommy did not know she was coming. She was very confused. I was also confused. Because now there were Mommy and Daddy and that friend of Mommy and Daddy and grandma and spare grandpa. But in the evening there were even much more people. It was friends of Mommy and Daddy and they know them all from their works.

It was almost a bit too scary for me. And it scared me that it was scary for me, because nothing is scary for me. Ruska played all brave and ran around and said Hi to everyone and asked them if they wanted more drinks and snacks and played the perfect host. But nobody understood her. Everyone found her adorable though. Pffffffffffffffffffff.

February: pineapple month.
Well now there is quite a bit of February left, but I will tell you the most amazing thing - we got a plant. Mommy said it's Daddy's plant, but really, it MUST be ours.
There was a pineapple on it and Mommy said it's a pineapple plant. Unfortunately the pineapple plant fell off the table in the first night for some weird reason that I have definitely nothing to do with and the little pineapple fell off. We also ate the leaves a little.
Mommy checked that they aren't poisonous. She mumbled something about wishing hey were. I didn't understand that.

It's me and the plant when the little pineapple was still in place

So that was a lot of new info!
Lets see when Ruska will break her strike.

Bye humans!!!

-Phoebe

Full-loafing, half-loafing and Ruska's alter ego...

Hello humans!

Lately Ruska talks a lot about cat school.
She went to cat school before she came to live with us. Also before she was pregnant and a Mommy. I don't believe cat school exists and neither does Mommy, but Ruska insists.
She says all outdoor cats that don't have human parents go to cat school. And later on they can teach it to little cats that were luckier in life and had human parents from birth on.

Ruska's favorite subject in cat school was loafing.
She is very good at loafing, I have to say. I envy her a bit.
She taught me how to do a full-loaf. You need to tuck all legs and paws neatly under your belly. Then you wrap your tail around your side, very closely. Then you look like a loaf.
I can only do a full-loaf. Ruska can also do half-loafs. Half-loafs are divided into front-loafs, back-loafs and side-loafs. Side-loafs are divided into right-side-loafs and left-side-loafs.
Theoretically they are easy. You tuck only two legs under your belly. Either both front paws, or both back paws, or both left paws or both right paws.
Ruska can do all the loafs very well. Front loafing is her specialty.

Ruska also has an alter ego.
We found out about that just lately.
Her alter ego is called Seppo and he is the opposite of her. He's very athletic, does not like beefsteak and is a big fan of the vacuum cleaner.
Ruska doesn't like him.
I told Mommy and Daddy that it was Seppo who peed on the floor, not me.
It is also probably Seppo who scratches the wallpaper of the walls and plays with his own poop all over the place. That's not us, no.
Mommy didn't believe me.
Bummer.

It's my birthday soon, by the way.
On Saturday.
You have to buy me presents. I'm turning 2.
Mommy said she found a present which is double-ridiculous. Ridiculous AND ridiculous expensive.
She isn't sure if I can have it yet.
I hope I can.

Byeee!
-Phoebe

p.s. This is me trying a 3/4-loaf. Ruska says it's not a thing. Seppo is impressed.

#Phoebe #cat #black #1/4bengal #hipstercat #meow
#cute #pretty #fun #Monday #catporn #catsofinstagram #instacats #kissa
#katze #pet #fur #sexygirl #cuddly #instapets #petporn

Mommy took it with her Instagram. I don't know what it is. But I know it's a place with many hashtags.
Mommy says petporn sounds wrong and that I am not a sexy girl. Cause I am a cat. That is true, but I saw on Instagram that people lie. They put many wrong hashtags only so more people will click the picture and like it. For example they might post a picture of a tractor and write "#cutebaby". Yes.

Why does nobody love me?

Hello humans!!

It has been almost two weeks again since we posted here. Ruska says it was actually yesterday and the blog was just counting all wrong. Mommy said it had really been two weeks. That is rather shocking. Time goes fast. We have the same problem as after we moved - Mommy keeps looking for works and that's why she needs to be on this machine all the time.
That means we can't write anything.
When Mommy is at work, we don't really know how to get the machine started.

I want some work as well. Mostly cause I wanna have a holiday, just like Daddy.
If you don't work, you can't have a holiday. That is very sad. Holidays seem to be an awesome thing.

Daddy keeps getting visitors as it seems.
Mommy only gets her Mommy, our grandma.
Tomorrow Mommy has a holiday, too, and she will meet grandma.
I like grandma, but grandma doesn't like me. She likes Ruska much more. Everyone likes Ruska much more.
That's not fair. Ruska is chubby and weird and paranoid.
I am slim and athletic and fun and cute. Why does not anyone like me?
When I was still a tiny little cat everyone made "awww" when they saw me.
Now nobody does that anymore.
I think it is probably because Ruska has many colors. Not many cats have many colors.
But many cats are black. I sometimes heard someone say that black cats are boring.
Some even think black cats bring bad luck.
Our brother Mikko is black as well. Nobody dislikes him though. Probably cause there isn't a cat with many colors around him to compare.
I heard when someone doesn't like someone else cause of their color, that is called racism and it's bad.
Maybe I should dye myself.
Like a rainbow.
Then I would look more special than Ruska.

Look how much more cute and special than Ruska I was when I was little.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. That means there will be the TV show with the one girl and many boys that want to be in love with the girl.
There used to be the same with many girls and one boy, but it wasn't so much fun.
Mommy, Ruska and me are always watching it and decide which of the boys we would want to be in love with, if we were that girl in the show.
Ruska votes for Aurelio. Mommy really doesn't like him. Me neither. Mommy says he's fake and his arrogance annoys her. I agree. Ruska loves how calm and slow he does everything he does. Typical for her. She also likes the doctor, but he is sometimes too excited.
I vote for Manuel. Mommy really doesn't like him. Ruska even less. He is always all over the place and Ruska says he would probably give her a heart attack.
Mommy can't decide who she'd want. Either Marvin or Tommy. But probably she will stay with Daddy, I guess.

Lat but not least: some pictures.

Ruska being cute.

Me being artsy.

Ruska doing yoga.

Byeeee humans!

-Phoebe

He's just not that into you!

Hello humans!

I have to write here, cause Ruska is busy. Busy writing a postcard to be exact. A postcard to Jekku.
It all started with her finding out that Jekku's girlfriend is actually a boyfriend. Or rather boy friend. Guy friend. You know where I am getting.
Even though I told her they might be gay, too.
Gay is when a boycat likes a boycat or a girlcat likes a girlcat.
I know that. Mommy taught me. It involves rainbows, too, but I didn't quite get that part.

Ruska said that's nonsense.
She saw the signs, she says.
Well, I'd guess the signs might have been a bit blurry with all them hearts flying out of her eyes you know?

Anyways, she decided to write to Jekku now.
I doubt he remembers her name.

The problem is... we mastered the typing with our pawsies, you just have to be careful to hit the right key. But you can always correct it if you by accident his many at once.
Real writing is not that easy. It started with Ruska not being able to hold the pen. She tried it with one paw, with two paws, with her mouth and her tail, but the pen just won't stay the way it needs to stay for color to come out of it.
Probably it's better that way, cause even if Ruska could write the postcard, she couldn't send it, as she does not know Jekku's address.
She is convinced that it's enough if she addresses it to "Jekku" and throws it out of the window.
I told her it doesn't work like that, but she said I'm just a silly little kitten that knows nuthin.
And then people think that I am the immature one of us. *sigh*

Just so you know if Ruska never writes anything to the blog ever again - she'll be busy trying to master the pen-writing.

So long, hoomans!

-Pheebs

Pizza Day!

It's pizza day.
Daddy and Mommy decided to order pizza today.
Ruska said that she wanted some too. She wanted some with beefsteak on top and the bottom also made of beefsteak. I said I wanted the same, but she said I could not have the same, because it was her idea. That's mean. Then Daddy suggested tuna pizza. I said I wanted that, but Ruska said I couldn't have it, cause it was Daddy's idea. Then I said I want a four season cat pizza. That is a pizza with crust made from dry cat food and then you spread cat pudding on it and then you put tuna, salmon, shrimps and cooked chicken meat there. And cheese on top. Ruska turned red and purple and green and then said she wanted that, too.
THAT'S NOT FAIR! It was MY idea!
But I am not sure if there will be any pizza for anyone, cause Daddy is driving a car in the machine and is talking to himself, I think. At least I don't hear anyone else talk. First I thought he talked to me, but he said things like "Lets go shoot him." and I don't even have a gun. Hmh.
Mommy keeps saying pizza is bad and will make us all even fatter than we are.
That's not fair, only Ruska is fat, so only Ruska should not get pizza.
Maybe I should pee somewhere, maybe they would order pizza then?

I also tried to dye my fur. I wanted to leave my head and back and tip of my tail black and then dye one red stripe starting from my chest going all the way around my sides and my butt and back to the front to my chest and then dye my legs and my belly yellow.
I would look like the flags on the cars and everywhere. I would be a walking blackredyellow and everyone would love me here. I guess.
It appears everyone here loves everything blackredyellow.
Mommy says that shit will go down tonight.
Blackredyellow will play against bluewhitebluewithsomeyellow.
And if blackredyellow wins, we won't be able to sleep all night, cause humans have no brains. Or something similar.
If they don't win, the country will be blown up and we all die.
I guess.

Oh well.

I want that pizza now.

-Phoebe

Here's me and Ruska being cute.

Am I nuts?

Mommy thinks I'm nuts.
It's official.

But I am very normal, really. It's just.... I needed to have a look at the paper that Mommy brought home from work. There were lots of foods listed in the paper and Mommy said she looks at it to decide what foods to eat at work during the week. Turns out, as Mommy got so weird to not eat meat anymore, there aren't that many choices. There's just one food without meat every day. So Mommy didn't really decide what to eat. She rather just looked at what she had to eat and was excited about it. The foods are good at her work, she says. So I wanted to taste and I started licking the paper.
The paper didn't taste like much. More like paper. But I like the taste of paper so I felt the need to squeak after every lick. Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick*
Mommy found that hopelessly amusing.
Then she said I am probably nuts.
I am not.

Because I didn't wanna be nuts, I went to the corner and started eating some wallpaper.
Mommy didn't find that quite as amusing.
In fact, she screamed at me. Can't humans ever decide what they want?
She also pointed at her eyes with her fingers and then pointed at me.
And she said she was watching me.

This is a bit how she looked like.

-Pheebs

So many worldcupz...

Hallo humans!!!

There is a worldcupz. Did you know that?
I mean....there was another one a while back with people dressed in blue and white and also other colors. But the blue and white ones were the best according to Mommy and Daddy. They are sliding around on fun white stuff or something like that and need to win something. The blue and white ones almost won, but not quite still.

Now there is green stuff instead of white stuff and the balls are much bigger.
It's called football, cause you kick the ball with the foot. I think. Daddy got a tiny football the other day and when he brought it home I tried to play with it. I kicked it with my paw. Pawball. But it was still too big, even though it is smaller than the worldcupz one and it kept rolling under my stomach and then I rolled over it and fell over.
Also, now the sticks are missing, cause they kick with the feet and they aren't so blue and white. I saw some blue and white ones and I cheered, but that was wrong apparently. I need to cheer for the ones with the white and black stuff.... and everything that is black, red and golden.
Mommy has a black, red and golden flag. It's lying on the floor. Other people have black red and golden flags on their cars. I saw them when looking outside from the window.

Mommy also has a necklace with black red and golden flowers. She put it on Ruska. Ruska didn't like it. Like really totally not.

Here is the unamused Ruska with Mommy and lots of white and black and black, red and gold.

Many other things happened, too. I went to the nice lady! It was a blast! I could drive with the red car that Daddy has. It's not his still, but I could drive with it.
The nice lady looked at me and at my pee. And she said that she really does not understand what is wrong with me. Hihi. That's because nothing is, probably. I feel fine.

Mommy said that maybe she needs to take me to the nice lady again and then the nice lady can look at my blood, too. And maybe she can then see what is wrong. I am not sure. I still feel fine.

Now I have to mentally prepare to look at the black and white humans kicking their footballs. Yes.
I promise I will write more often here again. Maybe. Or maybe not.
But Ruska will. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Bye!

-Phoebs

The thing with the car...

Howdie humans!

Ruska wanted to write this, but she is too busy trying to get rid of the stress rash she got from Facebook. I didn't know Facebook was that dangerous! It's all our uncle's fault! Ruska read something about a car that Daddy bough for his brother, who is our uncle. He just wanted to say that those news were missing from Ruska's blog post she published yesterday. He commented that on Facebook. Ruska read it there. I asked Mommy why she didn't tell us in the first place. After all, cars are very super exciting! Mommy said that she knows that Ruska really doesn't like cars. And I can't keep my tiny mouth shut, so telling me would not have helped either. And she really didn't want Ruska to get a stress rash. Well, so much for that. lol.
I asked Ruska why she got so stressed about a car. Not even our brother Mikko is so very scared of cars and he got hit by one once. I know that cars can be dangerous, all right. My cat Mom told me to always look left and right before crossing the street. But there are no streets in our flat. And only very small cars. So small, they can drive right through under my belly. Hihi. Maybe not Ruska's, cause her legs are pretty short. But anyways... No dangerous cars in this flat.
Ruska said, cars are never up to any good. Usually, she said, cars mean trips to the grim reaper or awful adventures. I really did not quite get what the problem with that is supposed to be. Nice lady visits and awesome adventures are great fun!
And now I am stuck with writing this, even though I was like super-busy myself. I just sat very comfortably on the pillow bed by the window and watched the sky getting greyer and greyer and bluer and then greyer again. I also watched drops of water running down the glass. Every now and then I made eye contact with a little bug outside on the window sill. I lost that now because of this nonsense. Most likely he already flew away. All because of Ruska's rash. Unbelievable.

Also, as awesome as the new space is, I figured one major problem already.... while you can speed right through from the kitchen to the sofaroom and back, the curve between the bedroom and the sofaroom is a mediocre problem. Me and Ruska crashed into walls and door frames and shoes many times already. The shoes are directly IN the curve and usually all over the place after we played catch. But that's really not our problem.

By the way, big news and a warning: don't take clothes down from the drying rack. Apparently it's forbidden. That's a bummer. And again - how could I have known?? I know I am not supposed to pee in the kitchen, so I didn't. Instead I played a little with the clothes on the drying rack. They were swinging nicely when I poked them with my paw. Some fell down. Didn't think it was bad. Mommy takes them down at some point anyways and she doesn't even like taking them down, so I guessed it was good I helped.
I was wrong. But at least she didn't get angry. She said at least I didn't pee anywhere and that's good.

Drying racks are useless anyways. And so fragile! I just wanted to check if that Mommy's bag that I had peed on was still smelling like pee. Cause if yes I would have tried to wash it again, so she wouldn't be angry. It didn't smell anymore. It smelled like "Summerfresh". Also, the drying rack fell over. With me. Happened already once this night while playing. Luckily, said Mommy, it was only the one with the bags and some bedsheets... so not everything fell off when it fell over. I think she might have been more annoyed if I had tried to climb onto the one in the sofaroom with all the human fur on it.

One never stops learning!

So long,
Phööbi

How I met my Humans...

Hallo humans!!

Craaaazy times, I tell you.
Mommy is working now and Daddy is working still. We are alone at home during the day time. I thought that means we will have more time to blog, but we really don't. Most time goes to waste because I need to calculate food amounts. With Mommy and Daddy gone all day we have to be careful not to eat all the food up right away, cause otherwise we won't have any all day.
I found out the best way is to eat nothing all day and then loop everything down when Daddy comes home, so he will give us more.
Phoebe peed around a bit, because she thought maybe Mommy wouldn't leave her alone then. But Mommy still did, so Phoebe doesn't pee around anymore.
She also converted to Christicatnity. Some people that call themselves witnesses of some guy whose name I forgot where visiting the neighbors lately. Phoebe sat behind the door and listened to the conversation. It was about a dude called jesus who is our saviour and some stuff like that. Has something to do with a thing called Easter, too, because he died or something... and then he didn't... or... I don't know, really. But Phoebe believes everything she hears and she got all excited about that Jesus and that God and now she prays every night. Very loudly. I can't sleep then.
She prays for food (I approve), shiny fur, lots of toys, not to have pee-incidents, Mommy coming home from work sooner, many birds to watch, free cat-lives refills and so on... Well, I am sure it's just a phase.

But we had another idea for this blog... there is a show called "How I met your mother"... it's quite a hype as it seems. Basically it's some dude telling his children about how he met their mother. It takes ages.
Anyways, Phoebe wanted to do that, too, so we will.

-Ruska


Part I, how Phoebe met her humans, et voila:


"How I met my Humans
pt. I: Phoebe

I met my humans on a cold and rainy autumn day. I was living back at my very old home with my real Mom and my Mom's human Mommy and my siblings and a dog. I was small and cute and fluffy. I did not have a name yet, I was just "the black girl". Sometimes I got mixed up with my brother, wo was black, too, but he had some more white than me and also, he really wasn't a girl. I have two other brothers who are gingers and one striped sister.
It was around noon and I was very busy playing with my siblings... those, who were left. One of my ginger brothers had already been picked up by his humans a few days earlier. Our Mom had told us before that we would soon get into new families, as all our older siblings did as well. Our Mom had many babies, she was used to them leaving. For us it was a bit scary but also very exciting. I very well remember the last time I saw my brother, while his new human child girl carried him to a carrier box on her arms. He looked at us all scared and still a bit happy to be the very first one to start his adventure. His new family looked nice.
Sometimes, our Mom said, they don't look nice. We all wanted a nice looking human family.
That day I had just hidden under the sofa with the left ginger brother when the doorbell rang and our Mom's human Mommy went to open. We heard her say "Oh, you come to pick up your cat!"... and we all got excited. Who's turn would it be? Would they look nice? Who would they be?
I watched from under the sofa with my brother when they came in. The girl reminded me much of our brother who had left some days earlier. Scared and happy and with red hair. The guy had blonde hair and carried a carrier box. They looked nice. My brother called dibs immediately. I told him that that wasn't how it works. Our Mom's Mommy said "Yours is..." and started looking around the room. She looked at our sister and our black brother in the corner... no, it wasn't them... then under the sofa. She reached out and my brother ran towards her to be picked up, but she held him back and grabbed me instead. Jackpot! Born a winner!
"...this one!" She held me in front of the two humans. The girl made a weird squeaky sound and said something about "Much smaller than I thought."... her eyes grew very big and sparkly and she smiled very widely. Probably she also thought "Jackpot". The guy took me on his arm. They talked to my Mom's Mommy for a while, but I didn't listen, I was so very excited. The new family looked nice, but immediately so many other questions popped up. Where would my new home be? Would there be other cats? Or a dog? Children? Would there be enough food? Would it be yummy? Would there be toys? A lot of them? And of course the most important question every newly adopted kitty wants to know: What would my new name be?
I waved to my siblings when they put me into the box. It had a warm blanket and a toy mouse in it.
My Mom wasn't anywhere to be seen.
We went to a car and started the drive. I was in the box on the back seat, in the middle. The girl was to my front on the right, the guy left. The guy had to drive and looked in front, but the girl was turned towards me all the time. She put her fingers through the fence in the door so I could sniff them and she scratched my chin a little. She told me I didn't need to worry and we would soon be home.
We pulled over at a place with a yellow M and the guy left the car for a while. I needed a toilet as I was so excited and I squeeked a little. He soon came back with a bag that smelled nicely. We continued driving.
The girl still looked at me. Then her eyes grew wide and she looked at the guy: "PHOEBE!" she said. "What?" "Phoebe! Baby, what do you think of Phoebe? We should call her Phoebe!" "Yeah, that sounds nice." He said. The girl turned around again "Well, hello little Phoebe 'Why not Zoidberg' von Fluffy Terror!", she said to me. So that was my new name!
We soon reached the flat and went inside. "Welcome home, Phoebe!" they said. I immediately looked at everything. The girl ran after me with a camera. She loved everything I did. Even when I used the litter box, she got all excited. "BABYYYYY, look at this! She knows how to use the toilet, too!"
She then picked me up so the guy could take a picture of me on her arms. "Look little Phoebe," she said, pointing at the camera, "Daddy is taking a picture of you and Mommy. Smile!"
This is how I met my Mommy and Daddy.

This is me inspecting the flat with Mommy running after me.

This is me on the first night in my new home, watching Daddy play a game.

This is the picture Daddy took of me and Mommy.

" -Phoebe

...to be continued...

Baby Ruskas and furless Ruskas

Hi there!

Ruska lost one of her excuses today. She tends to say that she is not fat, just well-furred. Well, as a matter of fact, she isn't well-furred anymore, cause Daddy bought a defurring machine! It's like a comb and a lot of fur leaves when you comb a cat with it. Ruska says it's probably a conspiracy and that she feels very naked now. I think it was only a little tickly but otherwise it was fun to be de-furred. We are very silky now. So smooth. So petable. So fluffy.

Daddy de-furrs Ruska...

My de-furred fur and Ruska's de-furred fur.

Also Mommy said something about getting a second Ruska. It sounded very complicated. She said she always wanted to know how Ruska looked as a baby, cause she was probably adorable. I doubt she was as adorable as I am even now, but who knows. So to get a baby Ruska you need to send a bit of Ruska's fur to somewhere and pay manymanymuch money and then a while later the somewhere will send you back a baby Ruska. Or something like that. The baby Ruska would be exactly like Ruska, just a baby. But it would grow and then they would eat all my food away. Mommy said it also could happen that something goes wring with making the baby Ruska, cause humans are not yet so good in copying animals. So it might be that first we get some one-eared, three-legged Ruska's that look like baby elephants. And she seemed to find the idea amusing. I decided I will save up some money and send some of my fur to somewhere and then they can send me a Phoebe Army. We would have so much fun together. Mommy said it costs 250.000 dollars. That is probably not much, right? I don't know so much about money, you know. But I should have saved up that money quickly.

Also, the flat smells very nicely again since yesterday! It was smelling weird the weeks before and I felt uncomfortable. Mommy also put up a new litterbox. Now we have 3. One in the kitchen and 2 in the bathroom. That was the idea of a friend of Mommy. Because they say that a litterbox in the kitchen is disgusting but my pee in the kitchen even more so. Hmmm.
The new litterbox is huuuuuuge. Ruska likes it. She says id very spacious and comfortable. I better won't tell her what Mommy said about it.
I quote: "That's even big enough for Ruska's enormous rear to fit in." Hihi.

-Phoebe

Grumpy Cat Mommy!

Hellou!

There are good news and not so good news!
Mommy got work! That's good news... and not so good news, because Ruska worries that we might starve because of that fact. I never actually thought about it, but Ruska said, when Mommy and Daddy are both at work, there won't be anyone to give us food during the daytime, so we will starve. I don't know if that is true. For example, Mommy was at grandma's place again today and we still really didn't starve. She gave us a huge portion of food in the morning, so much that I decided not to be hungry anymore after I ate two bites and Ruska ate almost all... Mommy says she doesn't get us. Hmm.

Today she even brought us something when she came home:

TREATS!

Also... it is Throwback Thursday again, everyone!
So here is a picture of our Mommy. As a baby. Looking like Grumpy Cat.

Grumpy Mommy!

-Fööbi

Ruska the bread-thief!

Hello humans.

I am slightly confused. Mommy might have a split personality. She can't decide whose side to be on. Mine or Ruska's.
So while Ruska was whining about the food situation and making plans on how to escape or not, cause it's to scary, I enjoy it more and more. Finally enough food and Ruska is not stealing it from me. That's awesome. Today Ruska was especially whiny about not having food when she wanted to have food, so when Mommy left to buy groceries, Ruska started to look for food on her own. She was sniffing around on the kitchen counter, where we are not supposed to be. As she always tells me what not to do, I told her that she should come down, cause Mommy would be angry if she found her up there. But as Mommy was not home, Ruska did not care. Then she stuck her nose into the bag with the bread and pulled a piece of the bread out. She knows herself how she is not supposed to eat human food and how cats should not eat bread because it's useless for our nutrition. She always brags about how she knows that and all, you know?
She took the piece, jumped off the counter and began to eat it. I told her to stop and that she would get into very big trouble. She just laughed and said that Mommy would think it was me anyways, as I am always doing the bad things. That's not fair. When Mommy came home I was very scared that I would get into trouble. After all, Ruska is right, usually it is me doing something stupid.
Ruska walked past me and smirked very self-assured. Then Mommy started screaming cause she saw the half-eaten piece of bread on the kitchen floor. She turned to me and asked if it was me. Usually, when I did something wrong, I run away and hide until she is not so very angry anymore. But I was innocent this time so I just looked at her with the most innocent huge eyes I managed to make. She then turned to Ruska and Ruska suddenly wasn't smirky anymore at all. She almost hyperventilated and looked at Mommy with huge panic-filled eyes. Even I am not that obvious when I am guilty of something. Also, Mommy found some white fur on the bread, so she knew for sure it was Ruska.

She said we wouldn't get any lunch now and I was very afraid.... I was hungry and innocent and it would not be fair to deny me my lunch, just cause Ruska did something bad. But Mommy realized quite quickly that she faced the risk of Ruska stealing more food, so we got our lunch. When Ruska left (obviously her belly was full of bread) with the  bowl half full and I was still hungry after I emptied mine, I again ate a bit of Ruska's food. Mommy shooed me away, like she usually did with Ruska. She never shooed me away from food, cause I never eat too much. But today I did apparently and she said one chubby cat in the household is enough. Hmm.

-Phoebe

Crime victim: bread.

Parachute-Ruska

Hello humans!

Oh, boy, what a weird devil's day! Daddy was home, you know? Daddy is usually always at work at devil's day, but today he was home. In fact, he was the one deviling today, Mommy only needed to mop. They were gone for a while during the day to look at animals. I really don't understand that. After all, they have two perfectly fine and very watchable animals right here. Hello. *waves*
In the evening they were planning to watch other Finnish humans. Or something like that. When they came home, Mommy didn't feel too well. She was whining around and lying on the sofa. She looked pretty much like Ruska actually. Hihi. She said she had ice coffee and it didn't do any good to her stomach. Ice coffee. That sounds delicious. I ate ice cream once. No, actually twice. But I only got a wee bit, cause Mommy said it is not good for my? RIGHT - stomach! And now she has a lot of ice cream with coffee herself and then she gets all confused about why her stomach does not like it? Really, I don't understand humans.

Ruska is planning her escape since yesterday. She does not like the new regulation of less food. She made plans all night. I think they involve a parachute. I am not so sure if a parachuting Ruska is the best idea. She is even afraid of the mop, I bet parachuting is much more scary.

Here is a part of Ruska's plan. She drew it herself.

I just hope the heaven thing is not meant literally. I mean, she does not even have a parachute. She says she is going to take care of it. Oh, god.

I have to say I like the new food regulation. As we get smaller portions I manage to eat mine all up. Ruska, too, obviously. Then we can't eat before we get more. And by then I am hungry again and manage the smaller portion again. So in the end I always get all the food that is meant for me and Ruska can't steal any. She really should lose some weight anyways. I wonder if the parachute would even hold her. If she had one.

The only thing that worries me is the warning sign next to the food bowls. It looks like this:

In case you can't clearly see it, it says
"Planning on...
...peeing somewhere?
...stealing treats?
...climbing somewhere you don't belong?

...destroying something?

...scratching Mommy?
...making a mess?
THINK TWICE"
and then there is the picture of a cat which is nailed to the wall through its ears! D:
Ruska says the cat in the picture is supposed to me be. There is some resemblance... maybe... but that is only by accident I am sure.

Last but not least: here is my awesome selfie from yesterday!

#hipstercat #yoln

(yoln is not a typo, cats don't live only once, suckaaaas!)

Byeee!
-Pheebs

Throwback Thursday!

Here is Ruska and me the first time she let me sit next to here without hissing.

Here is me when I stole a warm towelblanket from the laundry bag.

Here is me with my real siblings and dog-friend!

I am the black kitten on the right.

My real Mommy's Mommy took the picture to show it to my human Mommy.

So much for Throwback Thursday! Hihi!
I made peace with Ruska yesterday, she said she doesn't hate me. I don't hate her either, but it is mean that she eats my food. She said she'd never do it again. I don't believe her. But it's the thought that counts. Earlier she even kinds tried to eat my food WHILE I was eating it myself... I asked her what she was doing, she said "Nothing." and started licking my head. Then she jumped over me and ate her own food. Oh, well...

Ruska also said that Mommy does not really hate me. I want to believe it, but I am still not sure. Today Mommy said mean things again. She cleaned some sticky stuff off the kitchen floor and she was a little annoyed. The sticky stuff comes from funny sticky things, that Daddy put under the legs of the chairs and table the other day. Apparently they are supposed to protect them, but I think it is much more fun to play with them. It is tricky to get them out, you know, as the chairs and table are heavy and they are standing on them. But I managed. Mommy seems to disagree with my idea of fun, though. She said that next time she sees either of us trying to get those thingies out, she will use us to scrub the residue off the floor.

That is not nice. I have to be careful to only play that game when Mommy isn't watching.

Byeee,
Phoebe