Ruska is the Queen of effin' Everything!

HELLO HUMANS!!!

We have not been here in a while, because we were busy being on adventuuuures!!
Yes, yes, indeed!

We went on a vacation!
You better believe it!
On an actual, real vacation!
Mommy and Daddy went on a vacation to. To the Finland, where we used to live, you know. In the meantime, to not be home alone all the time, we went to a place called the catcave.
It is probably the best place on earth! The catcave is the place where Mommy's friend lives. The one who always came to feed us when we stayed at home during Mommy's and Daddy's vacation.
But she does not live there alone, no no!
She has cats, too.
Three boy cats. They are totally cool and awesome and not as boring and Ruska.
Also, I think they are my BFFs now. I think. I'm not sure. I hope.
I mean, they are my BFFs for sure! At least Joker is!

Ruska did not like the place all too much at first, so I pretended I didn't like it either.
Of course I loved it all the time, but I have to stay loyal with Ruska, you know?

But also Ruska started enjoying it. There is a lot of food and company. Not only cats, also a fishy, a living one, which is not food (Maurice told me he dropped into the fishtank once and it wasn't funny!) and also a weird longish thing. Like a very flat cat with very short legs... and with an armour instead of fur. Ruska looked into some books and came to the conclusion that it is actually a dragon with a beard. That is nonsense, dragons only exist in fairytales!

Oh well, that is how Ruska rolls. She has been telling a lot of stories during the past months. I believed all of them. I believed the one where she met Elvis Presley, cause it sounded plausible. Also the one where she flew her own little double-decker airplane (she told me it is red). And the one of how she fought a dinosaur and died, which is how she lost one of her nine lives.

Mommy then told me that all of that is made up, so Ruska could feel important.
I am in kind of a pickle there.
I think Mommy knows very much. Humans usually know more than cats. But Ruska is my very best sister-friend, why would she lie to me?
Mommy also said according to Ruska's stories cats must have some hundred lives, cause Ruska actually dies heroically in quite a lot of her stories.

But then again, Ruska, acoording to herself, is the queen of effin' everything, so I guess that is okay.

Here is Ruska I, Queen of effin' Everything
...she even has a crown.

Anyways, I was even a bit sad when Mommy and Daddy came to pick us up. For a second there, I thought we could stay at the catcave forever.
Ruska actually breathed into her paperbag and got a stress rash for the first 4 days there, cause she thought Mommy and Daddy do not love us anymore. But Ruska tends to be overly dramatic.

I think Mommy and Daddy enjoyed that we were at catcave. Especially cause I am so full of impressions and adventure that I completely forgot to pee on the floor lately.
Also, Joker told me that Luke sometimes pees on the floor and that he thinks that is totally stupid. Of course I needed to say that I find it totally stupid as well. What would he have thought of me?

Buuuut luckily Mommy and Daddy brought a lot of goodies, so it is not so bad being back home. I think Finland has better treats than Germany.

Look at them:

I like the funny-looking cats on the bags. And the treats are delicious! There are fishies and pillowsies.

Mommy and Daddy also brought new fur for the bed from Finland. But there was too little cat fur on it, so Ruska took care of that:

Actually, I think the fur thing might have been an excuse she used, so she would not have to admit that she missed Mommy and wanted to cuddle with her. With Ruska you never know.

Good night, humans!!

-Pheebs

Breaking News: Ruska-Fans are rioting in Frankfurt!!!

Humans!

I am honored!
Like, really, that would not have been necessary!
If you haven't heard yet (of course you have, stop it, you! *giggles*) - the whole city is freaking out. There have been many policemen blocking the end of our streets for several days already. Now they are also blocking the other end and they don't let anyone in who does not live here. Mommy keeps looking out of the window and many neighbors do the same... or they are on the balcony.

Phoebe and me are also looking, we can't just look as much as Mommy. She always leans out to see more (grandma says that is dangerous, but Mommy won't listen to me!). We have been trying to figure out what on earth is going on out there. Phoebe says it has to do with the huuuge glas tower next to our home. There is money in it and people do not want money to be in it. She said she saw it on the news.

I almost believed her for a second there, but now I found out what is really going on.
MY FANS ARE IN TOWN! They put me under police protection!
My fans even burn police cars, so they can get through to me.
Really, my dearests, you do not have to do that! I am happy to give autographs to ALL of you of course, just line up in front of the house, I'll be down in a second.

How I know that it must be about me? Well, Mommy was looking again this morning after Daddy left for work and sent some pictures of burning things.
She shook her head and said "crazy world". Then she giggled a bit and said to me and Phoebe that we can feel a bit like celebrities now, since the police is protecting out street.
Then I tried to lean out of the window a little, when Mommy was looking outside. But she pulled me back and said "You don't want to fall out there. Especially not today."
Not today... see? It is because of my fans! Mommy is worried they will trample me to death. Or that the fame will make me use drugs and everything.

Sorry, I gotta go, I really need to wave to my fans from the window when they pass by the police blockages.

Love, Ruska

Here is the police blocking our street!

This is how it looks from our window!

 
Daddy took this one on the way to work.
He could not use the local train station, since it is burning.
You see more burning here.

Please, dear fans, stop that madness,
there is enough Ruska for all of you!!

Mommy was gone, Daddy was here and Ruska is stupid...

Hello humans!

I finally get to write here again.
There wasn't many opportunities to do that before. Mommy was gone and then Ruska was sitting here and looking at how people love her. Agrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

But from the start: last week before the weekend Mommy left to work as always, but she took a huge bag with her.... and then she didn't come back from work as usually. Instead one of Daddy's friends moved in the next day. I was very scared that Mommy might not come back. I mean, she told me some cats have two Daddys and that's normal and okay. But I still prefer having a Mommy and a Daddy.
Luckily it turned out that Mommy wasn't gone forever. One day after he moved in, Daddy's friend moved out again and another day later Mommy came back! Turns out she was on a work trip with some colleaguefriends of hers. I know work trips, Daddy has been on some. I thought only Daddy's could go on work trips, but Ruska screamed something about gender equality, which I didn't get and... anyways, Mommy was back! The morning after she was back I had to jump into her bed to make sure she was still there. She was.

Then also Daddy was here.... more here than usually.
Usually Daddy is gone during the day. Like Mommy. That's what humans do. It is when they are at work. Ruska says it is our free time then. Because being here and being cute and being cat and being cuddly and fuzzy and warm and purry and funny and fluffy and adorable - that is our job. Which we get paid for in food. That is what Ruska says. So when Daddy was home and not at the work, because he was coughing a lot, Ruska was very annoyed, because she said we have to work over hours now and nobody is gonna pay us that. Oh well...
I don't really buy that "job" thing anyways... I mean, basically we are just playing and sleeping and eating all day. Well, Ruska is. I am just playing and sleeping. So I don't care if Daddy is home during that time or not.

But Ruska is stupid anyways. On Saturday morning she teased me with how much cuter she was than me and how much more people liked her and she would show me. Then she jumped onto the bed and rolled around on Mommy's belly and then she turned on her back and looked at Mommy with huge eyes and Mommy giggled and took a photo. Then Mommy put the photo onto the Facebook and a bunch of people started liking it. Ruska then spent almost one full day at the machine here to look at the Facebook and count the likes she got for her picture.
And every now and then she looked at me and smirked very meanly.

It is just not fair. I am actually much cuter than Ruska.
I just need to do something about that fur of mine. It is way too black.
It is so black that when I try to look cute in a picture you usually do not see my eyes and then I look like a black blob and not cute.
Unfaiiiiir.

Here is Ruska pretending to be ohsocute.
She really is not actually that cute.
It's all Instagram filters.
There I said it.
HAH!

-Phöps

Half a year in one blog post!

Hello humans!

It's me. Phoebe.
Do you remember me?
I'm the cute black cat that you all like much more than Ruska.
No, I am not trying to manipulate you. You actually like me more.
You just forgot that, since we didn't write in a while.
*swings pendulum* You get very tired. You. Like. Me. More.Than. ...
Oh, whatevvs.

So, yeah, it looks like it has been a while.
That is not because we are lazy, no. There actually is an important reason for that.
Sometime last August Ruska read about something called a "strike".
A strike is when people - wait, have we told you about that?
You know it's been so long, I am not sure what we wrote about and what not.
Anyways, a strike is when people stop doing the work they are supposed to do and just don't do anything and as a result they get more salary than before.
I don't think that makes much sense. I think if you don't do you work you should get even less.

Anyways, Ruska heard about that thing and you know, we all know Ruska.
Of course she saw our chance of getting much more and much yummier food.
I actually did not care so much about it.
You see, I would get enough food if it wasn't for Ruska eating my food away.
But I decided to go with it, since Ruska can get very mean if I do not do what she says.

Until today.
Mommy found the picture I made last Valentine's day. Of me with hearts in the eyes, saying Will you be my Felinetine. And then she said maybe we will write something.... "päivän kunniaksi" as you say in Finnish. I don't know what it is in English. In German it's "zur Feier des Tages".... so... "to celebrate the day"... see, I do not even know English anymore. It's because I don't write here and I only hear Mommy and Daddy speak Finnish and Mommy speak German and Daddy speak Finnish.

So anyways, Daddy said we should write here again. Because we write very cutely and more and more people would read it and we could become famous. Like Grumpy cat!
Ruska should be impressed by that, she loves Grumpy cat. For reasons.


So, lets start with the recap.

August: birthday month.
Last time I was here I wrote about my birthday coming up.
Can you believe we are already half way until my birthday comes up again?
Then I will be 3 years old.

Anyways, I told you about the awesome fancy present I was waiting to get, remember.
I did!
Look at it:

September: aunt Jessie month.

In September Mommy and Daddy decided to go to Finland. They were excited about it because by then it had been a while since we moved here from Finland and had seen Finland.
I got very excited as well and Ruska started to panic. However, turned out we didn't actually even get to go to Finland. Mommy and Daddy went all by themselves.

They did not want us to starve, though, so they asked aunt Jessie to come and give us food and she did. She knows how to give food to cats, since she has cats herself. Three boycats. Ruska would like to meet them. Maybe she is finally over Jekku. I think boys are gross.


October: Mommy is less annoyed month.
Since October Mommy is less annoyed. She is also not home anymore all day. She has the thing called work. She seems to like her work. More than her old work. Ruska is less annoyed as well, since she has more free time now. She uses it to sleep.

November: the "I needed to check Daddy's Facebook cause I forgot" month.
So I really did not remember what happened in November, (OH LOOK THAT RHYMES!) I checked Daddy's Facebook. Turns out, strike happened. For example. Once again. How fitting. Daddy was very annoyed about it. It took him longer to get to work for example. Mommy was only annoyed on the weekends, since she always walks or takes the bike to work. So she does not care so much about strikes. Just that she was almost hit by cars when on the bike, cause there are much more cars on the road when people strike. Also... they approved same sex marriage in Finland in November. I don't know why that is a big deal. I don't understand why some people would think they can forbid others to get married in the first place. Anyways, apparently it is awesome!


December: tree month.
There were many trees in December! First of all grandma and spare grandpa came to visit us with huuuge boxes. Mommy and Daddy started to take down our climby scratch thing. It turned out there was a new climby scratch tree thing in the boxes we got from grandma and spare grandpa. And it was many timer bigger than out old one. Daddy built an improvised on in the bedroom from parts of our old climby scratch thingies.

Our new huge climby scratch thing in the sofa room



The newoldimprovised one

But December was not only about cat trees. There also was a thing called Christmas tree. Mommy and Daddy carried a tree into our flat. A real one. A real tree. Then they started to put lights and lots of toys on it. But we were not allowed to play with the toys. We kept to that rule mostly. We just threw some of the funny balls off the tree, but not much more. We thought we could keep the tree forever, but we couldn't. One day Mommy and Daddy took all the toys off and carried the tree out of the flat. Before that, they let me climb in it a little, but it was not so much fun as I thought.

It's me in the real tree

January: many people month.
Mommy's birthday was in January. It is every year in January. What an amusing coincidence. This year she invited some people. One people even came flown from Finland. It was one of the girls that once fed us in Tampere. Mommy did not know she was coming. She was very confused. I was also confused. Because now there were Mommy and Daddy and that friend of Mommy and Daddy and grandma and spare grandpa. But in the evening there were even much more people. It was friends of Mommy and Daddy and they know them all from their works.

It was almost a bit too scary for me. And it scared me that it was scary for me, because nothing is scary for me. Ruska played all brave and ran around and said Hi to everyone and asked them if they wanted more drinks and snacks and played the perfect host. But nobody understood her. Everyone found her adorable though. Pffffffffffffffffffff.

February: pineapple month.
Well now there is quite a bit of February left, but I will tell you the most amazing thing - we got a plant. Mommy said it's Daddy's plant, but really, it MUST be ours.
There was a pineapple on it and Mommy said it's a pineapple plant. Unfortunately the pineapple plant fell off the table in the first night for some weird reason that I have definitely nothing to do with and the little pineapple fell off. We also ate the leaves a little.
Mommy checked that they aren't poisonous. She mumbled something about wishing hey were. I didn't understand that.

It's me and the plant when the little pineapple was still in place

So that was a lot of new info!
Lets see when Ruska will break her strike.

Bye humans!!!

-Phoebe

Why does nobody love me?

Hello humans!!

It has been almost two weeks again since we posted here. Ruska says it was actually yesterday and the blog was just counting all wrong. Mommy said it had really been two weeks. That is rather shocking. Time goes fast. We have the same problem as after we moved - Mommy keeps looking for works and that's why she needs to be on this machine all the time.
That means we can't write anything.
When Mommy is at work, we don't really know how to get the machine started.

I want some work as well. Mostly cause I wanna have a holiday, just like Daddy.
If you don't work, you can't have a holiday. That is very sad. Holidays seem to be an awesome thing.

Daddy keeps getting visitors as it seems.
Mommy only gets her Mommy, our grandma.
Tomorrow Mommy has a holiday, too, and she will meet grandma.
I like grandma, but grandma doesn't like me. She likes Ruska much more. Everyone likes Ruska much more.
That's not fair. Ruska is chubby and weird and paranoid.
I am slim and athletic and fun and cute. Why does not anyone like me?
When I was still a tiny little cat everyone made "awww" when they saw me.
Now nobody does that anymore.
I think it is probably because Ruska has many colors. Not many cats have many colors.
But many cats are black. I sometimes heard someone say that black cats are boring.
Some even think black cats bring bad luck.
Our brother Mikko is black as well. Nobody dislikes him though. Probably cause there isn't a cat with many colors around him to compare.
I heard when someone doesn't like someone else cause of their color, that is called racism and it's bad.
Maybe I should dye myself.
Like a rainbow.
Then I would look more special than Ruska.

Look how much more cute and special than Ruska I was when I was little.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. That means there will be the TV show with the one girl and many boys that want to be in love with the girl.
There used to be the same with many girls and one boy, but it wasn't so much fun.
Mommy, Ruska and me are always watching it and decide which of the boys we would want to be in love with, if we were that girl in the show.
Ruska votes for Aurelio. Mommy really doesn't like him. Me neither. Mommy says he's fake and his arrogance annoys her. I agree. Ruska loves how calm and slow he does everything he does. Typical for her. She also likes the doctor, but he is sometimes too excited.
I vote for Manuel. Mommy really doesn't like him. Ruska even less. He is always all over the place and Ruska says he would probably give her a heart attack.
Mommy can't decide who she'd want. Either Marvin or Tommy. But probably she will stay with Daddy, I guess.

Lat but not least: some pictures.

Ruska being cute.

Me being artsy.

Ruska doing yoga.

Byeeee humans!

-Phoebe

Ruska the bread-thief!

Hello humans.

I am slightly confused. Mommy might have a split personality. She can't decide whose side to be on. Mine or Ruska's.
So while Ruska was whining about the food situation and making plans on how to escape or not, cause it's to scary, I enjoy it more and more. Finally enough food and Ruska is not stealing it from me. That's awesome. Today Ruska was especially whiny about not having food when she wanted to have food, so when Mommy left to buy groceries, Ruska started to look for food on her own. She was sniffing around on the kitchen counter, where we are not supposed to be. As she always tells me what not to do, I told her that she should come down, cause Mommy would be angry if she found her up there. But as Mommy was not home, Ruska did not care. Then she stuck her nose into the bag with the bread and pulled a piece of the bread out. She knows herself how she is not supposed to eat human food and how cats should not eat bread because it's useless for our nutrition. She always brags about how she knows that and all, you know?
She took the piece, jumped off the counter and began to eat it. I told her to stop and that she would get into very big trouble. She just laughed and said that Mommy would think it was me anyways, as I am always doing the bad things. That's not fair. When Mommy came home I was very scared that I would get into trouble. After all, Ruska is right, usually it is me doing something stupid.
Ruska walked past me and smirked very self-assured. Then Mommy started screaming cause she saw the half-eaten piece of bread on the kitchen floor. She turned to me and asked if it was me. Usually, when I did something wrong, I run away and hide until she is not so very angry anymore. But I was innocent this time so I just looked at her with the most innocent huge eyes I managed to make. She then turned to Ruska and Ruska suddenly wasn't smirky anymore at all. She almost hyperventilated and looked at Mommy with huge panic-filled eyes. Even I am not that obvious when I am guilty of something. Also, Mommy found some white fur on the bread, so she knew for sure it was Ruska.

She said we wouldn't get any lunch now and I was very afraid.... I was hungry and innocent and it would not be fair to deny me my lunch, just cause Ruska did something bad. But Mommy realized quite quickly that she faced the risk of Ruska stealing more food, so we got our lunch. When Ruska left (obviously her belly was full of bread) with the  bowl half full and I was still hungry after I emptied mine, I again ate a bit of Ruska's food. Mommy shooed me away, like she usually did with Ruska. She never shooed me away from food, cause I never eat too much. But today I did apparently and she said one chubby cat in the household is enough. Hmm.

-Phoebe

Crime victim: bread.

Parachute-Ruska

Hello humans!

Oh, boy, what a weird devil's day! Daddy was home, you know? Daddy is usually always at work at devil's day, but today he was home. In fact, he was the one deviling today, Mommy only needed to mop. They were gone for a while during the day to look at animals. I really don't understand that. After all, they have two perfectly fine and very watchable animals right here. Hello. *waves*
In the evening they were planning to watch other Finnish humans. Or something like that. When they came home, Mommy didn't feel too well. She was whining around and lying on the sofa. She looked pretty much like Ruska actually. Hihi. She said she had ice coffee and it didn't do any good to her stomach. Ice coffee. That sounds delicious. I ate ice cream once. No, actually twice. But I only got a wee bit, cause Mommy said it is not good for my? RIGHT - stomach! And now she has a lot of ice cream with coffee herself and then she gets all confused about why her stomach does not like it? Really, I don't understand humans.

Ruska is planning her escape since yesterday. She does not like the new regulation of less food. She made plans all night. I think they involve a parachute. I am not so sure if a parachuting Ruska is the best idea. She is even afraid of the mop, I bet parachuting is much more scary.

Here is a part of Ruska's plan. She drew it herself.

I just hope the heaven thing is not meant literally. I mean, she does not even have a parachute. She says she is going to take care of it. Oh, god.

I have to say I like the new food regulation. As we get smaller portions I manage to eat mine all up. Ruska, too, obviously. Then we can't eat before we get more. And by then I am hungry again and manage the smaller portion again. So in the end I always get all the food that is meant for me and Ruska can't steal any. She really should lose some weight anyways. I wonder if the parachute would even hold her. If she had one.

The only thing that worries me is the warning sign next to the food bowls. It looks like this:

In case you can't clearly see it, it says
"Planning on...
...peeing somewhere?
...stealing treats?
...climbing somewhere you don't belong?

...destroying something?

...scratching Mommy?
...making a mess?
THINK TWICE"
and then there is the picture of a cat which is nailed to the wall through its ears! D:
Ruska says the cat in the picture is supposed to me be. There is some resemblance... maybe... but that is only by accident I am sure.

Last but not least: here is my awesome selfie from yesterday!

#hipstercat #yoln

(yoln is not a typo, cats don't live only once, suckaaaas!)

Byeee!
-Pheebs

Today I ate a pea!

Hello humans!!

It is me again, finally, after Ruska has put her hairy ass in front of the machine all the last times. It might be that one won't hear of her anymore anytime soon.
I was very close to tell her about the thing with the Ruska song, but then she noticed it said something along the lines of "published in 2005"... she was quiet for a while and counted something on her claws and then she seemed to realize that she must have been born quite a while after 2005. Vet guesses somewhen in 2010, which is 5 years after 2005.

But I can't blame her, I remember when I was still a tiny wee little kitten and had arrived and Mommy's and Daddy's and not even Ruska was there yet. I was there for a few days and Mommy was watching a TV show and I heard someone calling "Phoebe!" and "Pheebs!" and I was excited, cause someone called me and I ran to the living room and then I saw that there was a Phoebe in the TV show! At first I thought she stole my name, even though I had my name for only a few days at that time. I was nameless for almost 3 months, you know? I was only "the black girl" when I lived with my real fluffy Mommy and my real siblings. I think that name is a little racist. Anyways, I understand Ruska. One gets excited when hearing the own name somewhere publicly.

But lets get to today's adventures!
Today I ate a pea! It was small and green and yummy.
Mommy had a bowl with many green things in it. She sat on the sofa. I sat next to her. She noticed me sniffing on her bowl, I often do that, but she only smiled and said that "I won't like that anyways". So she thought she did not need to have an eye on me, so she watched humans floating over the funny, strange white stuff... or something like that. I like to watch those movies, too, we watched them last spring often. There is a Finnish team and also a German team and also other teams.
Today there was a Finnish team in a movie with a Russian team and Mommy laughed evilly all the time. The Finnish team won the movie. When she was eating the green stuff she watched a Czech and an America movie. It is still going, but Mommy is annoyed cause the Czech team will lose the movie. I don't understand the fuzz, not even the sense, it is just fun watching. Anyways, while she watched Czech and American humans, I stole a pea. She said it was one when she noticed. She said it's not too healthy for me, even though it is healthy for humans. Anyways, I liked it. I would have stolen another one, but she suddenly had an eye on me.

Mommy wants to speak a new language, too. It is called French. It sounds funny.
I don't want Mommy to learn French, because I won't understand her then.
When I told her, she tried to learn French together with me.
"Je m´apelle Phoebe! Je suis une chatte noire!"
I don't know if that is correct. Mommy's friend has two cats, Tommi and Tina, and they speak Finnish and English and French. Maybe I should ask Tommi and Tina to teach me French.
Ruska might be French, cause many of the sounds she makes when she's miserable sound like French words. No hard feelings.

Now I will soon watch the show with the many human women and the human man without hair and they all love him and hate each other. It's amusing.

Byeeee!

Pheebs

I'M FAMEOWS!

Humans! Humans!
Sensational news!
I made it!
I am famous!
I am an internationally known cat!

Someone wrote a SONG about me!
ABOUT ME! There is no doubt!
The song is called Ruska. I am called Ruska.

I want to thank Mommy and Daddy and Phoebe!
And Grandma and Paule and the Burrito friend of Mommy, cause they always believed in me.
Thanks also to Tardar Sauce, the Grumpy Cat, and Bob, the Streetcat, for being my inspirations.
Also, everyone else. Thank you.
I am deeply touched.

Here is the song about me.

Mommy and Phoebe are jealous. I think.
I told them right away when I found out. They weren't even excited. Can you believe it?
They looked at each other and at me and at each other and Phoebe asked Mommy if "they should tell me".
Ah, what can one do?
There will be always enviers.