Full-loafing, half-loafing and Ruska's alter ego...

Hello humans!

Lately Ruska talks a lot about cat school.
She went to cat school before she came to live with us. Also before she was pregnant and a Mommy. I don't believe cat school exists and neither does Mommy, but Ruska insists.
She says all outdoor cats that don't have human parents go to cat school. And later on they can teach it to little cats that were luckier in life and had human parents from birth on.

Ruska's favorite subject in cat school was loafing.
She is very good at loafing, I have to say. I envy her a bit.
She taught me how to do a full-loaf. You need to tuck all legs and paws neatly under your belly. Then you wrap your tail around your side, very closely. Then you look like a loaf.
I can only do a full-loaf. Ruska can also do half-loafs. Half-loafs are divided into front-loafs, back-loafs and side-loafs. Side-loafs are divided into right-side-loafs and left-side-loafs.
Theoretically they are easy. You tuck only two legs under your belly. Either both front paws, or both back paws, or both left paws or both right paws.
Ruska can do all the loafs very well. Front loafing is her specialty.

Ruska also has an alter ego.
We found out about that just lately.
Her alter ego is called Seppo and he is the opposite of her. He's very athletic, does not like beefsteak and is a big fan of the vacuum cleaner.
Ruska doesn't like him.
I told Mommy and Daddy that it was Seppo who peed on the floor, not me.
It is also probably Seppo who scratches the wallpaper of the walls and plays with his own poop all over the place. That's not us, no.
Mommy didn't believe me.
Bummer.

It's my birthday soon, by the way.
On Saturday.
You have to buy me presents. I'm turning 2.
Mommy said she found a present which is double-ridiculous. Ridiculous AND ridiculous expensive.
She isn't sure if I can have it yet.
I hope I can.

Byeee!
-Phoebe

p.s. This is me trying a 3/4-loaf. Ruska says it's not a thing. Seppo is impressed.

#Phoebe #cat #black #1/4bengal #hipstercat #meow
#cute #pretty #fun #Monday #catporn #catsofinstagram #instacats #kissa
#katze #pet #fur #sexygirl #cuddly #instapets #petporn

Mommy took it with her Instagram. I don't know what it is. But I know it's a place with many hashtags.
Mommy says petporn sounds wrong and that I am not a sexy girl. Cause I am a cat. That is true, but I saw on Instagram that people lie. They put many wrong hashtags only so more people will click the picture and like it. For example they might post a picture of a tractor and write "#cutebaby". Yes.

The one where Phoebe almost died

Phoebe almost died today. It is true. I am not making this up.

The day started like any day. I wanted some breakfast and I needed to bite Mommy's foot a bit cause I hoped to get it faster. That never works. All I might get is a soft kick in my rear.
Phoebe was sleeping on Mommy's belly in the morning. She never does that. When I asked her why she would do that she said that she heard a song called "If tomorrow never comes." that says that you should show your loved ones that you loved them before it's too late.
Who would have known it was so close to the ultimate disaster? This day I mean?

Mommy and Daddy had bought lots of food for us and then they made food and I got some ham from Daddy when Mommy didn't look, even though it's very bad and everything seemed normal.
Mommy and Daddy watched a movie.
Then Mommy went to call grandpa.
This is when it happened.
Daddy, Phoebe and me were in the sofaroom. Phoebe was playing with a bug, but suddenly she ran away from it and said "ouchie ouchie". She never did that before. It's weird.
Daddy looked at her and at the window and at her and then he grabbed her and screamed to Mommy to get tweezers cause Phoebe was stung by a bee.
WHAT IS A BEE? IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE!!!!!!

Mommy put the phone with grandpa in it aside and helped holding Phoebe down. After she explained to grandpa what had just happened and after Daddy screamed at her to effing help her already.
Phoebe was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if it was because of the bee-thing or because she was held. She really doesn't like being held.

Then they let her go when they had managed to pull the stingiethingie out of Phoebe's paw. They said it has poison. OH GOOOOD.

Daddy went back to the sofaroom. Mommy kept talking to grandpa.
Phoebe was sittin in the hallway and was shaking and mumbling things and looked very frightened.
It's the worst thing if you're the older cat. So helpless. I didn't know what to do. How could I have made things better? I carefully licked her fur a little.
Mommy laughed at it. IT WASN'T FUNNY. I thought Phoebe might die.
Mommy googled if Phoebe could die.
She found out that Phoebe could only die if she was very allergic to the sting of the bee, which, as we found out, actually was the sting of a wasp. Mommy and Daddy mixed it up, cause bees lose their stingiethingie after they stung. And the stingiethingie was in Phoebe's paw so it must have been a bee. But it wasn't.
Anymeow - I went to avenge Phoebe when I found out the wasp was still up and running. Daddy tried to catch it in the living room. Daddy screamed and shooed me away when I came to help. Twice.
Pffff.

Phoebe didn't die after all.
Her front right paw is much bigger than before. Even bigger than mine.
It looks funny. She says it itches much but doesn't hurt. She's playing and eating as if nothing had happened.

This is Phoebe's paw 20 minutes after the sting.

4 hours later it is even bigger.
Mommy can't stop laughing.
How mean.
(It really is funny actually.)

-Ruska

Why does nobody love me?

Hello humans!!

It has been almost two weeks again since we posted here. Ruska says it was actually yesterday and the blog was just counting all wrong. Mommy said it had really been two weeks. That is rather shocking. Time goes fast. We have the same problem as after we moved - Mommy keeps looking for works and that's why she needs to be on this machine all the time.
That means we can't write anything.
When Mommy is at work, we don't really know how to get the machine started.

I want some work as well. Mostly cause I wanna have a holiday, just like Daddy.
If you don't work, you can't have a holiday. That is very sad. Holidays seem to be an awesome thing.

Daddy keeps getting visitors as it seems.
Mommy only gets her Mommy, our grandma.
Tomorrow Mommy has a holiday, too, and she will meet grandma.
I like grandma, but grandma doesn't like me. She likes Ruska much more. Everyone likes Ruska much more.
That's not fair. Ruska is chubby and weird and paranoid.
I am slim and athletic and fun and cute. Why does not anyone like me?
When I was still a tiny little cat everyone made "awww" when they saw me.
Now nobody does that anymore.
I think it is probably because Ruska has many colors. Not many cats have many colors.
But many cats are black. I sometimes heard someone say that black cats are boring.
Some even think black cats bring bad luck.
Our brother Mikko is black as well. Nobody dislikes him though. Probably cause there isn't a cat with many colors around him to compare.
I heard when someone doesn't like someone else cause of their color, that is called racism and it's bad.
Maybe I should dye myself.
Like a rainbow.
Then I would look more special than Ruska.

Look how much more cute and special than Ruska I was when I was little.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. That means there will be the TV show with the one girl and many boys that want to be in love with the girl.
There used to be the same with many girls and one boy, but it wasn't so much fun.
Mommy, Ruska and me are always watching it and decide which of the boys we would want to be in love with, if we were that girl in the show.
Ruska votes for Aurelio. Mommy really doesn't like him. Me neither. Mommy says he's fake and his arrogance annoys her. I agree. Ruska loves how calm and slow he does everything he does. Typical for her. She also likes the doctor, but he is sometimes too excited.
I vote for Manuel. Mommy really doesn't like him. Ruska even less. He is always all over the place and Ruska says he would probably give her a heart attack.
Mommy can't decide who she'd want. Either Marvin or Tommy. But probably she will stay with Daddy, I guess.

Lat but not least: some pictures.

Ruska being cute.

Me being artsy.

Ruska doing yoga.

Byeeee humans!

-Phoebe

He's just not that into you!

Hello humans!

I have to write here, cause Ruska is busy. Busy writing a postcard to be exact. A postcard to Jekku.
It all started with her finding out that Jekku's girlfriend is actually a boyfriend. Or rather boy friend. Guy friend. You know where I am getting.
Even though I told her they might be gay, too.
Gay is when a boycat likes a boycat or a girlcat likes a girlcat.
I know that. Mommy taught me. It involves rainbows, too, but I didn't quite get that part.

Ruska said that's nonsense.
She saw the signs, she says.
Well, I'd guess the signs might have been a bit blurry with all them hearts flying out of her eyes you know?

Anyways, she decided to write to Jekku now.
I doubt he remembers her name.

The problem is... we mastered the typing with our pawsies, you just have to be careful to hit the right key. But you can always correct it if you by accident his many at once.
Real writing is not that easy. It started with Ruska not being able to hold the pen. She tried it with one paw, with two paws, with her mouth and her tail, but the pen just won't stay the way it needs to stay for color to come out of it.
Probably it's better that way, cause even if Ruska could write the postcard, she couldn't send it, as she does not know Jekku's address.
She is convinced that it's enough if she addresses it to "Jekku" and throws it out of the window.
I told her it doesn't work like that, but she said I'm just a silly little kitten that knows nuthin.
And then people think that I am the immature one of us. *sigh*

Just so you know if Ruska never writes anything to the blog ever again - she'll be busy trying to master the pen-writing.

So long, hoomans!

-Pheebs

Heat and prisons and friends!

Hello?
HELLO?
Humans?
Do you copy?
HUMANS?
DO YOU... does this work?
DO YOU COPY?
DO. YO- what was that, Phoebe?
Oh. Oh, okay. We are free. Okay. So you do copy.

Hello humans!

Please excuse the confusion, but we were just imprisoned.
You must understand my anxiety.

We were imprisoned, yes, yes indeed, by - and now wait for it - none other than our very own Mommy.
YES! It's unbelievable, isn't it?
She gave us many treats and we were very happy and then we were suddenly in the litterboxroom and the door was closed and we were inside and couldn't get out. We could only hear Mommy saying something about being "so very sorry" and then screaming for "airairair" and then we could hear her opening the windows. All the windows. They rarely open all the windows, because Mommy is worried that we might jump out of all the windows. When they are open.
I put my paw through the tiny space under the door. There was a lot of wind and I could hear Mommy running around.
Phoebe was lying down on the little carpet. The one she usually pees on. She said there was no sense in trying to get out and probably Mommy just wanted some bit of air and then we would get out again.
HOW COULD SHE EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT....??? I mean.... okay, she was right. But still... how could we have known? It seemed like the certain death.
But Phoebe was right and we got out and Mommy poured many more treats on the floor and laughed nervously and said something about "no reason to be offended" and "best Mommy ever, right?" Phoebe agreed. I asked her if she really forgave Mommy just that easily.
But Phoebe had already forgotten what Mommy had done to us and happily ate her treats.
Nobody is sane in here.

Things are weird, too, cause Daddy is at home.
Usually, Daddy is not at home.
Mommy used to be at home. During the day I mean. That was when she needed the work. I hope Daddy still has work now and does not need some again. Daddy calls it holiday.
The funny thing is... he isn't actually home. He is home, but then he isn't.
There are many friends of Daddy here lately. I asked Mommy if she didn't have any friends, cause there was only that one friend and then Mommy's cousin. She told me to shut it or I'd never get beefsteak again.
Unfaaaaair.
Then Mommy said that our friends neither ever visited us. That is actually true.
Well, granny died, unfortunately, so she can't come. But Jekku didn't show since we moved. Neither did Casey. Not even Mikko, our brother, even though he lives so close now!
Mommy said it takes manymuch time and money to visit, so people can't do that just that easily.
And that she hasn't visited anyone and neither did we and we couldn't blame noone.
Maybe I should write Jekku and Casey a postcard. Well, maybe not Casey, he didn't like me. Phoebe can write to him. I should write to Jekku, I heard rumors there is a new girl in his life. That's how fast he forgot about me. I'm heartbroken.
I will only date beefsteak from now on. Until I die.

Last but not least, here is a picture of me on the new blanket that Mommy got from a friend.

Pretty, huh?

Byeee humans!
-Ruska

Pizza Day!

It's pizza day.
Daddy and Mommy decided to order pizza today.
Ruska said that she wanted some too. She wanted some with beefsteak on top and the bottom also made of beefsteak. I said I wanted the same, but she said I could not have the same, because it was her idea. That's mean. Then Daddy suggested tuna pizza. I said I wanted that, but Ruska said I couldn't have it, cause it was Daddy's idea. Then I said I want a four season cat pizza. That is a pizza with crust made from dry cat food and then you spread cat pudding on it and then you put tuna, salmon, shrimps and cooked chicken meat there. And cheese on top. Ruska turned red and purple and green and then said she wanted that, too.
THAT'S NOT FAIR! It was MY idea!
But I am not sure if there will be any pizza for anyone, cause Daddy is driving a car in the machine and is talking to himself, I think. At least I don't hear anyone else talk. First I thought he talked to me, but he said things like "Lets go shoot him." and I don't even have a gun. Hmh.
Mommy keeps saying pizza is bad and will make us all even fatter than we are.
That's not fair, only Ruska is fat, so only Ruska should not get pizza.
Maybe I should pee somewhere, maybe they would order pizza then?

I also tried to dye my fur. I wanted to leave my head and back and tip of my tail black and then dye one red stripe starting from my chest going all the way around my sides and my butt and back to the front to my chest and then dye my legs and my belly yellow.
I would look like the flags on the cars and everywhere. I would be a walking blackredyellow and everyone would love me here. I guess.
It appears everyone here loves everything blackredyellow.
Mommy says that shit will go down tonight.
Blackredyellow will play against bluewhitebluewithsomeyellow.
And if blackredyellow wins, we won't be able to sleep all night, cause humans have no brains. Or something similar.
If they don't win, the country will be blown up and we all die.
I guess.

Oh well.

I want that pizza now.

-Phoebe

Here's me and Ruska being cute.

I don't like trees.

Hello humans!

Still not much beefsteak in sight. We got some pudding though. That's something, right?
I mean, it's real pudding only for cats. Humans can't eat it. Cats can. Mommy says that it is really extremely super unhealthy, but once in a while we should be allowed to eat a little bit of unhealthy.
I wonder if beefsteak is unhealthy?
I mean, it must be, because we get it so rarely. Then again, Mommy once said that beefsteak is very good for cats. That does not make any sense at all!

More news: the horrible car is gone! JACKPOT!
I totally got around sitting in it even. That's good.
Phoebe is sad about the car being gone.... she is worried she might not be able to ever go to the grim reeper again. What's the heck is wrong with that little lunatic?
Why would she even....?
Oh, nevermind.

Also.... the ballthing is still going on much.
It appears the blackredyellow ones that everyone who lives here has to find awesome are doing pretty well. I heard people say that they will be the master of the world. Or something like that.
Anyways, I think that's something special. Not everyone can be master of the world. What a title. If there was a master of the cat world, that would be me.

Mommy's arm looks funny, too. She sticks gluey things onto it and say they will heal it. Or something. She can't really move it cause she fell off a tree. Or something.
Now she is looking over my shoulder and tells me I am not supposed to write that she fell off a tree, because that is how rumors are started according to her.
Well, she did say something with trees and falling, so that must be it. What more options can there be?
Anyways, I never liked trees. When I was still and outside cat I made a hhhuuuge circle around them. Some of my friends climbed at them. One got stuck once. Humans had to come with portable stairs and help him down. Ahhh, good old times!
But trees, really, no thanks!

Mommy also got herself some new fur.
You know how humans feel the need to continuously change their fur. In the morning, in the evening, depending on the weather or what they plan on doing.... so complicated.
But I like the new fur Mommy bought today. It's evening fur. The back legs have cats on the knees and on the belly there is a Polaroid photo of three cats with some hashtags under them. So basically, the fur looks much like me and our blog. Mommy said it reminded her of me, so she bought it. That's so cute.

Goodbye, humans!

Beefsteak? Beefsteak!

Beefsteak?
BEEFSTEAK!

I love beefsteak!
Daddy bought us some beefsteak. He promised that some days ago and he did indeed. But of course there was a snag to it - we could have it for ourselves. He ate the biggest part. When I complained he told me that compared to our bodysize I ate a much bigger amount than him. Humans never understand! Humans are omnivores, you know? That means they eat everything. Cats are carnivores. That means we eat meat.
So logically, as humans eat everything, they need to eat a bit less of everything. We eat only meat, so there needs to be a big amount. That's obvious, isn't it?

Luckily we got other food than beefsteak, too. Just in case. There can't be enough food.
Apparently in our petfoodstore of trust there was a discount on out catfood of trust. Also, Daddy has to give away the very dangerous car soon. Which is good, cause cars are very dangerous. But it's also bad, cause without a car they can't bring as much catfood at once.
Today they did bring as much as fitted in the car...probably. It was a castle of food! Literally.

Told you. A castle.

Daddy and Mommy bought new ringelingthings, too.
Daddy's is a whole new one, like very different from the old one. Mommy's is a bit similar to the old one.

Phoebe and me tried to talk them into buying us ringelingthings as well. I heard people need ringelingthings in case of emergencies. So if they die or have some other emergencies, they can ringeling to someone and be rescued. I need that.
Mommy said, if I had a ringelingthing for emergencies, I'd call her every 2 minutes soon as the foodbowl is empty. Well, duh! That's the definition isn't it? "For emergencies." Humans are weird indeed.

Here is Mommy's ringelingthing.

Daddy can take pretty pictures with his ringelingthing! He can chose that only some colors show in the picture and some don't. He took a picture of me and I need to say, I find myself exceptionally eye-pleasing in this one.

Look at me:

Did you look?
Ain't i gorgeous?
#calicoisthenewblack

So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

Am I nuts?

Mommy thinks I'm nuts.
It's official.

But I am very normal, really. It's just.... I needed to have a look at the paper that Mommy brought home from work. There were lots of foods listed in the paper and Mommy said she looks at it to decide what foods to eat at work during the week. Turns out, as Mommy got so weird to not eat meat anymore, there aren't that many choices. There's just one food without meat every day. So Mommy didn't really decide what to eat. She rather just looked at what she had to eat and was excited about it. The foods are good at her work, she says. So I wanted to taste and I started licking the paper.
The paper didn't taste like much. More like paper. But I like the taste of paper so I felt the need to squeak after every lick. Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick*
Mommy found that hopelessly amusing.
Then she said I am probably nuts.
I am not.

Because I didn't wanna be nuts, I went to the corner and started eating some wallpaper.
Mommy didn't find that quite as amusing.
In fact, she screamed at me. Can't humans ever decide what they want?
She also pointed at her eyes with her fingers and then pointed at me.
And she said she was watching me.

This is a bit how she looked like.

-Pheebs

The thing with the ice cream...

I am highly upset.
I almost fell out of the window, cause Mommy was almost dying. Or something like that.
Mommy and Daddy were gone - once again. When they came back, they had ice cream.
Did I mention I LOVE ice cream?
They ate the ice cream by the open window, but Mommy's ice cream tried to kill her so she ran away and Daddy ran after her.
I took the chance to have a look. I stuck my nose out of the window. My front paws were on the sill outside, my back paws on the sill inside. I was perfectly fine. Phoebe started screaming that Mommy didn't want that and that Mommy told her that if we put our paws out of the window we will die.
Pffff and she says I am the scared cat?
Then Mommy came back and started to scream that I was gonna jump and die. Duuuuuuuuuuude.
Daddy shooed me off the window.

Mommy offered us some ice cream then. Did I mention I LOVE ice cream?
I was a bit suspicious, it tried to kill her after all.... but I wanted to try anyways.
I smelled it, but it didn't smell so nice. I am sure it wasn't even ice cream. Cause ice cream never smells bad. I love ice cream. Did I mention that?

Then she offered Phoebe the ice cream. Phoebe screamed something like "ICE CREAM OF DEATH!" but sniffed on it still.
She didn't dare to try it either. I don't know if it was because Mommy almost died of it or because it really didn't smell like ice cream.
It was cookies ice cream. And cherry-banana ice cream. I never tried cherry-banana but cookies are delicious. Still, I'm sure that wasn't ice cream. I miss the good Finnish ice cream.
It's called Jättis. It's my favourite and Phoebe's too.

Ice cream of death that isn't ice cream.

As Phoebe told you there was the thing wth the ball and the feet yesterday.
I really don't get the hype.
Mommy was screaming a lot.
She was talking about a Jogi and a Klose and about people being too slow and other people being too fast.
I don't think the blackwhiteredyellows won. They didn't lose either. How is that possible? I don't know.
I want ice cream.

It's MY blackredandyellow, only miiine!

Here's Phoebe being all model-like with the blackredandyellow.

- Ruskis

So many worldcupz...

Hallo humans!!!

There is a worldcupz. Did you know that?
I mean....there was another one a while back with people dressed in blue and white and also other colors. But the blue and white ones were the best according to Mommy and Daddy. They are sliding around on fun white stuff or something like that and need to win something. The blue and white ones almost won, but not quite still.

Now there is green stuff instead of white stuff and the balls are much bigger.
It's called football, cause you kick the ball with the foot. I think. Daddy got a tiny football the other day and when he brought it home I tried to play with it. I kicked it with my paw. Pawball. But it was still too big, even though it is smaller than the worldcupz one and it kept rolling under my stomach and then I rolled over it and fell over.
Also, now the sticks are missing, cause they kick with the feet and they aren't so blue and white. I saw some blue and white ones and I cheered, but that was wrong apparently. I need to cheer for the ones with the white and black stuff.... and everything that is black, red and golden.
Mommy has a black, red and golden flag. It's lying on the floor. Other people have black red and golden flags on their cars. I saw them when looking outside from the window.

Mommy also has a necklace with black red and golden flowers. She put it on Ruska. Ruska didn't like it. Like really totally not.

Here is the unamused Ruska with Mommy and lots of white and black and black, red and gold.

Many other things happened, too. I went to the nice lady! It was a blast! I could drive with the red car that Daddy has. It's not his still, but I could drive with it.
The nice lady looked at me and at my pee. And she said that she really does not understand what is wrong with me. Hihi. That's because nothing is, probably. I feel fine.

Mommy said that maybe she needs to take me to the nice lady again and then the nice lady can look at my blood, too. And maybe she can then see what is wrong. I am not sure. I still feel fine.

Now I have to mentally prepare to look at the black and white humans kicking their footballs. Yes.
I promise I will write more often here again. Maybe. Or maybe not.
But Ruska will. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Bye!

-Phoebs

The thing with the car...

Howdie humans!

Ruska wanted to write this, but she is too busy trying to get rid of the stress rash she got from Facebook. I didn't know Facebook was that dangerous! It's all our uncle's fault! Ruska read something about a car that Daddy bough for his brother, who is our uncle. He just wanted to say that those news were missing from Ruska's blog post she published yesterday. He commented that on Facebook. Ruska read it there. I asked Mommy why she didn't tell us in the first place. After all, cars are very super exciting! Mommy said that she knows that Ruska really doesn't like cars. And I can't keep my tiny mouth shut, so telling me would not have helped either. And she really didn't want Ruska to get a stress rash. Well, so much for that. lol.
I asked Ruska why she got so stressed about a car. Not even our brother Mikko is so very scared of cars and he got hit by one once. I know that cars can be dangerous, all right. My cat Mom told me to always look left and right before crossing the street. But there are no streets in our flat. And only very small cars. So small, they can drive right through under my belly. Hihi. Maybe not Ruska's, cause her legs are pretty short. But anyways... No dangerous cars in this flat.
Ruska said, cars are never up to any good. Usually, she said, cars mean trips to the grim reaper or awful adventures. I really did not quite get what the problem with that is supposed to be. Nice lady visits and awesome adventures are great fun!
And now I am stuck with writing this, even though I was like super-busy myself. I just sat very comfortably on the pillow bed by the window and watched the sky getting greyer and greyer and bluer and then greyer again. I also watched drops of water running down the glass. Every now and then I made eye contact with a little bug outside on the window sill. I lost that now because of this nonsense. Most likely he already flew away. All because of Ruska's rash. Unbelievable.

Also, as awesome as the new space is, I figured one major problem already.... while you can speed right through from the kitchen to the sofaroom and back, the curve between the bedroom and the sofaroom is a mediocre problem. Me and Ruska crashed into walls and door frames and shoes many times already. The shoes are directly IN the curve and usually all over the place after we played catch. But that's really not our problem.

By the way, big news and a warning: don't take clothes down from the drying rack. Apparently it's forbidden. That's a bummer. And again - how could I have known?? I know I am not supposed to pee in the kitchen, so I didn't. Instead I played a little with the clothes on the drying rack. They were swinging nicely when I poked them with my paw. Some fell down. Didn't think it was bad. Mommy takes them down at some point anyways and she doesn't even like taking them down, so I guessed it was good I helped.
I was wrong. But at least she didn't get angry. She said at least I didn't pee anywhere and that's good.

Drying racks are useless anyways. And so fragile! I just wanted to check if that Mommy's bag that I had peed on was still smelling like pee. Cause if yes I would have tried to wash it again, so she wouldn't be angry. It didn't smell anymore. It smelled like "Summerfresh". Also, the drying rack fell over. With me. Happened already once this night while playing. Luckily, said Mommy, it was only the one with the bags and some bedsheets... so not everything fell off when it fell over. I think she might have been more annoyed if I had tried to climb onto the one in the sofaroom with all the human fur on it.

One never stops learning!

So long,
Phööbi

Many spaces!

Hello hoomans!

It's been a while. Many things happened, I was too busy processing all the information in my tiny, furry head, so I really didn't have a free head for blog postings. Phoebe said she wants to read the story of "How I met my humans".... my version, I mean. I don't know. Probably it would bore everyone. I'm not that good of a story teller, you know? I am better with being... well, fluffy and awesome.
Also, there are more important things happening!

A friend of Mommy's was here for some days. We could sleep next to her on the sofa, which was a bed, so that was fun. Then Mommy and Daddy both got very sick and didn't need to go to work and were lying on the sofa, which was also a bed then, so that was fun, too. We watched a lot of the TV with the weird people that talk weirdly and that kill each other and there are horses and a tiny guy and an asshole (sorry, I am not supposed to use that word), but the asshole (sorry) died and that was fun. It's about a throne, too, I think.

Then we watched a show with many hoomans who are sick and one hooman grim reaper who wants to heal them but then he doesn't, because he is grumpyhuman. He walks on a stick and he is what Mommy calls "sarcastic". I find him entertaining. He reminds me of myself. The show is about a house, too, if I got that right.

I also had some quality times with Mommy. We watched a show together that Phoebe and Daddy don't want to watch. There are humans having superabilities or something. There is one that can smell and see very good and one can make other humans do whatever she tells them too. I'd like to have that skill, it would solve the food problem for good. There is also a guy who is weird. Mommy says he is weird because he has a psychological thing called autism and that is veryvery hard to act that and that the human who acts it is really good. She wants to marry him, too, I think.


Phoebe was peeing much again. The other day she peed on all of Mommy's bags at once. Mommy told Daddy she would give Phoebe away and she cried and seemed serious. But later she was hugging and cuddling Phoebe and said she would never give her away, even if she peed on everything.

I had the feeling Phoebe was a little unhappy. I don't know why, but she wasn't purring much. I mean, she is never purring very much, I am the famous diesel engine in this household, but still. She was like not purring at all. She seems happier now, because (and that was supposed to be the actual content of this blog post) things changed very muchy.

Some days ago Daddy and Mommy carried big pieces of wood to the flat. It was exhausting I think. We had to wait in the kitchen so we only heard them cursing and then there were pieces of wood, so I did the math.
They wanted to build a box out of it... or something. But they couldn't cause something was missing.
But then they finally started building it and on Friday and yesterday they were building a lot. Mommy got a small breakdown because of the chaos. I think she might be allergic to chaos. I should take her to the grim reaper soonish. Daddy said it's because she realizes we live here now and won't go back to the old place anytime soon. I don't know. They carried much more stuff yesterday while we were waiting in the kitchen once again. This time from the flat to out of the flat.
And then when it was very late already the bedroom was there!! There was something reminding me of a bedroom before when we were allowed to take a look every now and then, but now it is a real one! There is many spaces and no chaos and the door is always open for kittycat inspection. I very much like this. Mommy put a pillow and a towel on the window sill and Phoebe sleeps there all the time and loves it and she is purring more than I have ever heard her purring.
Daddy says maybe she won't pee anymore now. I doubt it.
Now I will go back to lie on the bed for a while. Who knows, maybe they will take it away from us again some time soon.
Mommy and Daddy are watching the TV with the men trying to win against other men in some game. It's Russia and Finland right now and Mommy says Russians can't play fair and Finns can't play good at the moment and that she probably should forget about Finland and support Germany for this world cup, cause even they are a less lost case.

Byeeee!


P.S. Happy Meowmmy's Day, Mommy!

The bedroom and our bed and the new box with the human furs!

Phoebe and me on our bed this morning.

Phoebe on the pillowbed on the window sill.

How I met my Humans...

Hallo humans!!

Craaaazy times, I tell you.
Mommy is working now and Daddy is working still. We are alone at home during the day time. I thought that means we will have more time to blog, but we really don't. Most time goes to waste because I need to calculate food amounts. With Mommy and Daddy gone all day we have to be careful not to eat all the food up right away, cause otherwise we won't have any all day.
I found out the best way is to eat nothing all day and then loop everything down when Daddy comes home, so he will give us more.
Phoebe peed around a bit, because she thought maybe Mommy wouldn't leave her alone then. But Mommy still did, so Phoebe doesn't pee around anymore.
She also converted to Christicatnity. Some people that call themselves witnesses of some guy whose name I forgot where visiting the neighbors lately. Phoebe sat behind the door and listened to the conversation. It was about a dude called jesus who is our saviour and some stuff like that. Has something to do with a thing called Easter, too, because he died or something... and then he didn't... or... I don't know, really. But Phoebe believes everything she hears and she got all excited about that Jesus and that God and now she prays every night. Very loudly. I can't sleep then.
She prays for food (I approve), shiny fur, lots of toys, not to have pee-incidents, Mommy coming home from work sooner, many birds to watch, free cat-lives refills and so on... Well, I am sure it's just a phase.

But we had another idea for this blog... there is a show called "How I met your mother"... it's quite a hype as it seems. Basically it's some dude telling his children about how he met their mother. It takes ages.
Anyways, Phoebe wanted to do that, too, so we will.

-Ruska


Part I, how Phoebe met her humans, et voila:


"How I met my Humans
pt. I: Phoebe

I met my humans on a cold and rainy autumn day. I was living back at my very old home with my real Mom and my Mom's human Mommy and my siblings and a dog. I was small and cute and fluffy. I did not have a name yet, I was just "the black girl". Sometimes I got mixed up with my brother, wo was black, too, but he had some more white than me and also, he really wasn't a girl. I have two other brothers who are gingers and one striped sister.
It was around noon and I was very busy playing with my siblings... those, who were left. One of my ginger brothers had already been picked up by his humans a few days earlier. Our Mom had told us before that we would soon get into new families, as all our older siblings did as well. Our Mom had many babies, she was used to them leaving. For us it was a bit scary but also very exciting. I very well remember the last time I saw my brother, while his new human child girl carried him to a carrier box on her arms. He looked at us all scared and still a bit happy to be the very first one to start his adventure. His new family looked nice.
Sometimes, our Mom said, they don't look nice. We all wanted a nice looking human family.
That day I had just hidden under the sofa with the left ginger brother when the doorbell rang and our Mom's human Mommy went to open. We heard her say "Oh, you come to pick up your cat!"... and we all got excited. Who's turn would it be? Would they look nice? Who would they be?
I watched from under the sofa with my brother when they came in. The girl reminded me much of our brother who had left some days earlier. Scared and happy and with red hair. The guy had blonde hair and carried a carrier box. They looked nice. My brother called dibs immediately. I told him that that wasn't how it works. Our Mom's Mommy said "Yours is..." and started looking around the room. She looked at our sister and our black brother in the corner... no, it wasn't them... then under the sofa. She reached out and my brother ran towards her to be picked up, but she held him back and grabbed me instead. Jackpot! Born a winner!
"...this one!" She held me in front of the two humans. The girl made a weird squeaky sound and said something about "Much smaller than I thought."... her eyes grew very big and sparkly and she smiled very widely. Probably she also thought "Jackpot". The guy took me on his arm. They talked to my Mom's Mommy for a while, but I didn't listen, I was so very excited. The new family looked nice, but immediately so many other questions popped up. Where would my new home be? Would there be other cats? Or a dog? Children? Would there be enough food? Would it be yummy? Would there be toys? A lot of them? And of course the most important question every newly adopted kitty wants to know: What would my new name be?
I waved to my siblings when they put me into the box. It had a warm blanket and a toy mouse in it.
My Mom wasn't anywhere to be seen.
We went to a car and started the drive. I was in the box on the back seat, in the middle. The girl was to my front on the right, the guy left. The guy had to drive and looked in front, but the girl was turned towards me all the time. She put her fingers through the fence in the door so I could sniff them and she scratched my chin a little. She told me I didn't need to worry and we would soon be home.
We pulled over at a place with a yellow M and the guy left the car for a while. I needed a toilet as I was so excited and I squeeked a little. He soon came back with a bag that smelled nicely. We continued driving.
The girl still looked at me. Then her eyes grew wide and she looked at the guy: "PHOEBE!" she said. "What?" "Phoebe! Baby, what do you think of Phoebe? We should call her Phoebe!" "Yeah, that sounds nice." He said. The girl turned around again "Well, hello little Phoebe 'Why not Zoidberg' von Fluffy Terror!", she said to me. So that was my new name!
We soon reached the flat and went inside. "Welcome home, Phoebe!" they said. I immediately looked at everything. The girl ran after me with a camera. She loved everything I did. Even when I used the litter box, she got all excited. "BABYYYYY, look at this! She knows how to use the toilet, too!"
She then picked me up so the guy could take a picture of me on her arms. "Look little Phoebe," she said, pointing at the camera, "Daddy is taking a picture of you and Mommy. Smile!"
This is how I met my Mommy and Daddy.

This is me inspecting the flat with Mommy running after me.

This is me on the first night in my new home, watching Daddy play a game.

This is the picture Daddy took of me and Mommy.

" -Phoebe

...to be continued...

Baby Ruskas and furless Ruskas

Hi there!

Ruska lost one of her excuses today. She tends to say that she is not fat, just well-furred. Well, as a matter of fact, she isn't well-furred anymore, cause Daddy bought a defurring machine! It's like a comb and a lot of fur leaves when you comb a cat with it. Ruska says it's probably a conspiracy and that she feels very naked now. I think it was only a little tickly but otherwise it was fun to be de-furred. We are very silky now. So smooth. So petable. So fluffy.

Daddy de-furrs Ruska...

My de-furred fur and Ruska's de-furred fur.

Also Mommy said something about getting a second Ruska. It sounded very complicated. She said she always wanted to know how Ruska looked as a baby, cause she was probably adorable. I doubt she was as adorable as I am even now, but who knows. So to get a baby Ruska you need to send a bit of Ruska's fur to somewhere and pay manymanymuch money and then a while later the somewhere will send you back a baby Ruska. Or something like that. The baby Ruska would be exactly like Ruska, just a baby. But it would grow and then they would eat all my food away. Mommy said it also could happen that something goes wring with making the baby Ruska, cause humans are not yet so good in copying animals. So it might be that first we get some one-eared, three-legged Ruska's that look like baby elephants. And she seemed to find the idea amusing. I decided I will save up some money and send some of my fur to somewhere and then they can send me a Phoebe Army. We would have so much fun together. Mommy said it costs 250.000 dollars. That is probably not much, right? I don't know so much about money, you know. But I should have saved up that money quickly.

Also, the flat smells very nicely again since yesterday! It was smelling weird the weeks before and I felt uncomfortable. Mommy also put up a new litterbox. Now we have 3. One in the kitchen and 2 in the bathroom. That was the idea of a friend of Mommy. Because they say that a litterbox in the kitchen is disgusting but my pee in the kitchen even more so. Hmmm.
The new litterbox is huuuuuuge. Ruska likes it. She says id very spacious and comfortable. I better won't tell her what Mommy said about it.
I quote: "That's even big enough for Ruska's enormous rear to fit in." Hihi.

-Phoebe

I don't always love mice...

...but when I do, Mommy has probably sprayed them with catnip.

-Ruska

Soccer and PhoePee

Hi!

Oh, wow, I'm so exhausted!
Just finished a wild soccer game against Mommy. I am not quite sure who won. Probably me. Mommy is very good in soccer. I am too... because I am superfast.
So superfast that sometimes my feet slip away and I fall on my belly. Luckily I am well-furred, so it does not hurt too much. Phoebe was playing with us for a while, but she is more a fan of the game we played before soccer. Mommy throws our toys from the scratching tree to the other end of the living room or the hallway and we have to run and catch them. It is fun, but I like soccer more. There is only one ball involved and not so many toys to clean up afterwards. Even though it is Mommy who cleans them up anyways.
Wow. I really would need some food now, after all that sports. But of course the bowls are empty again... ugh, gosh. Well, at least Mommy saved my food from Phoebe today, so I still have some bit in my belly.

Phoebe turned into PhoePee again.On Saturday and yesterday she was bored and wanted Mommy to give her attention. Unfortunately Mommy was too busy at the exact moments when Phoebe wanted attention, so she could not give her attention. Phoebe said something about "I'll show her." and then peed somewhere in the flat where she knew Mommy would go soon and step in. And Mommy did step in. Two times. On Saturday she was very angry and went to the shops to get out right after the incident. But yesterday that wasn't an option, as she just came from the shops. So instead she screamed at Phoebe. Dude, I have never heard her screaming like that. She told she would find another family for Phoebe and then Phoebe would wish she would have appreciated the attention she gets here, because the new family would not give a fuck about her. And she would never get cuddled and never talked to and she couldn't write a blog and wouldn't get candy. And they would only feed her crappy food and maybe only once a day and eventually in a few years Phoebe would die from kidney failure or diabetes or another bad sickness that cats can get from crappy food! I just looked at Mommy with biiig eyes. I have really never seen her so angry.
Phoebe sat under the scratching tree and cried and shivered and said she was sorry and she didn't want to leave and die. And then Mommy started crying because she felt like a bad Mommy and because she had screamed so much at Phoebe, so she hugged Phoebe and told her why she was upset about what Phoebe did and then we got loooooots of candy.
Lets see when Phoebe will pee again. Can't wait for Mommy's reaction.
So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

The Drain Disaster

It appears our flat is broken.
Or something like that. At least something is very wrong with it.
I guess it's a conspiracy and probably also has to do with the cat food.

Lately when Mommy is washing our food bowls and human food bowls it starts smelling really weird. But not in the kitchen, where she is washing them, but in the litterboxroom! That's odd. Maybe ghosts? The ghosts of the lost cat food? I don't know.
The more she washes, the more it smells. And dirty water is flooding into the tub where our litterboxes are in. I though humans wash things so they smell better... I don't know. Mommy seems to be annoyed by it, Daddy too. They say it has to do with something called drains. And with the old house that our flat is in.
Yesterday Mommy bought a bottle of dangerous stuff. They said when you put it into those drains then there is no water getting stuck. Mommy wore a dish cloth in front of her nose and mouth and pink rubber gloves and she did something in the litterboxroom and we weren't allowed to go there. Our one litterbox is in the hallway. She went in there many times and did things many times. But it still didn't fix it, apparently. Today she used the dangerous stuff in the kitchen, after they had opened the space under the litterboxtub and looked at the drains. Mommy stuffed the black thing into the hole in the litterboxtub, that keeps the water from getting out. Turns out, this way it keeps the water from getting IN and also the bad smell away. She says the problem is solved now. I'm not sure if that is really true, but she is happy.

Mommy is also baking much lately. She comes up with her own recipes and makes muffins. They smell freaking delicious! I don't get any, of course. It's not fair. Today she asked Daddy what muffins she should make. I stood next to them and told her to make cat food muffins. She ignored me and kept asking Daddy what muffins she should make. GOSH, humans are impossible. As my escaping plans are on ice right now, maybe I should get started on catfoodmuffinplans. I watched Mommy making muffins, it can't be too hard. I just put cat food into the moulds and put it to the oven.

Mommy and I have a new game, too.
I realized the thread she uses to clean her teeth is exceptionally interesting. I try to catch it when she holds it. I need to stand up for that and apparently I look very cute when I do that. I can imagine. I am a cute cat.

Unfortunately I am too fast for Mommy's slow mobile camera.
But you get the idea.

-Ruska

Grumpy Cat Mommy!

Hellou!

There are good news and not so good news!
Mommy got work! That's good news... and not so good news, because Ruska worries that we might starve because of that fact. I never actually thought about it, but Ruska said, when Mommy and Daddy are both at work, there won't be anyone to give us food during the daytime, so we will starve. I don't know if that is true. For example, Mommy was at grandma's place again today and we still really didn't starve. She gave us a huge portion of food in the morning, so much that I decided not to be hungry anymore after I ate two bites and Ruska ate almost all... Mommy says she doesn't get us. Hmm.

Today she even brought us something when she came home:

TREATS!

Also... it is Throwback Thursday again, everyone!
So here is a picture of our Mommy. As a baby. Looking like Grumpy Cat.

Grumpy Mommy!

-Fööbi

Ruska the bread-thief!

Hello humans.

I am slightly confused. Mommy might have a split personality. She can't decide whose side to be on. Mine or Ruska's.
So while Ruska was whining about the food situation and making plans on how to escape or not, cause it's to scary, I enjoy it more and more. Finally enough food and Ruska is not stealing it from me. That's awesome. Today Ruska was especially whiny about not having food when she wanted to have food, so when Mommy left to buy groceries, Ruska started to look for food on her own. She was sniffing around on the kitchen counter, where we are not supposed to be. As she always tells me what not to do, I told her that she should come down, cause Mommy would be angry if she found her up there. But as Mommy was not home, Ruska did not care. Then she stuck her nose into the bag with the bread and pulled a piece of the bread out. She knows herself how she is not supposed to eat human food and how cats should not eat bread because it's useless for our nutrition. She always brags about how she knows that and all, you know?
She took the piece, jumped off the counter and began to eat it. I told her to stop and that she would get into very big trouble. She just laughed and said that Mommy would think it was me anyways, as I am always doing the bad things. That's not fair. When Mommy came home I was very scared that I would get into trouble. After all, Ruska is right, usually it is me doing something stupid.
Ruska walked past me and smirked very self-assured. Then Mommy started screaming cause she saw the half-eaten piece of bread on the kitchen floor. She turned to me and asked if it was me. Usually, when I did something wrong, I run away and hide until she is not so very angry anymore. But I was innocent this time so I just looked at her with the most innocent huge eyes I managed to make. She then turned to Ruska and Ruska suddenly wasn't smirky anymore at all. She almost hyperventilated and looked at Mommy with huge panic-filled eyes. Even I am not that obvious when I am guilty of something. Also, Mommy found some white fur on the bread, so she knew for sure it was Ruska.

She said we wouldn't get any lunch now and I was very afraid.... I was hungry and innocent and it would not be fair to deny me my lunch, just cause Ruska did something bad. But Mommy realized quite quickly that she faced the risk of Ruska stealing more food, so we got our lunch. When Ruska left (obviously her belly was full of bread) with the  bowl half full and I was still hungry after I emptied mine, I again ate a bit of Ruska's food. Mommy shooed me away, like she usually did with Ruska. She never shooed me away from food, cause I never eat too much. But today I did apparently and she said one chubby cat in the household is enough. Hmm.

-Phoebe

Crime victim: bread.

Parachuting canceled due to window-problems.

Parachute plan canceled.
Everything seemed to work perfectly fine. I managed - with Phoebe's help - to knot myself into some belts and attach the cuddly blanket from the sofa to it. I stole one of Mommy's scarfs and wrapped it around my head for protection. Did not find any glasses, but decided it had to work without them. I could already smell freedom and tons of food. Ruska ready for take off.... - and then I didn't manage to open the window.
Well, it is unfortunate, but I will find another solution eventually. To be honest, parachuting sounds a little bit scary after all. Maybe I should pack myself in a box and send it somewhere. I bet you can find petfoodshopadresses on the internet. That would be a marvelous place to send myself to. Then again... I'd probably be in cars. With the box. That would maybe be too scary, too. If I... no, way too scary.
An adoption ad online! Pawesome! No, wait... if I get adopted, that means new humans.... maybe other cats... maybe they have dogs... maybe even less food. No, no, that's not good.
I think maybe I should stay here. Yeah, that sounds good. Yes.

It is not too bad here, actually. If I think about it. At least we get food and it tastes really good. And on Saturday we had a women's night with Mommy. Phoebe was too small, she was playing on her own. First I watched Mommy sitting in the big box in which our litterboxes are usually. It was filled with water and extremely suspicious. She asked me if I wanted to come in, but it was too scary. And I think maybe she wasn't all serious about that.
Afterwards we watched a movie called Sex and the City. It's for women. I am a woman. Cat...woman. Anyways, it was fun. I tried to steal Mommy's chocolate, but she said I couldn't have it. I didn't get wine either. But I got some treats. It's something!

When it come to the food situation - things have gone from bad to worse. I actually caught Phoebe eating the rest of the food in my bowl today. It's supposed to be the other way around. That is just so wrong.

-Ruska

This was my parachuting helmet.

Parachute-Ruska

Hello humans!

Oh, boy, what a weird devil's day! Daddy was home, you know? Daddy is usually always at work at devil's day, but today he was home. In fact, he was the one deviling today, Mommy only needed to mop. They were gone for a while during the day to look at animals. I really don't understand that. After all, they have two perfectly fine and very watchable animals right here. Hello. *waves*
In the evening they were planning to watch other Finnish humans. Or something like that. When they came home, Mommy didn't feel too well. She was whining around and lying on the sofa. She looked pretty much like Ruska actually. Hihi. She said she had ice coffee and it didn't do any good to her stomach. Ice coffee. That sounds delicious. I ate ice cream once. No, actually twice. But I only got a wee bit, cause Mommy said it is not good for my? RIGHT - stomach! And now she has a lot of ice cream with coffee herself and then she gets all confused about why her stomach does not like it? Really, I don't understand humans.

Ruska is planning her escape since yesterday. She does not like the new regulation of less food. She made plans all night. I think they involve a parachute. I am not so sure if a parachuting Ruska is the best idea. She is even afraid of the mop, I bet parachuting is much more scary.

Here is a part of Ruska's plan. She drew it herself.

I just hope the heaven thing is not meant literally. I mean, she does not even have a parachute. She says she is going to take care of it. Oh, god.

I have to say I like the new food regulation. As we get smaller portions I manage to eat mine all up. Ruska, too, obviously. Then we can't eat before we get more. And by then I am hungry again and manage the smaller portion again. So in the end I always get all the food that is meant for me and Ruska can't steal any. She really should lose some weight anyways. I wonder if the parachute would even hold her. If she had one.

The only thing that worries me is the warning sign next to the food bowls. It looks like this:

In case you can't clearly see it, it says
"Planning on...
...peeing somewhere?
...stealing treats?
...climbing somewhere you don't belong?

...destroying something?

...scratching Mommy?
...making a mess?
THINK TWICE"
and then there is the picture of a cat which is nailed to the wall through its ears! D:
Ruska says the cat in the picture is supposed to me be. There is some resemblance... maybe... but that is only by accident I am sure.

Last but not least: here is my awesome selfie from yesterday!

#hipstercat #yoln

(yoln is not a typo, cats don't live only once, suckaaaas!)

Byeee!
-Pheebs

PhoePiece and PhoePee

Times are getting rough, I can tell you.
Foodwise, mostly. Also otherwise, sometimes.

Mommy decided that I am getting too fat and that she has to put me on a diet. She is shooing me away whenever I get close to Phoebe's bowl. I. AM. JUST. WELL. FURRED. And hungry. Very hungry. I might die of hunger. Also, Mommy loves Phoebe more than me. Yesterday after she gave us dinner, she would put some kibbles in Phoebe's bowl, so Phoebe would eat more of the wet food under them. Because, she said, if Phoebe eats as little as usual and Mommy goes to bed, then she can't check if I eat all the rest of Phoebe's food. Which I might do, indeed, yes. But ONLY because I am hungry. Not because I am fat. Those two things are like totally unrelated!
And as if all of that wasn't enough, the portions we get are a lot smaller than before! WHAAAT? Mommy says that is because I always eat all the rest and Phoebe only gets a few bites. If there is less food in total then Phoebe still only gets a few bites, but there is a smaller rest for me to eat. That does not make any sense whatsoever. I am seriously thinking of calling animal rescue. I am severely mistreated here, yes I am.

Phoebe starts getting bored again, too. And that does not mean any good. If Phoebe gets bored it usually means that something breaks or she gets into some kind of trouble with Mommy. Like the other night when we played tag. Mommy had left her wineglass on the sofa table and I told Phoebe to be careful when chasing after me, cause Mommy surely would not be amused if we threw it over. After all, Phoebe is already responsible for the deaths of two other wineglasses.
So we were playing and I was running over the table, of course next to the glass, and Phoebe was chasing after me and I just hear a loud clank and Phoebe saying "Whoops" and the glass is in thousand pieces on the sofaroom floor. Right and then they say I am the fat one. I at least manage to fit perfectly past the glass without dropping it, unlike oh so slim Phoebe. Daddy immediately came out of the bedroom to see what happened, and Phoebe hid in our box castle. However, Daddy didn't switch the light on, so he said to Mommy that there was nothing and he left. I already thought Phoebe got away with it once again, but a while later Mommy came out mumbling something about "better saving that wineglass". Uh oh.
Of course she got very angry when she saw that there was nothing to save anymore. And she cursed about Phoebe and about Daddy, because he hadn't noticed and about how she could not sleep anymore now. I was sitting next to her and told her that it was Phoebe and that I had told Phoebe that she should be careful and that I really tried to help and Phoebe didn't listen and Phoebe is very bad-mannered cat and that I try my best in telling her right from wrong and that I can only do so much, cause, you know, what's lost is lo- and then Mommy snarled at me to shut it. Whaaaat? It is really not fair! She didn't even listen! I am the good one here! In fact, I am the victim! We are both victims! PhoePiece's victims! (I decided to call her PhoePiece, cause she leaves things in pieces. Hihi.)

PhoePee returned as well. I guessed it couldn't be too good that Mommy bragged about how Phoebe didn't pee anywhere but the litterbox anymore since we moved. Well, yesterday she did. Right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's nose basically. Despite they didn't notice until it started smelling. I asked Phoebe why she would do that. After all, Phoebe had decided to not pee on things anymore, as she was too old for that already. Yeah right. Phoebe said, that Mommy and Daddy were only looking at movies and not at her and that she doesn't like that. And guess what? Now she gets even more attention than she already gets all the time, because Mommy and Daddy are so worried that she will pee again. Maybe I should pee somewhere, too, to get my will. Maybe into the food bowls. No wait, that is disgusting. Maybe into Phoebe's bowl only? No wait, I eat from that, too. Well, then next to the food bowls. Yeah, I might as well just to that.

Today Mommy was playing with Phoebe and Phoebe clawed into Mommy's foot and then Mommy was bleeding. But Mommy still laughed about it. It is incredible! That little monster can just do whatever it wants without getting any punishment!

-frustrated Ruska

Here' PhoePee and Mommy's foot.

Clearing some common misunderstandings! aka. I AM NOT FAT!

Hello.

I. Am. Upset.

People do not take me serious. Everyone makes fun of me. All the time.
So now I will have to put some things clear:

1. I am not fat, I am well-furred.
2. I do not run like a walrus, I run very cutely.
3. I do not wobble, there just aren't bras for cat bellies.
4. I do not eat too much, I get too little food.
5. I do not have a boy's face, I have distinctive outlines.
6. I am not a spastic, I just sometimes lose control of my neck-muscles.

Did we sort that out now, yes?
Well, that is great. Lately I have been accused of all of the above several times. People enjoy it most, when they can draw a comparison with Phoebe at the same time. Phoebe is petite. Phoebe runs svelte like a gazelle. Phoebe is so muscular. Phoebe only eats tiny bits of food. Phoebe has a cute little face. Phoebe never shakes her head weirdly. Phoebe...pfffffffff.

And as if that all was not yet enough, Mommy has left us alone all day. She went to grandma and spare-grandpa and dug around in their garden. I don't know what a garden is, is it like a litter box? Whatever... there was no food all day and nobody to clean our litter boxes.
Then it stroke me! Mommy can never find a job! We would always be foodless from the morning to the evening! Maybe I should start writing emails after Mommy has send applications and spread some rumors about her. "Don't hire her, she never gives her cats enough food." Maybe... I don't know. Might be too mean. "Ruska is so mean. Phoebe is so nice. Mömömömööööblalaaaablablaa." Pff.

Also, I was very happy that the drawing of me looked much better than the drawing of Phoebe. I am so pretty, one has to be able to draw me perfectly. Unfortunately, Mommy started drawing other pictures. She drew our sister Lotta who passed away and Daddy with our brother Mutteri and granny Minttu and then a dog. And I don't want to admit it, but they all look much better than me. I mean, than my drawing. Nobody looks better than me.

Maybe I should learn how to draw.
That would be quite sensational.

Mommy also got a new Bob-book. I am excited. I watched the cover of it for quite a while. There is a picture of Bob on it. Such a handsome cat. I wonder if he would agree on going on a date with me? *blush*


-Ruska

Throwback Thursday!

Here is Ruska and me the first time she let me sit next to here without hissing.

Here is me when I stole a warm towelblanket from the laundry bag.

Here is me with my real siblings and dog-friend!

I am the black kitten on the right.

My real Mommy's Mommy took the picture to show it to my human Mommy.

So much for Throwback Thursday! Hihi!
I made peace with Ruska yesterday, she said she doesn't hate me. I don't hate her either, but it is mean that she eats my food. She said she'd never do it again. I don't believe her. But it's the thought that counts. Earlier she even kinds tried to eat my food WHILE I was eating it myself... I asked her what she was doing, she said "Nothing." and started licking my head. Then she jumped over me and ate her own food. Oh, well...

Ruska also said that Mommy does not really hate me. I want to believe it, but I am still not sure. Today Mommy said mean things again. She cleaned some sticky stuff off the kitchen floor and she was a little annoyed. The sticky stuff comes from funny sticky things, that Daddy put under the legs of the chairs and table the other day. Apparently they are supposed to protect them, but I think it is much more fun to play with them. It is tricky to get them out, you know, as the chairs and table are heavy and they are standing on them. But I managed. Mommy seems to disagree with my idea of fun, though. She said that next time she sees either of us trying to get those thingies out, she will use us to scrub the residue off the floor.

That is not nice. I have to be careful to only play that game when Mommy isn't watching.

Byeee,
Phoebe

Mimimi...

...mimimimimimimimimimi....
Nyyyhyyyhy... hyy....

*sniff*
Ruska is evil. *rubs head* Ruska hit me! Mommy always says that you shouldn't hit nobody! Humans shouldn't hit humans and humans shouldn't hit cats and cats shouldn't hit humans and cats shouldn't hit cats! But Ruska hit me! And Mommy saw it! She even laughed about it! *sniff**holds head*
I want to get adopted. Ruska is mean. I think Ruska maybe hates me. Mommy maybe, too. And everyone likes Ruska more than me and.... *bursts into tears and runs away*

*munch**chew**munch*
*looks left**munch**looks right*
Hello? Anyone here? Hm....
Oh, I see.... little one took it personally. Okay, well, maybe I was a little rough, but you know...? One has to fight for one's food. Yeah, I admit, I didn't think far enough when I wrote about stealing Phoebe's food, because of course Phoebe read it here and got all upset. Duh. Stupid me. Well, can't think of everything. Anymeow, we almost got burgers earlier. I mean, almost real burgers! Mommy was cutting the meat that is in burgers to turn it into human food. She made two little plates ready, so we could have some as well.
As always, she carefully checked that we both get exactly the same amount as not to be unfair. So far so good...

Noms!

I enjoyed my portion, as I always do. Also, I gotta admit, it is pretty exhausting to chew that stuff. Phoebe was done in no time and then came over to look at my plate. She asked if she could have some... well, she asked at least, but of course I denied. Then she said something about me always eating her food when she leaves and it was only fair to turn the game around and she took a piece of my meat. Wooooohooooo, sloooowly, little one! I showed her that this wasn't going to happen, hissed at her and smacked her face.
I don't think Mommy laughed cause she hates Phoebe, but Phoebe's face was pretty awesome indeed.

Mommy started drawing again. She said she did that a while ago... like many years ago. She never drew cats though and she said it's a pain in the butt, because of all the fur. And Phoebe was a bigger pain in the butt, because of all the black. She is not very happy with the results. She says she screwed up Phoebe's eyes and my mouth. That is true. Anyways, my beauty can't be caught in a drawing. Not even a photograph.
Mommy said, if she cuts both pictures in half and puts my eyes and Phoebe's mouth together, then it is a pretty perfect cat. Well, that would look funny.

Weird-eyed Phoebe.

Weird-mouthed me.

Now I guess I should look for Phoebe. She apparently took that little incident personally. I almost feel a little sorry.

-Ruska

Phoebe's Food Paradox

Hello humans!

I know, it has been a while again... it is not easy lately. Mommy's head is full of not having a job. That is funny in a way, cause if you don't have something, how can your head be full of it? My head is never full of food, cause there is never enough of it... for example.
Anyways, because her head is full she spends more and more time on the machine. Looking for works or playing games on Facebook or reading in forums or watching some humans in red uniforms that can fly and help other humans. It is hard to find a time to write something for me and Phoebe. Mommy was even at a point talking about not letting us write anything anymore at all, cause she said that not many people are reading anymore and it would all be in vain. And that she needs the machine for other things. IT'S MADNESS! I tried to explain to her, that she should instead give us food more often. She said those two things are not related. Nonsense, everyone knows that food is the answer to everything.

The food situation has become critical.
Sometimes it takes many hours before we get more food. Mommy says, that is only because we eat much faster than we used to. Excuses. I came up with a brilliant idea... I am eating the food from Phoebe's bowl when nobody notices, after she left it. When she is coming back, she will find her bowl empty, and because she is believing in the good of everything, everyone and everycat she doesn't suspect it was me, but thinks she ate it herself and just forgot about it. Because she knows that she should only eat from her own bowl, she won't touch mine either. So I can come later and take my time to eat my own portion. Brilliant, isn't it?
What? What do you mean "that's evil"? One has to survive somehow in this cruel world! What would you do?
Well, sadly enough, Mommy got behind my brilliant trick and now she keeps shooing me away from Phoebe's bowl every time she sees me eating from it. That's unfortunate.

I really wish I was a human. They can eat whenever and whatever they want. Even cheese!
Mommy and Daddy were talking about burgers a lot on the weekend. I don't quite know exactly what a burger is, but the way they talked about it sounded like it is the best thing ever. Yesterday they went for burgers, because Mommy's friend from Finland was visiting. She is staying in Frankfurt as well, but without cats and not as long as we. She was nice. I slept next to her.
Anymeow, they went for burgers and I told them I wanted to join. As loud as I could.
Then Mommy indeed said, that I could have some too! I got excited! As you know, that happens rarely, but I really wanted to taste the burger thing! Burgers have cheese sometimes, you know? That's what Phoebe said. I don't know how she knows but it sounds about right. As burgers are awesome and so is cheese.
She went to the kitchen and filled food into our bowls and gave us a treat with chicken and cheese (yes, they sell that, wheee!) each. I waited next to the door while Phoebe ate her food and was all excited about the yummy treat. Then they left. I was still next to the door. They forgot me! Can you believe that?
Phoebe said, that Mommy didn't mean we could have burgers, too, but she meant the treats with the cheese. Well, that can't be right!? I think they just forgot me. I'm deeply hurt. Well, maybe next time.

I found out about another weird thing humans do. At least here, not in Finland though.
This time of the year they dress up as something they are not and then they have fun. They all it carnival. Yeah, as I said, weird.
Phoebe got incredibly excited of course and wanted to do a carnival as well. Ugh, god, no. She always wanted to be a dragon, so she dressed up as a dragon. I didn't want to dress up. Phoebe said I shouldn't be a party pooper. So I put on my crown and said I was a queen. Phoebe was happy. Not that my crown would be a costume, I am awesome, it is part of my normal accessories. But what does that little black kitten know?

This is our costumes.

Byyyee!
Ruska

P.S.:
Rest in Peace, little Pounci!
Too bad we didn't have the chance to get to know you...

Our Granny will take care of you now.
Hugs to your Mommy and sister Misto!
-Phoebe & Ruska & Mommy