Parachute-Ruska

Hello humans!

Oh, boy, what a weird devil's day! Daddy was home, you know? Daddy is usually always at work at devil's day, but today he was home. In fact, he was the one deviling today, Mommy only needed to mop. They were gone for a while during the day to look at animals. I really don't understand that. After all, they have two perfectly fine and very watchable animals right here. Hello. *waves*
In the evening they were planning to watch other Finnish humans. Or something like that. When they came home, Mommy didn't feel too well. She was whining around and lying on the sofa. She looked pretty much like Ruska actually. Hihi. She said she had ice coffee and it didn't do any good to her stomach. Ice coffee. That sounds delicious. I ate ice cream once. No, actually twice. But I only got a wee bit, cause Mommy said it is not good for my? RIGHT - stomach! And now she has a lot of ice cream with coffee herself and then she gets all confused about why her stomach does not like it? Really, I don't understand humans.

Ruska is planning her escape since yesterday. She does not like the new regulation of less food. She made plans all night. I think they involve a parachute. I am not so sure if a parachuting Ruska is the best idea. She is even afraid of the mop, I bet parachuting is much more scary.

Here is a part of Ruska's plan. She drew it herself.

I just hope the heaven thing is not meant literally. I mean, she does not even have a parachute. She says she is going to take care of it. Oh, god.

I have to say I like the new food regulation. As we get smaller portions I manage to eat mine all up. Ruska, too, obviously. Then we can't eat before we get more. And by then I am hungry again and manage the smaller portion again. So in the end I always get all the food that is meant for me and Ruska can't steal any. She really should lose some weight anyways. I wonder if the parachute would even hold her. If she had one.

The only thing that worries me is the warning sign next to the food bowls. It looks like this:

In case you can't clearly see it, it says
"Planning on...
...peeing somewhere?
...stealing treats?
...climbing somewhere you don't belong?

...destroying something?

...scratching Mommy?
...making a mess?
THINK TWICE"
and then there is the picture of a cat which is nailed to the wall through its ears! D:
Ruska says the cat in the picture is supposed to me be. There is some resemblance... maybe... but that is only by accident I am sure.

Last but not least: here is my awesome selfie from yesterday!

#hipstercat #yoln

(yoln is not a typo, cats don't live only once, suckaaaas!)

Byeee!
-Pheebs

Clearing some common misunderstandings! aka. I AM NOT FAT!

Hello.

I. Am. Upset.

People do not take me serious. Everyone makes fun of me. All the time.
So now I will have to put some things clear:

1. I am not fat, I am well-furred.
2. I do not run like a walrus, I run very cutely.
3. I do not wobble, there just aren't bras for cat bellies.
4. I do not eat too much, I get too little food.
5. I do not have a boy's face, I have distinctive outlines.
6. I am not a spastic, I just sometimes lose control of my neck-muscles.

Did we sort that out now, yes?
Well, that is great. Lately I have been accused of all of the above several times. People enjoy it most, when they can draw a comparison with Phoebe at the same time. Phoebe is petite. Phoebe runs svelte like a gazelle. Phoebe is so muscular. Phoebe only eats tiny bits of food. Phoebe has a cute little face. Phoebe never shakes her head weirdly. Phoebe...pfffffffff.

And as if that all was not yet enough, Mommy has left us alone all day. She went to grandma and spare-grandpa and dug around in their garden. I don't know what a garden is, is it like a litter box? Whatever... there was no food all day and nobody to clean our litter boxes.
Then it stroke me! Mommy can never find a job! We would always be foodless from the morning to the evening! Maybe I should start writing emails after Mommy has send applications and spread some rumors about her. "Don't hire her, she never gives her cats enough food." Maybe... I don't know. Might be too mean. "Ruska is so mean. Phoebe is so nice. Mömömömööööblalaaaablablaa." Pff.

Also, I was very happy that the drawing of me looked much better than the drawing of Phoebe. I am so pretty, one has to be able to draw me perfectly. Unfortunately, Mommy started drawing other pictures. She drew our sister Lotta who passed away and Daddy with our brother Mutteri and granny Minttu and then a dog. And I don't want to admit it, but they all look much better than me. I mean, than my drawing. Nobody looks better than me.

Maybe I should learn how to draw.
That would be quite sensational.

Mommy also got a new Bob-book. I am excited. I watched the cover of it for quite a while. There is a picture of Bob on it. Such a handsome cat. I wonder if he would agree on going on a date with me? *blush*


-Ruska

Mimimi...

...mimimimimimimimimimi....
Nyyyhyyyhy... hyy....

*sniff*
Ruska is evil. *rubs head* Ruska hit me! Mommy always says that you shouldn't hit nobody! Humans shouldn't hit humans and humans shouldn't hit cats and cats shouldn't hit humans and cats shouldn't hit cats! But Ruska hit me! And Mommy saw it! She even laughed about it! *sniff**holds head*
I want to get adopted. Ruska is mean. I think Ruska maybe hates me. Mommy maybe, too. And everyone likes Ruska more than me and.... *bursts into tears and runs away*

*munch**chew**munch*
*looks left**munch**looks right*
Hello? Anyone here? Hm....
Oh, I see.... little one took it personally. Okay, well, maybe I was a little rough, but you know...? One has to fight for one's food. Yeah, I admit, I didn't think far enough when I wrote about stealing Phoebe's food, because of course Phoebe read it here and got all upset. Duh. Stupid me. Well, can't think of everything. Anymeow, we almost got burgers earlier. I mean, almost real burgers! Mommy was cutting the meat that is in burgers to turn it into human food. She made two little plates ready, so we could have some as well.
As always, she carefully checked that we both get exactly the same amount as not to be unfair. So far so good...

Noms!

I enjoyed my portion, as I always do. Also, I gotta admit, it is pretty exhausting to chew that stuff. Phoebe was done in no time and then came over to look at my plate. She asked if she could have some... well, she asked at least, but of course I denied. Then she said something about me always eating her food when she leaves and it was only fair to turn the game around and she took a piece of my meat. Wooooohooooo, sloooowly, little one! I showed her that this wasn't going to happen, hissed at her and smacked her face.
I don't think Mommy laughed cause she hates Phoebe, but Phoebe's face was pretty awesome indeed.

Mommy started drawing again. She said she did that a while ago... like many years ago. She never drew cats though and she said it's a pain in the butt, because of all the fur. And Phoebe was a bigger pain in the butt, because of all the black. She is not very happy with the results. She says she screwed up Phoebe's eyes and my mouth. That is true. Anyways, my beauty can't be caught in a drawing. Not even a photograph.
Mommy said, if she cuts both pictures in half and puts my eyes and Phoebe's mouth together, then it is a pretty perfect cat. Well, that would look funny.

Weird-eyed Phoebe.

Weird-mouthed me.

Now I guess I should look for Phoebe. She apparently took that little incident personally. I almost feel a little sorry.

-Ruska