HELP! THIRST! The water is GONE!

Hello humans....

You need to help me! I think I am going to die.
Mommy and Daddy took all our water bowls away. They want us to dry out!
It all started yesterday, when they brought tons of cat food home and I already thought we were in paradise!

Look how much food they brought!

The odd thing is the box in the back. There is a weird machine in there. Daddy put the weird machine on the floor in the living room. There is water in there and it is moving all the time.
Daddy also took our other two water bowls away from us. I am confused. If we don't drink, we will die.

Mommy and Daddy keep running after us and placing us in front of the weird thing and point at it and sound all excited and squirt water in our faces. They tell us we should drink from it. ARE THEY CRAZY? I mean, we might fall in and die. I don't trust the machine. I really don't. Mommy even gave us dry food for breakfast. We almost never get dry food as Mommy says it is not that good for cats. But she gave us a lot of it this morning and giggled and told Daddy that now we would drink for sure. I promised myself I wasn't gonna fall for it... the problem is, I really like dry food. So I ate some of it and then some more and then still a little more. And I got thirstier and thirstier, I am super thirsty now, BUT OUR WATER BOWLS ARE GONE! Mommy and Daddy want us to die. I am sure of it. They want us to dry right out.

But the craziest thing ever is - earlier I caught Phoebe - DRINKING FROM THE WEIRD THING! She says the water tastes very fresh, because there is a filter in the thing. That can't be right, water is supposed to have cat hair in it. Lots. Also some litter. And maybe a toy or two! Phoebe also says it is much more fun to drink, because it is moving. And she does not have to bend down to drink, as the thing is much higher than our water bowls. That is insane! Everyone here is totally insane.
Mommy is insane! She always giggles when Phoebe drinks from the weird thing. Phoebe drinks a lot more than before, because she says the new thing is so much fun to drink. THAT IS WHY MOMMY GIGGLES! Because Phoebe is going to DIE FROM IT! Soon. SOOOON!

I have to go. I need to find a source of water. Urgently. I am SO thirsty and no water anywhere near! Huah!

-Ruska

THING! I don't trust you, you THING!

Phoebe and the seasonal peeing!

*hits machine with paw*
This... doesn't... wo- oh, see now it works!
I am afraid we need to move our blog soon, because this page refuses to work properly.

Oh...

Hello hoomans!

Yes, indeed, it is me: Ruska! Of course you all remember me, you're my biggest fans after all and Phoebe is just my boring sidekick, right? Nah, I was just kidding of course. Or was I? He... hehe... he.

Anymeow... Phoebe can't write anything at the moment because she is in mourning.
Of course once again she caused her sorrow herself.
You see, Phoebe started the peeing again some weeks ago. Not quite as frequently as before, but still. Nobody really knows why she does that... still. Mommy said that most humans think cats pee places (other than the litter box) when they are sick or sad. Like sad about the home they live in or something. Already last year Mommy and Daddy took Phoebe to the nice lady to have her and her pee checked, but all was fine. So I assumed she must be sad and sat her down for a cat-to-cat talk. After all, you might not know it, I was a cat psychologist once.
Phoebe said she wasn't sad at all. In fact, she insists she is very happy. She likes her food, even though I eat most of it, she likes Mommy and Daddy and her toys and her cuddlybed. The only thing, she said, that could be better is that Mommy and Daddy should get 20 more cats and 5 dogs for her to play with. I hereby announce that I strongly, I repeat: STRONGLY, disagree with that.
Anymeow... Phoebe said that during the last months she just didn't feel like peeing anymore. Now she does again. Severe case of seasonal peeing, I diagnose. ... OF COURSE THAT'S A THING! I got a proof right here! Phoebe!

The seasonal peeing has gotten Phoebe into her current misery.
Phoebe's favourite place is on the kitchen windowsill. Especially in the evenings when the sun shines there. Mommy has put some comfy blankets there, so Phoebe doesn't need to sleep on the cold stone sill. Occasionally, Phoebe throws the blanket down. Accidentally. As happened last night. So earlier she was sneaking around it and whining for Mommy to lift it back up on the sill. Mommy did - and started to curse and threw the blankets on the laundry pile. It appears Phoebe had peed over them. Now Phoebe is very very sad because she has no comfy blankets in the kitchen anymore. This happened before quite many times with cuddlybed and toys and other things. Phoebe just never learns.

Phoebe has been rather weird lately anyways. She suddenly became quite the cuddle cat. I am sure she just does it to toady up to Mommy and Daddy and have them love her more than me. I am still the cuter and more authentic cuddle cat, though.
But it seems to work on Mommy to some extend. She is always exceptionally delighted when Phoebe comes to cuddle her.

Now I need to go and check if Mommy has filled up the food bowls. I'm staaaarving.

Take care, fans!

-Ruska

Here is Phoebe cuddling Mommy...

 ...BUT I'M MUCH CUTER! SEE?

PhoePiece and PhoePee

Times are getting rough, I can tell you.
Foodwise, mostly. Also otherwise, sometimes.

Mommy decided that I am getting too fat and that she has to put me on a diet. She is shooing me away whenever I get close to Phoebe's bowl. I. AM. JUST. WELL. FURRED. And hungry. Very hungry. I might die of hunger. Also, Mommy loves Phoebe more than me. Yesterday after she gave us dinner, she would put some kibbles in Phoebe's bowl, so Phoebe would eat more of the wet food under them. Because, she said, if Phoebe eats as little as usual and Mommy goes to bed, then she can't check if I eat all the rest of Phoebe's food. Which I might do, indeed, yes. But ONLY because I am hungry. Not because I am fat. Those two things are like totally unrelated!
And as if all of that wasn't enough, the portions we get are a lot smaller than before! WHAAAT? Mommy says that is because I always eat all the rest and Phoebe only gets a few bites. If there is less food in total then Phoebe still only gets a few bites, but there is a smaller rest for me to eat. That does not make any sense whatsoever. I am seriously thinking of calling animal rescue. I am severely mistreated here, yes I am.

Phoebe starts getting bored again, too. And that does not mean any good. If Phoebe gets bored it usually means that something breaks or she gets into some kind of trouble with Mommy. Like the other night when we played tag. Mommy had left her wineglass on the sofa table and I told Phoebe to be careful when chasing after me, cause Mommy surely would not be amused if we threw it over. After all, Phoebe is already responsible for the deaths of two other wineglasses.
So we were playing and I was running over the table, of course next to the glass, and Phoebe was chasing after me and I just hear a loud clank and Phoebe saying "Whoops" and the glass is in thousand pieces on the sofaroom floor. Right and then they say I am the fat one. I at least manage to fit perfectly past the glass without dropping it, unlike oh so slim Phoebe. Daddy immediately came out of the bedroom to see what happened, and Phoebe hid in our box castle. However, Daddy didn't switch the light on, so he said to Mommy that there was nothing and he left. I already thought Phoebe got away with it once again, but a while later Mommy came out mumbling something about "better saving that wineglass". Uh oh.
Of course she got very angry when she saw that there was nothing to save anymore. And she cursed about Phoebe and about Daddy, because he hadn't noticed and about how she could not sleep anymore now. I was sitting next to her and told her that it was Phoebe and that I had told Phoebe that she should be careful and that I really tried to help and Phoebe didn't listen and Phoebe is very bad-mannered cat and that I try my best in telling her right from wrong and that I can only do so much, cause, you know, what's lost is lo- and then Mommy snarled at me to shut it. Whaaaat? It is really not fair! She didn't even listen! I am the good one here! In fact, I am the victim! We are both victims! PhoePiece's victims! (I decided to call her PhoePiece, cause she leaves things in pieces. Hihi.)

PhoePee returned as well. I guessed it couldn't be too good that Mommy bragged about how Phoebe didn't pee anywhere but the litterbox anymore since we moved. Well, yesterday she did. Right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's nose basically. Despite they didn't notice until it started smelling. I asked Phoebe why she would do that. After all, Phoebe had decided to not pee on things anymore, as she was too old for that already. Yeah right. Phoebe said, that Mommy and Daddy were only looking at movies and not at her and that she doesn't like that. And guess what? Now she gets even more attention than she already gets all the time, because Mommy and Daddy are so worried that she will pee again. Maybe I should pee somewhere, too, to get my will. Maybe into the food bowls. No wait, that is disgusting. Maybe into Phoebe's bowl only? No wait, I eat from that, too. Well, then next to the food bowls. Yeah, I might as well just to that.

Today Mommy was playing with Phoebe and Phoebe clawed into Mommy's foot and then Mommy was bleeding. But Mommy still laughed about it. It is incredible! That little monster can just do whatever it wants without getting any punishment!

-frustrated Ruska

Here' PhoePee and Mommy's foot.

Clearing some common misunderstandings! aka. I AM NOT FAT!

Hello.

I. Am. Upset.

People do not take me serious. Everyone makes fun of me. All the time.
So now I will have to put some things clear:

1. I am not fat, I am well-furred.
2. I do not run like a walrus, I run very cutely.
3. I do not wobble, there just aren't bras for cat bellies.
4. I do not eat too much, I get too little food.
5. I do not have a boy's face, I have distinctive outlines.
6. I am not a spastic, I just sometimes lose control of my neck-muscles.

Did we sort that out now, yes?
Well, that is great. Lately I have been accused of all of the above several times. People enjoy it most, when they can draw a comparison with Phoebe at the same time. Phoebe is petite. Phoebe runs svelte like a gazelle. Phoebe is so muscular. Phoebe only eats tiny bits of food. Phoebe has a cute little face. Phoebe never shakes her head weirdly. Phoebe...pfffffffff.

And as if that all was not yet enough, Mommy has left us alone all day. She went to grandma and spare-grandpa and dug around in their garden. I don't know what a garden is, is it like a litter box? Whatever... there was no food all day and nobody to clean our litter boxes.
Then it stroke me! Mommy can never find a job! We would always be foodless from the morning to the evening! Maybe I should start writing emails after Mommy has send applications and spread some rumors about her. "Don't hire her, she never gives her cats enough food." Maybe... I don't know. Might be too mean. "Ruska is so mean. Phoebe is so nice. Mömömömööööblalaaaablablaa." Pff.

Also, I was very happy that the drawing of me looked much better than the drawing of Phoebe. I am so pretty, one has to be able to draw me perfectly. Unfortunately, Mommy started drawing other pictures. She drew our sister Lotta who passed away and Daddy with our brother Mutteri and granny Minttu and then a dog. And I don't want to admit it, but they all look much better than me. I mean, than my drawing. Nobody looks better than me.

Maybe I should learn how to draw.
That would be quite sensational.

Mommy also got a new Bob-book. I am excited. I watched the cover of it for quite a while. There is a picture of Bob on it. Such a handsome cat. I wonder if he would agree on going on a date with me? *blush*


-Ruska

Food and noise and diet and burrito!

...and... yes!

Life here starts being normal. Somehow. Daddy is going to work and Mommy is a desperate housewife. But she got invited to talk to people who might give her work. Probably then I have to be the woman in the house, I guess. I just won't devil, I can promise that much! Yesterday Mommy suggested that I could find a job instead of her. I could wear a little collar shirt and have a little briefcase and go to a boring office and be like business cat. That sounds fun. The only problem is, that there are people. And I don't like people. Also, there would be an annoying amount of fur on my collar shirt. That would be non-serious. I can't build my career with cat fur all over my collar shirt! How would that look? And then Phoebe would be alone at home. Unless, of course, I would get her into my company. She could be the overly eager trainee or something. Always rushing around with a Starbucks cup, being all hipster and stuff. That totally sounds like her. Or then we just let Mommy find a job and I continue eating and sleeping. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.

What I don't like about our home is that there is just waaaay too much noise here! The other day, something was exploding. Probably. In the wall. It was very loud in the wall. Maybe the wall was angry? Or someone was deviling in the wall? I don't know. Mommy said it's the neighbors. They are living in the wall? Are they small? They must be. Walls are not big. How can small neighbors make big noises? I don't know. I am confused.

Mommy brought more new food today. Awwwwww, great!
I like new food! We get many different foods now, not only the same boring shit. Mommy says it's also good for our bellies. I am sad we don't get the one yummy food anymore, but Phoebe's belly is always making the rumblies when we get it and she gets diarrhea and... I shouldn't go deeper into that, should I? Nah. So anyways. New food! YAY!

I tried a new diet today as well.... Mommy keeps complaining about my weight, so maybe I should change something. Mommy was having salad for lunch. She says it is very healthy and - AAAAH THE WALL NEIGHBORS ARE LOUD AGAIN! HELP! PANIC! DOOM! - what? where was I? Oh, the salad. So yes. I tasted the salad, as it is healthy and does not make me fat. It was not yummy. No. Really not. Ew.

SALAAAAD! No. Never again. Ew. No.

Yesterday Phoebe was lost. She was literally gone for hours! Mommy didn't seem to be worried. Strange. At some point during my search for her I was running over the new chair and I heard Phoebe complaining that I should take my fat legs off her ribs. But I couldn't still see her! But then she came out from under the blanket. Oh. Hi Phoebe. Hmh.

Mommy said it is good that we are inside and can't actually get lost. We might die. It is a dangerous city out there. She saw a man almost dying today. A car hit him. Cars are evil. Friends of mine lost all nine lives at once through cars. Some of my step-siblings did, too. Mikko lost 8 out of 9. But the guy Mommy saw didn't die after all. Maybe humans have many lives as well? I don't know. What's the sense in life? To be or not to be? To meow or... OH, get food, gotta go, BYES!

-Ruska

p.s. Mommy's friend was once quitting life to become a burrito. She became a chair eventually... but anyways, I decided to also quit life to become a burrito. Or purrito as Mommy's other friend suggested. That purrilliant.

AAAAH now Phoebe eats my food. Sonofadog.

Me as a burrito.

Devils-day!

Used a weak moment of Mommy to get to this machine. Not sure how much time I have. Might be kicked out before publishing this. Life is complicated.

Phoebe had planned to write something here today, but Phoebe is mostly busy sitting in a corner mumbling "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid Phoebe. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." to herself since last night. Frankly, she is a little. Her plan was to be the good cat at least for one day. She never has managed before, but she was super-sure she would succeed yesterday. Mostly because I had let myself go a little, but come on, I was just having a look.
What would you do if there was an empty open box right in front of your nose? That's right.
And the thing with Mommy's cheese? I mean really, it was there, Mommy wasn't, I was hungry and it smelled nicely. Who can blame me? I just planned on having a lick, but it was too good to resist. Mommy got angry and kept yelling at me about 'Camembert' and 'hers, not mine' and that I was too fat already. I am not fat. I am just well furred. Pff.

Anyways, after this trouble Phoebe was very sure that nothing could come in between her and her day as the perfect well-behaved kitty. She forgot about one thing: her own curiosity. And so while Mommy was putting things into boxes in the kitchen, Phoebe jumped onto the piled boxes in the bedroom. I mean jumped. Dude, can't you just like smell first or something? Of course Mommy came in just in that moment and she shoo-ed us both out of the bedroom and closed the door and said "that's it, you're not getting there anymore for the next two weeks". Phoebe feels very guilty and I entertained myself a bit by teasing her, pretending I would be very angry that we can't get into the bedroom because of her. Hehehehe. I am not really angry, Mommy won't go through with that anyways. I just have to sneak in and hide under the bed. I do that sometimes, especially when Mommy tries to get us out of the bedroom. I am not retarded, you know? Mommy always makes a lot of shooshoo and jumps around and waves her arms and tries to reach me under the bed. It is hilarious. So, yeah, there is no way her nerves will allow her to keep us out of the bedroom for the next weeks.

Today was devils-day again. I hate devils-day.
I always know it's devils day when Mommy wipes around on things with a furry thing. That's what she does first. No wait, first she wipes around in the kitchen and there is a lot of water involved. Then she wipes things.... then comes the devil. It is always like that. Luckily she was kind enough to leave the bedroom open for the time she was deviling around. However, she checked every 2 minutes if we were hiding from the devil on the boxes. Survived the devil yet another time. Phew. Mommy said the next devil-day is when Daddy will come back. Who cares, Daddy can't save us from the devil either! He is even also deviling sometimes himself. Cruel world.

Now I will go to lie into the shelf for a little while before Mommy notices I am here. She said that the Mommy of our friends Minttu and Jekku comes to pick it up tomorrow. Meh, another sleeping place less. So I have to use my time wisely.

So long, humans.

-Ruska