Foodwise, mostly. Also otherwise, sometimes.
Mommy decided that I am getting too fat and that she has to put me on a diet. She is shooing me away whenever I get close to Phoebe's bowl. I. AM. JUST. WELL. FURRED. And hungry. Very hungry. I might die of hunger. Also, Mommy loves Phoebe more than me. Yesterday after she gave us dinner, she would put some kibbles in Phoebe's bowl, so Phoebe would eat more of the wet food under them. Because, she said, if Phoebe eats as little as usual and Mommy goes to bed, then she can't check if I eat all the rest of Phoebe's food. Which I might do, indeed, yes. But ONLY because I am hungry. Not because I am fat. Those two things are like totally unrelated!
And as if all of that wasn't enough, the portions we get are a lot smaller than before! WHAAAT? Mommy says that is because I always eat all the rest and Phoebe only gets a few bites. If there is less food in total then Phoebe still only gets a few bites, but there is a smaller rest for me to eat. That does not make any sense whatsoever. I am seriously thinking of calling animal rescue. I am severely mistreated here, yes I am.
Phoebe starts getting bored again, too. And that does not mean any good. If Phoebe gets bored it usually means that something breaks or she gets into some kind of trouble with Mommy. Like the other night when we played tag. Mommy had left her wineglass on the sofa table and I told Phoebe to be careful when chasing after me, cause Mommy surely would not be amused if we threw it over. After all, Phoebe is already responsible for the deaths of two other wineglasses.
So we were playing and I was running over the table, of course next to the glass, and Phoebe was chasing after me and I just hear a loud clank and Phoebe saying "Whoops" and the glass is in thousand pieces on the sofaroom floor. Right and then they say I am the fat one. I at least manage to fit perfectly past the glass without dropping it, unlike oh so slim Phoebe. Daddy immediately came out of the bedroom to see what happened, and Phoebe hid in our box castle. However, Daddy didn't switch the light on, so he said to Mommy that there was nothing and he left. I already thought Phoebe got away with it once again, but a while later Mommy came out mumbling something about "better saving that wineglass". Uh oh.
Of course she got very angry when she saw that there was nothing to save anymore. And she cursed about Phoebe and about Daddy, because he hadn't noticed and about how she could not sleep anymore now. I was sitting next to her and told her that it was Phoebe and that I had told Phoebe that she should be careful and that I really tried to help and Phoebe didn't listen and Phoebe is very bad-mannered cat and that I try my best in telling her right from wrong and that I can only do so much, cause, you know, what's lost is lo- and then Mommy snarled at me to shut it. Whaaaat? It is really not fair! She didn't even listen! I am the good one here! In fact, I am the victim! We are both victims! PhoePiece's victims! (I decided to call her PhoePiece, cause she leaves things in pieces. Hihi.)
PhoePee returned as well. I guessed it couldn't be too good that Mommy bragged about how Phoebe didn't pee anywhere but the litterbox anymore since we moved. Well, yesterday she did. Right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's nose basically. Despite they didn't notice until it started smelling. I asked Phoebe why she would do that. After all, Phoebe had decided to not pee on things anymore, as she was too old for that already. Yeah right. Phoebe said, that Mommy and Daddy were only looking at movies and not at her and that she doesn't like that. And guess what? Now she gets even more attention than she already gets all the time, because Mommy and Daddy are so worried that she will pee again. Maybe I should pee somewhere, too, to get my will. Maybe into the food bowls. No wait, that is disgusting. Maybe into Phoebe's bowl only? No wait, I eat from that, too. Well, then next to the food bowls. Yeah, I might as well just to that.
Today Mommy was playing with Phoebe and Phoebe clawed into Mommy's foot and then Mommy was bleeding. But Mommy still laughed about it. It is incredible! That little monster can just do whatever it wants without getting any punishment!
-frustrated Ruska
Here' PhoePee and Mommy's foot.
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