Beefsteak? Beefsteak!

Beefsteak?
BEEFSTEAK!

I love beefsteak!
Daddy bought us some beefsteak. He promised that some days ago and he did indeed. But of course there was a snag to it - we could have it for ourselves. He ate the biggest part. When I complained he told me that compared to our bodysize I ate a much bigger amount than him. Humans never understand! Humans are omnivores, you know? That means they eat everything. Cats are carnivores. That means we eat meat.
So logically, as humans eat everything, they need to eat a bit less of everything. We eat only meat, so there needs to be a big amount. That's obvious, isn't it?

Luckily we got other food than beefsteak, too. Just in case. There can't be enough food.
Apparently in our petfoodstore of trust there was a discount on out catfood of trust. Also, Daddy has to give away the very dangerous car soon. Which is good, cause cars are very dangerous. But it's also bad, cause without a car they can't bring as much catfood at once.
Today they did bring as much as fitted in the car...probably. It was a castle of food! Literally.

Told you. A castle.

Daddy and Mommy bought new ringelingthings, too.
Daddy's is a whole new one, like very different from the old one. Mommy's is a bit similar to the old one.

Phoebe and me tried to talk them into buying us ringelingthings as well. I heard people need ringelingthings in case of emergencies. So if they die or have some other emergencies, they can ringeling to someone and be rescued. I need that.
Mommy said, if I had a ringelingthing for emergencies, I'd call her every 2 minutes soon as the foodbowl is empty. Well, duh! That's the definition isn't it? "For emergencies." Humans are weird indeed.

Here is Mommy's ringelingthing.

Daddy can take pretty pictures with his ringelingthing! He can chose that only some colors show in the picture and some don't. He took a picture of me and I need to say, I find myself exceptionally eye-pleasing in this one.

Look at me:

Did you look?
Ain't i gorgeous?
#calicoisthenewblack

So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

Am I nuts?

Mommy thinks I'm nuts.
It's official.

But I am very normal, really. It's just.... I needed to have a look at the paper that Mommy brought home from work. There were lots of foods listed in the paper and Mommy said she looks at it to decide what foods to eat at work during the week. Turns out, as Mommy got so weird to not eat meat anymore, there aren't that many choices. There's just one food without meat every day. So Mommy didn't really decide what to eat. She rather just looked at what she had to eat and was excited about it. The foods are good at her work, she says. So I wanted to taste and I started licking the paper.
The paper didn't taste like much. More like paper. But I like the taste of paper so I felt the need to squeak after every lick. Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick*
Mommy found that hopelessly amusing.
Then she said I am probably nuts.
I am not.

Because I didn't wanna be nuts, I went to the corner and started eating some wallpaper.
Mommy didn't find that quite as amusing.
In fact, she screamed at me. Can't humans ever decide what they want?
She also pointed at her eyes with her fingers and then pointed at me.
And she said she was watching me.

This is a bit how she looked like.

-Pheebs

The thing with the ice cream...

I am highly upset.
I almost fell out of the window, cause Mommy was almost dying. Or something like that.
Mommy and Daddy were gone - once again. When they came back, they had ice cream.
Did I mention I LOVE ice cream?
They ate the ice cream by the open window, but Mommy's ice cream tried to kill her so she ran away and Daddy ran after her.
I took the chance to have a look. I stuck my nose out of the window. My front paws were on the sill outside, my back paws on the sill inside. I was perfectly fine. Phoebe started screaming that Mommy didn't want that and that Mommy told her that if we put our paws out of the window we will die.
Pffff and she says I am the scared cat?
Then Mommy came back and started to scream that I was gonna jump and die. Duuuuuuuuuuude.
Daddy shooed me off the window.

Mommy offered us some ice cream then. Did I mention I LOVE ice cream?
I was a bit suspicious, it tried to kill her after all.... but I wanted to try anyways.
I smelled it, but it didn't smell so nice. I am sure it wasn't even ice cream. Cause ice cream never smells bad. I love ice cream. Did I mention that?

Then she offered Phoebe the ice cream. Phoebe screamed something like "ICE CREAM OF DEATH!" but sniffed on it still.
She didn't dare to try it either. I don't know if it was because Mommy almost died of it or because it really didn't smell like ice cream.
It was cookies ice cream. And cherry-banana ice cream. I never tried cherry-banana but cookies are delicious. Still, I'm sure that wasn't ice cream. I miss the good Finnish ice cream.
It's called Jättis. It's my favourite and Phoebe's too.

Ice cream of death that isn't ice cream.

As Phoebe told you there was the thing wth the ball and the feet yesterday.
I really don't get the hype.
Mommy was screaming a lot.
She was talking about a Jogi and a Klose and about people being too slow and other people being too fast.
I don't think the blackwhiteredyellows won. They didn't lose either. How is that possible? I don't know.
I want ice cream.

It's MY blackredandyellow, only miiine!

Here's Phoebe being all model-like with the blackredandyellow.

- Ruskis

So many worldcupz...

Hallo humans!!!

There is a worldcupz. Did you know that?
I mean....there was another one a while back with people dressed in blue and white and also other colors. But the blue and white ones were the best according to Mommy and Daddy. They are sliding around on fun white stuff or something like that and need to win something. The blue and white ones almost won, but not quite still.

Now there is green stuff instead of white stuff and the balls are much bigger.
It's called football, cause you kick the ball with the foot. I think. Daddy got a tiny football the other day and when he brought it home I tried to play with it. I kicked it with my paw. Pawball. But it was still too big, even though it is smaller than the worldcupz one and it kept rolling under my stomach and then I rolled over it and fell over.
Also, now the sticks are missing, cause they kick with the feet and they aren't so blue and white. I saw some blue and white ones and I cheered, but that was wrong apparently. I need to cheer for the ones with the white and black stuff.... and everything that is black, red and golden.
Mommy has a black, red and golden flag. It's lying on the floor. Other people have black red and golden flags on their cars. I saw them when looking outside from the window.

Mommy also has a necklace with black red and golden flowers. She put it on Ruska. Ruska didn't like it. Like really totally not.

Here is the unamused Ruska with Mommy and lots of white and black and black, red and gold.

Many other things happened, too. I went to the nice lady! It was a blast! I could drive with the red car that Daddy has. It's not his still, but I could drive with it.
The nice lady looked at me and at my pee. And she said that she really does not understand what is wrong with me. Hihi. That's because nothing is, probably. I feel fine.

Mommy said that maybe she needs to take me to the nice lady again and then the nice lady can look at my blood, too. And maybe she can then see what is wrong. I am not sure. I still feel fine.

Now I have to mentally prepare to look at the black and white humans kicking their footballs. Yes.
I promise I will write more often here again. Maybe. Or maybe not.
But Ruska will. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Bye!

-Phoebs

The thing with the car...

Howdie humans!

Ruska wanted to write this, but she is too busy trying to get rid of the stress rash she got from Facebook. I didn't know Facebook was that dangerous! It's all our uncle's fault! Ruska read something about a car that Daddy bough for his brother, who is our uncle. He just wanted to say that those news were missing from Ruska's blog post she published yesterday. He commented that on Facebook. Ruska read it there. I asked Mommy why she didn't tell us in the first place. After all, cars are very super exciting! Mommy said that she knows that Ruska really doesn't like cars. And I can't keep my tiny mouth shut, so telling me would not have helped either. And she really didn't want Ruska to get a stress rash. Well, so much for that. lol.
I asked Ruska why she got so stressed about a car. Not even our brother Mikko is so very scared of cars and he got hit by one once. I know that cars can be dangerous, all right. My cat Mom told me to always look left and right before crossing the street. But there are no streets in our flat. And only very small cars. So small, they can drive right through under my belly. Hihi. Maybe not Ruska's, cause her legs are pretty short. But anyways... No dangerous cars in this flat.
Ruska said, cars are never up to any good. Usually, she said, cars mean trips to the grim reaper or awful adventures. I really did not quite get what the problem with that is supposed to be. Nice lady visits and awesome adventures are great fun!
And now I am stuck with writing this, even though I was like super-busy myself. I just sat very comfortably on the pillow bed by the window and watched the sky getting greyer and greyer and bluer and then greyer again. I also watched drops of water running down the glass. Every now and then I made eye contact with a little bug outside on the window sill. I lost that now because of this nonsense. Most likely he already flew away. All because of Ruska's rash. Unbelievable.

Also, as awesome as the new space is, I figured one major problem already.... while you can speed right through from the kitchen to the sofaroom and back, the curve between the bedroom and the sofaroom is a mediocre problem. Me and Ruska crashed into walls and door frames and shoes many times already. The shoes are directly IN the curve and usually all over the place after we played catch. But that's really not our problem.

By the way, big news and a warning: don't take clothes down from the drying rack. Apparently it's forbidden. That's a bummer. And again - how could I have known?? I know I am not supposed to pee in the kitchen, so I didn't. Instead I played a little with the clothes on the drying rack. They were swinging nicely when I poked them with my paw. Some fell down. Didn't think it was bad. Mommy takes them down at some point anyways and she doesn't even like taking them down, so I guessed it was good I helped.
I was wrong. But at least she didn't get angry. She said at least I didn't pee anywhere and that's good.

Drying racks are useless anyways. And so fragile! I just wanted to check if that Mommy's bag that I had peed on was still smelling like pee. Cause if yes I would have tried to wash it again, so she wouldn't be angry. It didn't smell anymore. It smelled like "Summerfresh". Also, the drying rack fell over. With me. Happened already once this night while playing. Luckily, said Mommy, it was only the one with the bags and some bedsheets... so not everything fell off when it fell over. I think she might have been more annoyed if I had tried to climb onto the one in the sofaroom with all the human fur on it.

One never stops learning!

So long,
Phööbi

Many spaces!

Hello hoomans!

It's been a while. Many things happened, I was too busy processing all the information in my tiny, furry head, so I really didn't have a free head for blog postings. Phoebe said she wants to read the story of "How I met my humans".... my version, I mean. I don't know. Probably it would bore everyone. I'm not that good of a story teller, you know? I am better with being... well, fluffy and awesome.
Also, there are more important things happening!

A friend of Mommy's was here for some days. We could sleep next to her on the sofa, which was a bed, so that was fun. Then Mommy and Daddy both got very sick and didn't need to go to work and were lying on the sofa, which was also a bed then, so that was fun, too. We watched a lot of the TV with the weird people that talk weirdly and that kill each other and there are horses and a tiny guy and an asshole (sorry, I am not supposed to use that word), but the asshole (sorry) died and that was fun. It's about a throne, too, I think.

Then we watched a show with many hoomans who are sick and one hooman grim reaper who wants to heal them but then he doesn't, because he is grumpyhuman. He walks on a stick and he is what Mommy calls "sarcastic". I find him entertaining. He reminds me of myself. The show is about a house, too, if I got that right.

I also had some quality times with Mommy. We watched a show together that Phoebe and Daddy don't want to watch. There are humans having superabilities or something. There is one that can smell and see very good and one can make other humans do whatever she tells them too. I'd like to have that skill, it would solve the food problem for good. There is also a guy who is weird. Mommy says he is weird because he has a psychological thing called autism and that is veryvery hard to act that and that the human who acts it is really good. She wants to marry him, too, I think.


Phoebe was peeing much again. The other day she peed on all of Mommy's bags at once. Mommy told Daddy she would give Phoebe away and she cried and seemed serious. But later she was hugging and cuddling Phoebe and said she would never give her away, even if she peed on everything.

I had the feeling Phoebe was a little unhappy. I don't know why, but she wasn't purring much. I mean, she is never purring very much, I am the famous diesel engine in this household, but still. She was like not purring at all. She seems happier now, because (and that was supposed to be the actual content of this blog post) things changed very muchy.

Some days ago Daddy and Mommy carried big pieces of wood to the flat. It was exhausting I think. We had to wait in the kitchen so we only heard them cursing and then there were pieces of wood, so I did the math.
They wanted to build a box out of it... or something. But they couldn't cause something was missing.
But then they finally started building it and on Friday and yesterday they were building a lot. Mommy got a small breakdown because of the chaos. I think she might be allergic to chaos. I should take her to the grim reaper soonish. Daddy said it's because she realizes we live here now and won't go back to the old place anytime soon. I don't know. They carried much more stuff yesterday while we were waiting in the kitchen once again. This time from the flat to out of the flat.
And then when it was very late already the bedroom was there!! There was something reminding me of a bedroom before when we were allowed to take a look every now and then, but now it is a real one! There is many spaces and no chaos and the door is always open for kittycat inspection. I very much like this. Mommy put a pillow and a towel on the window sill and Phoebe sleeps there all the time and loves it and she is purring more than I have ever heard her purring.
Daddy says maybe she won't pee anymore now. I doubt it.
Now I will go back to lie on the bed for a while. Who knows, maybe they will take it away from us again some time soon.
Mommy and Daddy are watching the TV with the men trying to win against other men in some game. It's Russia and Finland right now and Mommy says Russians can't play fair and Finns can't play good at the moment and that she probably should forget about Finland and support Germany for this world cup, cause even they are a less lost case.

Byeeee!


P.S. Happy Meowmmy's Day, Mommy!

The bedroom and our bed and the new box with the human furs!

Phoebe and me on our bed this morning.

Phoebe on the pillowbed on the window sill.

How I met my Humans...

Hallo humans!!

Craaaazy times, I tell you.
Mommy is working now and Daddy is working still. We are alone at home during the day time. I thought that means we will have more time to blog, but we really don't. Most time goes to waste because I need to calculate food amounts. With Mommy and Daddy gone all day we have to be careful not to eat all the food up right away, cause otherwise we won't have any all day.
I found out the best way is to eat nothing all day and then loop everything down when Daddy comes home, so he will give us more.
Phoebe peed around a bit, because she thought maybe Mommy wouldn't leave her alone then. But Mommy still did, so Phoebe doesn't pee around anymore.
She also converted to Christicatnity. Some people that call themselves witnesses of some guy whose name I forgot where visiting the neighbors lately. Phoebe sat behind the door and listened to the conversation. It was about a dude called jesus who is our saviour and some stuff like that. Has something to do with a thing called Easter, too, because he died or something... and then he didn't... or... I don't know, really. But Phoebe believes everything she hears and she got all excited about that Jesus and that God and now she prays every night. Very loudly. I can't sleep then.
She prays for food (I approve), shiny fur, lots of toys, not to have pee-incidents, Mommy coming home from work sooner, many birds to watch, free cat-lives refills and so on... Well, I am sure it's just a phase.

But we had another idea for this blog... there is a show called "How I met your mother"... it's quite a hype as it seems. Basically it's some dude telling his children about how he met their mother. It takes ages.
Anyways, Phoebe wanted to do that, too, so we will.

-Ruska


Part I, how Phoebe met her humans, et voila:


"How I met my Humans
pt. I: Phoebe

I met my humans on a cold and rainy autumn day. I was living back at my very old home with my real Mom and my Mom's human Mommy and my siblings and a dog. I was small and cute and fluffy. I did not have a name yet, I was just "the black girl". Sometimes I got mixed up with my brother, wo was black, too, but he had some more white than me and also, he really wasn't a girl. I have two other brothers who are gingers and one striped sister.
It was around noon and I was very busy playing with my siblings... those, who were left. One of my ginger brothers had already been picked up by his humans a few days earlier. Our Mom had told us before that we would soon get into new families, as all our older siblings did as well. Our Mom had many babies, she was used to them leaving. For us it was a bit scary but also very exciting. I very well remember the last time I saw my brother, while his new human child girl carried him to a carrier box on her arms. He looked at us all scared and still a bit happy to be the very first one to start his adventure. His new family looked nice.
Sometimes, our Mom said, they don't look nice. We all wanted a nice looking human family.
That day I had just hidden under the sofa with the left ginger brother when the doorbell rang and our Mom's human Mommy went to open. We heard her say "Oh, you come to pick up your cat!"... and we all got excited. Who's turn would it be? Would they look nice? Who would they be?
I watched from under the sofa with my brother when they came in. The girl reminded me much of our brother who had left some days earlier. Scared and happy and with red hair. The guy had blonde hair and carried a carrier box. They looked nice. My brother called dibs immediately. I told him that that wasn't how it works. Our Mom's Mommy said "Yours is..." and started looking around the room. She looked at our sister and our black brother in the corner... no, it wasn't them... then under the sofa. She reached out and my brother ran towards her to be picked up, but she held him back and grabbed me instead. Jackpot! Born a winner!
"...this one!" She held me in front of the two humans. The girl made a weird squeaky sound and said something about "Much smaller than I thought."... her eyes grew very big and sparkly and she smiled very widely. Probably she also thought "Jackpot". The guy took me on his arm. They talked to my Mom's Mommy for a while, but I didn't listen, I was so very excited. The new family looked nice, but immediately so many other questions popped up. Where would my new home be? Would there be other cats? Or a dog? Children? Would there be enough food? Would it be yummy? Would there be toys? A lot of them? And of course the most important question every newly adopted kitty wants to know: What would my new name be?
I waved to my siblings when they put me into the box. It had a warm blanket and a toy mouse in it.
My Mom wasn't anywhere to be seen.
We went to a car and started the drive. I was in the box on the back seat, in the middle. The girl was to my front on the right, the guy left. The guy had to drive and looked in front, but the girl was turned towards me all the time. She put her fingers through the fence in the door so I could sniff them and she scratched my chin a little. She told me I didn't need to worry and we would soon be home.
We pulled over at a place with a yellow M and the guy left the car for a while. I needed a toilet as I was so excited and I squeeked a little. He soon came back with a bag that smelled nicely. We continued driving.
The girl still looked at me. Then her eyes grew wide and she looked at the guy: "PHOEBE!" she said. "What?" "Phoebe! Baby, what do you think of Phoebe? We should call her Phoebe!" "Yeah, that sounds nice." He said. The girl turned around again "Well, hello little Phoebe 'Why not Zoidberg' von Fluffy Terror!", she said to me. So that was my new name!
We soon reached the flat and went inside. "Welcome home, Phoebe!" they said. I immediately looked at everything. The girl ran after me with a camera. She loved everything I did. Even when I used the litter box, she got all excited. "BABYYYYY, look at this! She knows how to use the toilet, too!"
She then picked me up so the guy could take a picture of me on her arms. "Look little Phoebe," she said, pointing at the camera, "Daddy is taking a picture of you and Mommy. Smile!"
This is how I met my Mommy and Daddy.

This is me inspecting the flat with Mommy running after me.

This is me on the first night in my new home, watching Daddy play a game.

This is the picture Daddy took of me and Mommy.

" -Phoebe

...to be continued...