The thing with the car...

Howdie humans!

Ruska wanted to write this, but she is too busy trying to get rid of the stress rash she got from Facebook. I didn't know Facebook was that dangerous! It's all our uncle's fault! Ruska read something about a car that Daddy bough for his brother, who is our uncle. He just wanted to say that those news were missing from Ruska's blog post she published yesterday. He commented that on Facebook. Ruska read it there. I asked Mommy why she didn't tell us in the first place. After all, cars are very super exciting! Mommy said that she knows that Ruska really doesn't like cars. And I can't keep my tiny mouth shut, so telling me would not have helped either. And she really didn't want Ruska to get a stress rash. Well, so much for that. lol.
I asked Ruska why she got so stressed about a car. Not even our brother Mikko is so very scared of cars and he got hit by one once. I know that cars can be dangerous, all right. My cat Mom told me to always look left and right before crossing the street. But there are no streets in our flat. And only very small cars. So small, they can drive right through under my belly. Hihi. Maybe not Ruska's, cause her legs are pretty short. But anyways... No dangerous cars in this flat.
Ruska said, cars are never up to any good. Usually, she said, cars mean trips to the grim reaper or awful adventures. I really did not quite get what the problem with that is supposed to be. Nice lady visits and awesome adventures are great fun!
And now I am stuck with writing this, even though I was like super-busy myself. I just sat very comfortably on the pillow bed by the window and watched the sky getting greyer and greyer and bluer and then greyer again. I also watched drops of water running down the glass. Every now and then I made eye contact with a little bug outside on the window sill. I lost that now because of this nonsense. Most likely he already flew away. All because of Ruska's rash. Unbelievable.

Also, as awesome as the new space is, I figured one major problem already.... while you can speed right through from the kitchen to the sofaroom and back, the curve between the bedroom and the sofaroom is a mediocre problem. Me and Ruska crashed into walls and door frames and shoes many times already. The shoes are directly IN the curve and usually all over the place after we played catch. But that's really not our problem.

By the way, big news and a warning: don't take clothes down from the drying rack. Apparently it's forbidden. That's a bummer. And again - how could I have known?? I know I am not supposed to pee in the kitchen, so I didn't. Instead I played a little with the clothes on the drying rack. They were swinging nicely when I poked them with my paw. Some fell down. Didn't think it was bad. Mommy takes them down at some point anyways and she doesn't even like taking them down, so I guessed it was good I helped.
I was wrong. But at least she didn't get angry. She said at least I didn't pee anywhere and that's good.

Drying racks are useless anyways. And so fragile! I just wanted to check if that Mommy's bag that I had peed on was still smelling like pee. Cause if yes I would have tried to wash it again, so she wouldn't be angry. It didn't smell anymore. It smelled like "Summerfresh". Also, the drying rack fell over. With me. Happened already once this night while playing. Luckily, said Mommy, it was only the one with the bags and some bedsheets... so not everything fell off when it fell over. I think she might have been more annoyed if I had tried to climb onto the one in the sofaroom with all the human fur on it.

One never stops learning!

So long,
Phööbi

Many spaces!

Hello hoomans!

It's been a while. Many things happened, I was too busy processing all the information in my tiny, furry head, so I really didn't have a free head for blog postings. Phoebe said she wants to read the story of "How I met my humans".... my version, I mean. I don't know. Probably it would bore everyone. I'm not that good of a story teller, you know? I am better with being... well, fluffy and awesome.
Also, there are more important things happening!

A friend of Mommy's was here for some days. We could sleep next to her on the sofa, which was a bed, so that was fun. Then Mommy and Daddy both got very sick and didn't need to go to work and were lying on the sofa, which was also a bed then, so that was fun, too. We watched a lot of the TV with the weird people that talk weirdly and that kill each other and there are horses and a tiny guy and an asshole (sorry, I am not supposed to use that word), but the asshole (sorry) died and that was fun. It's about a throne, too, I think.

Then we watched a show with many hoomans who are sick and one hooman grim reaper who wants to heal them but then he doesn't, because he is grumpyhuman. He walks on a stick and he is what Mommy calls "sarcastic". I find him entertaining. He reminds me of myself. The show is about a house, too, if I got that right.

I also had some quality times with Mommy. We watched a show together that Phoebe and Daddy don't want to watch. There are humans having superabilities or something. There is one that can smell and see very good and one can make other humans do whatever she tells them too. I'd like to have that skill, it would solve the food problem for good. There is also a guy who is weird. Mommy says he is weird because he has a psychological thing called autism and that is veryvery hard to act that and that the human who acts it is really good. She wants to marry him, too, I think.


Phoebe was peeing much again. The other day she peed on all of Mommy's bags at once. Mommy told Daddy she would give Phoebe away and she cried and seemed serious. But later she was hugging and cuddling Phoebe and said she would never give her away, even if she peed on everything.

I had the feeling Phoebe was a little unhappy. I don't know why, but she wasn't purring much. I mean, she is never purring very much, I am the famous diesel engine in this household, but still. She was like not purring at all. She seems happier now, because (and that was supposed to be the actual content of this blog post) things changed very muchy.

Some days ago Daddy and Mommy carried big pieces of wood to the flat. It was exhausting I think. We had to wait in the kitchen so we only heard them cursing and then there were pieces of wood, so I did the math.
They wanted to build a box out of it... or something. But they couldn't cause something was missing.
But then they finally started building it and on Friday and yesterday they were building a lot. Mommy got a small breakdown because of the chaos. I think she might be allergic to chaos. I should take her to the grim reaper soonish. Daddy said it's because she realizes we live here now and won't go back to the old place anytime soon. I don't know. They carried much more stuff yesterday while we were waiting in the kitchen once again. This time from the flat to out of the flat.
And then when it was very late already the bedroom was there!! There was something reminding me of a bedroom before when we were allowed to take a look every now and then, but now it is a real one! There is many spaces and no chaos and the door is always open for kittycat inspection. I very much like this. Mommy put a pillow and a towel on the window sill and Phoebe sleeps there all the time and loves it and she is purring more than I have ever heard her purring.
Daddy says maybe she won't pee anymore now. I doubt it.
Now I will go back to lie on the bed for a while. Who knows, maybe they will take it away from us again some time soon.
Mommy and Daddy are watching the TV with the men trying to win against other men in some game. It's Russia and Finland right now and Mommy says Russians can't play fair and Finns can't play good at the moment and that she probably should forget about Finland and support Germany for this world cup, cause even they are a less lost case.

Byeeee!


P.S. Happy Meowmmy's Day, Mommy!

The bedroom and our bed and the new box with the human furs!

Phoebe and me on our bed this morning.

Phoebe on the pillowbed on the window sill.

How I met my Humans...

Hallo humans!!

Craaaazy times, I tell you.
Mommy is working now and Daddy is working still. We are alone at home during the day time. I thought that means we will have more time to blog, but we really don't. Most time goes to waste because I need to calculate food amounts. With Mommy and Daddy gone all day we have to be careful not to eat all the food up right away, cause otherwise we won't have any all day.
I found out the best way is to eat nothing all day and then loop everything down when Daddy comes home, so he will give us more.
Phoebe peed around a bit, because she thought maybe Mommy wouldn't leave her alone then. But Mommy still did, so Phoebe doesn't pee around anymore.
She also converted to Christicatnity. Some people that call themselves witnesses of some guy whose name I forgot where visiting the neighbors lately. Phoebe sat behind the door and listened to the conversation. It was about a dude called jesus who is our saviour and some stuff like that. Has something to do with a thing called Easter, too, because he died or something... and then he didn't... or... I don't know, really. But Phoebe believes everything she hears and she got all excited about that Jesus and that God and now she prays every night. Very loudly. I can't sleep then.
She prays for food (I approve), shiny fur, lots of toys, not to have pee-incidents, Mommy coming home from work sooner, many birds to watch, free cat-lives refills and so on... Well, I am sure it's just a phase.

But we had another idea for this blog... there is a show called "How I met your mother"... it's quite a hype as it seems. Basically it's some dude telling his children about how he met their mother. It takes ages.
Anyways, Phoebe wanted to do that, too, so we will.

-Ruska


Part I, how Phoebe met her humans, et voila:


"How I met my Humans
pt. I: Phoebe

I met my humans on a cold and rainy autumn day. I was living back at my very old home with my real Mom and my Mom's human Mommy and my siblings and a dog. I was small and cute and fluffy. I did not have a name yet, I was just "the black girl". Sometimes I got mixed up with my brother, wo was black, too, but he had some more white than me and also, he really wasn't a girl. I have two other brothers who are gingers and one striped sister.
It was around noon and I was very busy playing with my siblings... those, who were left. One of my ginger brothers had already been picked up by his humans a few days earlier. Our Mom had told us before that we would soon get into new families, as all our older siblings did as well. Our Mom had many babies, she was used to them leaving. For us it was a bit scary but also very exciting. I very well remember the last time I saw my brother, while his new human child girl carried him to a carrier box on her arms. He looked at us all scared and still a bit happy to be the very first one to start his adventure. His new family looked nice.
Sometimes, our Mom said, they don't look nice. We all wanted a nice looking human family.
That day I had just hidden under the sofa with the left ginger brother when the doorbell rang and our Mom's human Mommy went to open. We heard her say "Oh, you come to pick up your cat!"... and we all got excited. Who's turn would it be? Would they look nice? Who would they be?
I watched from under the sofa with my brother when they came in. The girl reminded me much of our brother who had left some days earlier. Scared and happy and with red hair. The guy had blonde hair and carried a carrier box. They looked nice. My brother called dibs immediately. I told him that that wasn't how it works. Our Mom's Mommy said "Yours is..." and started looking around the room. She looked at our sister and our black brother in the corner... no, it wasn't them... then under the sofa. She reached out and my brother ran towards her to be picked up, but she held him back and grabbed me instead. Jackpot! Born a winner!
"...this one!" She held me in front of the two humans. The girl made a weird squeaky sound and said something about "Much smaller than I thought."... her eyes grew very big and sparkly and she smiled very widely. Probably she also thought "Jackpot". The guy took me on his arm. They talked to my Mom's Mommy for a while, but I didn't listen, I was so very excited. The new family looked nice, but immediately so many other questions popped up. Where would my new home be? Would there be other cats? Or a dog? Children? Would there be enough food? Would it be yummy? Would there be toys? A lot of them? And of course the most important question every newly adopted kitty wants to know: What would my new name be?
I waved to my siblings when they put me into the box. It had a warm blanket and a toy mouse in it.
My Mom wasn't anywhere to be seen.
We went to a car and started the drive. I was in the box on the back seat, in the middle. The girl was to my front on the right, the guy left. The guy had to drive and looked in front, but the girl was turned towards me all the time. She put her fingers through the fence in the door so I could sniff them and she scratched my chin a little. She told me I didn't need to worry and we would soon be home.
We pulled over at a place with a yellow M and the guy left the car for a while. I needed a toilet as I was so excited and I squeeked a little. He soon came back with a bag that smelled nicely. We continued driving.
The girl still looked at me. Then her eyes grew wide and she looked at the guy: "PHOEBE!" she said. "What?" "Phoebe! Baby, what do you think of Phoebe? We should call her Phoebe!" "Yeah, that sounds nice." He said. The girl turned around again "Well, hello little Phoebe 'Why not Zoidberg' von Fluffy Terror!", she said to me. So that was my new name!
We soon reached the flat and went inside. "Welcome home, Phoebe!" they said. I immediately looked at everything. The girl ran after me with a camera. She loved everything I did. Even when I used the litter box, she got all excited. "BABYYYYY, look at this! She knows how to use the toilet, too!"
She then picked me up so the guy could take a picture of me on her arms. "Look little Phoebe," she said, pointing at the camera, "Daddy is taking a picture of you and Mommy. Smile!"
This is how I met my Mommy and Daddy.

This is me inspecting the flat with Mommy running after me.

This is me on the first night in my new home, watching Daddy play a game.

This is the picture Daddy took of me and Mommy.

" -Phoebe

...to be continued...

Baby Ruskas and furless Ruskas

Hi there!

Ruska lost one of her excuses today. She tends to say that she is not fat, just well-furred. Well, as a matter of fact, she isn't well-furred anymore, cause Daddy bought a defurring machine! It's like a comb and a lot of fur leaves when you comb a cat with it. Ruska says it's probably a conspiracy and that she feels very naked now. I think it was only a little tickly but otherwise it was fun to be de-furred. We are very silky now. So smooth. So petable. So fluffy.

Daddy de-furrs Ruska...

My de-furred fur and Ruska's de-furred fur.

Also Mommy said something about getting a second Ruska. It sounded very complicated. She said she always wanted to know how Ruska looked as a baby, cause she was probably adorable. I doubt she was as adorable as I am even now, but who knows. So to get a baby Ruska you need to send a bit of Ruska's fur to somewhere and pay manymanymuch money and then a while later the somewhere will send you back a baby Ruska. Or something like that. The baby Ruska would be exactly like Ruska, just a baby. But it would grow and then they would eat all my food away. Mommy said it also could happen that something goes wring with making the baby Ruska, cause humans are not yet so good in copying animals. So it might be that first we get some one-eared, three-legged Ruska's that look like baby elephants. And she seemed to find the idea amusing. I decided I will save up some money and send some of my fur to somewhere and then they can send me a Phoebe Army. We would have so much fun together. Mommy said it costs 250.000 dollars. That is probably not much, right? I don't know so much about money, you know. But I should have saved up that money quickly.

Also, the flat smells very nicely again since yesterday! It was smelling weird the weeks before and I felt uncomfortable. Mommy also put up a new litterbox. Now we have 3. One in the kitchen and 2 in the bathroom. That was the idea of a friend of Mommy. Because they say that a litterbox in the kitchen is disgusting but my pee in the kitchen even more so. Hmmm.
The new litterbox is huuuuuuge. Ruska likes it. She says id very spacious and comfortable. I better won't tell her what Mommy said about it.
I quote: "That's even big enough for Ruska's enormous rear to fit in." Hihi.

-Phoebe

I don't always love mice...

...but when I do, Mommy has probably sprayed them with catnip.

-Ruska

Soccer and PhoePee

Hi!

Oh, wow, I'm so exhausted!
Just finished a wild soccer game against Mommy. I am not quite sure who won. Probably me. Mommy is very good in soccer. I am too... because I am superfast.
So superfast that sometimes my feet slip away and I fall on my belly. Luckily I am well-furred, so it does not hurt too much. Phoebe was playing with us for a while, but she is more a fan of the game we played before soccer. Mommy throws our toys from the scratching tree to the other end of the living room or the hallway and we have to run and catch them. It is fun, but I like soccer more. There is only one ball involved and not so many toys to clean up afterwards. Even though it is Mommy who cleans them up anyways.
Wow. I really would need some food now, after all that sports. But of course the bowls are empty again... ugh, gosh. Well, at least Mommy saved my food from Phoebe today, so I still have some bit in my belly.

Phoebe turned into PhoePee again.On Saturday and yesterday she was bored and wanted Mommy to give her attention. Unfortunately Mommy was too busy at the exact moments when Phoebe wanted attention, so she could not give her attention. Phoebe said something about "I'll show her." and then peed somewhere in the flat where she knew Mommy would go soon and step in. And Mommy did step in. Two times. On Saturday she was very angry and went to the shops to get out right after the incident. But yesterday that wasn't an option, as she just came from the shops. So instead she screamed at Phoebe. Dude, I have never heard her screaming like that. She told she would find another family for Phoebe and then Phoebe would wish she would have appreciated the attention she gets here, because the new family would not give a fuck about her. And she would never get cuddled and never talked to and she couldn't write a blog and wouldn't get candy. And they would only feed her crappy food and maybe only once a day and eventually in a few years Phoebe would die from kidney failure or diabetes or another bad sickness that cats can get from crappy food! I just looked at Mommy with biiig eyes. I have really never seen her so angry.
Phoebe sat under the scratching tree and cried and shivered and said she was sorry and she didn't want to leave and die. And then Mommy started crying because she felt like a bad Mommy and because she had screamed so much at Phoebe, so she hugged Phoebe and told her why she was upset about what Phoebe did and then we got loooooots of candy.
Lets see when Phoebe will pee again. Can't wait for Mommy's reaction.
So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

The Drain Disaster

It appears our flat is broken.
Or something like that. At least something is very wrong with it.
I guess it's a conspiracy and probably also has to do with the cat food.

Lately when Mommy is washing our food bowls and human food bowls it starts smelling really weird. But not in the kitchen, where she is washing them, but in the litterboxroom! That's odd. Maybe ghosts? The ghosts of the lost cat food? I don't know.
The more she washes, the more it smells. And dirty water is flooding into the tub where our litterboxes are in. I though humans wash things so they smell better... I don't know. Mommy seems to be annoyed by it, Daddy too. They say it has to do with something called drains. And with the old house that our flat is in.
Yesterday Mommy bought a bottle of dangerous stuff. They said when you put it into those drains then there is no water getting stuck. Mommy wore a dish cloth in front of her nose and mouth and pink rubber gloves and she did something in the litterboxroom and we weren't allowed to go there. Our one litterbox is in the hallway. She went in there many times and did things many times. But it still didn't fix it, apparently. Today she used the dangerous stuff in the kitchen, after they had opened the space under the litterboxtub and looked at the drains. Mommy stuffed the black thing into the hole in the litterboxtub, that keeps the water from getting out. Turns out, this way it keeps the water from getting IN and also the bad smell away. She says the problem is solved now. I'm not sure if that is really true, but she is happy.

Mommy is also baking much lately. She comes up with her own recipes and makes muffins. They smell freaking delicious! I don't get any, of course. It's not fair. Today she asked Daddy what muffins she should make. I stood next to them and told her to make cat food muffins. She ignored me and kept asking Daddy what muffins she should make. GOSH, humans are impossible. As my escaping plans are on ice right now, maybe I should get started on catfoodmuffinplans. I watched Mommy making muffins, it can't be too hard. I just put cat food into the moulds and put it to the oven.

Mommy and I have a new game, too.
I realized the thread she uses to clean her teeth is exceptionally interesting. I try to catch it when she holds it. I need to stand up for that and apparently I look very cute when I do that. I can imagine. I am a cute cat.

Unfortunately I am too fast for Mommy's slow mobile camera.
But you get the idea.

-Ruska