Parachuting canceled due to window-problems.

Parachute plan canceled.
Everything seemed to work perfectly fine. I managed - with Phoebe's help - to knot myself into some belts and attach the cuddly blanket from the sofa to it. I stole one of Mommy's scarfs and wrapped it around my head for protection. Did not find any glasses, but decided it had to work without them. I could already smell freedom and tons of food. Ruska ready for take off.... - and then I didn't manage to open the window.
Well, it is unfortunate, but I will find another solution eventually. To be honest, parachuting sounds a little bit scary after all. Maybe I should pack myself in a box and send it somewhere. I bet you can find petfoodshopadresses on the internet. That would be a marvelous place to send myself to. Then again... I'd probably be in cars. With the box. That would maybe be too scary, too. If I... no, way too scary.
An adoption ad online! Pawesome! No, wait... if I get adopted, that means new humans.... maybe other cats... maybe they have dogs... maybe even less food. No, no, that's not good.
I think maybe I should stay here. Yeah, that sounds good. Yes.

It is not too bad here, actually. If I think about it. At least we get food and it tastes really good. And on Saturday we had a women's night with Mommy. Phoebe was too small, she was playing on her own. First I watched Mommy sitting in the big box in which our litterboxes are usually. It was filled with water and extremely suspicious. She asked me if I wanted to come in, but it was too scary. And I think maybe she wasn't all serious about that.
Afterwards we watched a movie called Sex and the City. It's for women. I am a woman. Cat...woman. Anyways, it was fun. I tried to steal Mommy's chocolate, but she said I couldn't have it. I didn't get wine either. But I got some treats. It's something!

When it come to the food situation - things have gone from bad to worse. I actually caught Phoebe eating the rest of the food in my bowl today. It's supposed to be the other way around. That is just so wrong.

-Ruska

This was my parachuting helmet.

Parachute-Ruska

Hello humans!

Oh, boy, what a weird devil's day! Daddy was home, you know? Daddy is usually always at work at devil's day, but today he was home. In fact, he was the one deviling today, Mommy only needed to mop. They were gone for a while during the day to look at animals. I really don't understand that. After all, they have two perfectly fine and very watchable animals right here. Hello. *waves*
In the evening they were planning to watch other Finnish humans. Or something like that. When they came home, Mommy didn't feel too well. She was whining around and lying on the sofa. She looked pretty much like Ruska actually. Hihi. She said she had ice coffee and it didn't do any good to her stomach. Ice coffee. That sounds delicious. I ate ice cream once. No, actually twice. But I only got a wee bit, cause Mommy said it is not good for my? RIGHT - stomach! And now she has a lot of ice cream with coffee herself and then she gets all confused about why her stomach does not like it? Really, I don't understand humans.

Ruska is planning her escape since yesterday. She does not like the new regulation of less food. She made plans all night. I think they involve a parachute. I am not so sure if a parachuting Ruska is the best idea. She is even afraid of the mop, I bet parachuting is much more scary.

Here is a part of Ruska's plan. She drew it herself.

I just hope the heaven thing is not meant literally. I mean, she does not even have a parachute. She says she is going to take care of it. Oh, god.

I have to say I like the new food regulation. As we get smaller portions I manage to eat mine all up. Ruska, too, obviously. Then we can't eat before we get more. And by then I am hungry again and manage the smaller portion again. So in the end I always get all the food that is meant for me and Ruska can't steal any. She really should lose some weight anyways. I wonder if the parachute would even hold her. If she had one.

The only thing that worries me is the warning sign next to the food bowls. It looks like this:

In case you can't clearly see it, it says
"Planning on...
...peeing somewhere?
...stealing treats?
...climbing somewhere you don't belong?

...destroying something?

...scratching Mommy?
...making a mess?
THINK TWICE"
and then there is the picture of a cat which is nailed to the wall through its ears! D:
Ruska says the cat in the picture is supposed to me be. There is some resemblance... maybe... but that is only by accident I am sure.

Last but not least: here is my awesome selfie from yesterday!

#hipstercat #yoln

(yoln is not a typo, cats don't live only once, suckaaaas!)

Byeee!
-Pheebs

PhoePiece and PhoePee

Times are getting rough, I can tell you.
Foodwise, mostly. Also otherwise, sometimes.

Mommy decided that I am getting too fat and that she has to put me on a diet. She is shooing me away whenever I get close to Phoebe's bowl. I. AM. JUST. WELL. FURRED. And hungry. Very hungry. I might die of hunger. Also, Mommy loves Phoebe more than me. Yesterday after she gave us dinner, she would put some kibbles in Phoebe's bowl, so Phoebe would eat more of the wet food under them. Because, she said, if Phoebe eats as little as usual and Mommy goes to bed, then she can't check if I eat all the rest of Phoebe's food. Which I might do, indeed, yes. But ONLY because I am hungry. Not because I am fat. Those two things are like totally unrelated!
And as if all of that wasn't enough, the portions we get are a lot smaller than before! WHAAAT? Mommy says that is because I always eat all the rest and Phoebe only gets a few bites. If there is less food in total then Phoebe still only gets a few bites, but there is a smaller rest for me to eat. That does not make any sense whatsoever. I am seriously thinking of calling animal rescue. I am severely mistreated here, yes I am.

Phoebe starts getting bored again, too. And that does not mean any good. If Phoebe gets bored it usually means that something breaks or she gets into some kind of trouble with Mommy. Like the other night when we played tag. Mommy had left her wineglass on the sofa table and I told Phoebe to be careful when chasing after me, cause Mommy surely would not be amused if we threw it over. After all, Phoebe is already responsible for the deaths of two other wineglasses.
So we were playing and I was running over the table, of course next to the glass, and Phoebe was chasing after me and I just hear a loud clank and Phoebe saying "Whoops" and the glass is in thousand pieces on the sofaroom floor. Right and then they say I am the fat one. I at least manage to fit perfectly past the glass without dropping it, unlike oh so slim Phoebe. Daddy immediately came out of the bedroom to see what happened, and Phoebe hid in our box castle. However, Daddy didn't switch the light on, so he said to Mommy that there was nothing and he left. I already thought Phoebe got away with it once again, but a while later Mommy came out mumbling something about "better saving that wineglass". Uh oh.
Of course she got very angry when she saw that there was nothing to save anymore. And she cursed about Phoebe and about Daddy, because he hadn't noticed and about how she could not sleep anymore now. I was sitting next to her and told her that it was Phoebe and that I had told Phoebe that she should be careful and that I really tried to help and Phoebe didn't listen and Phoebe is very bad-mannered cat and that I try my best in telling her right from wrong and that I can only do so much, cause, you know, what's lost is lo- and then Mommy snarled at me to shut it. Whaaaat? It is really not fair! She didn't even listen! I am the good one here! In fact, I am the victim! We are both victims! PhoePiece's victims! (I decided to call her PhoePiece, cause she leaves things in pieces. Hihi.)

PhoePee returned as well. I guessed it couldn't be too good that Mommy bragged about how Phoebe didn't pee anywhere but the litterbox anymore since we moved. Well, yesterday she did. Right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's nose basically. Despite they didn't notice until it started smelling. I asked Phoebe why she would do that. After all, Phoebe had decided to not pee on things anymore, as she was too old for that already. Yeah right. Phoebe said, that Mommy and Daddy were only looking at movies and not at her and that she doesn't like that. And guess what? Now she gets even more attention than she already gets all the time, because Mommy and Daddy are so worried that she will pee again. Maybe I should pee somewhere, too, to get my will. Maybe into the food bowls. No wait, that is disgusting. Maybe into Phoebe's bowl only? No wait, I eat from that, too. Well, then next to the food bowls. Yeah, I might as well just to that.

Today Mommy was playing with Phoebe and Phoebe clawed into Mommy's foot and then Mommy was bleeding. But Mommy still laughed about it. It is incredible! That little monster can just do whatever it wants without getting any punishment!

-frustrated Ruska

Here' PhoePee and Mommy's foot.

Clearing some common misunderstandings! aka. I AM NOT FAT!

Hello.

I. Am. Upset.

People do not take me serious. Everyone makes fun of me. All the time.
So now I will have to put some things clear:

1. I am not fat, I am well-furred.
2. I do not run like a walrus, I run very cutely.
3. I do not wobble, there just aren't bras for cat bellies.
4. I do not eat too much, I get too little food.
5. I do not have a boy's face, I have distinctive outlines.
6. I am not a spastic, I just sometimes lose control of my neck-muscles.

Did we sort that out now, yes?
Well, that is great. Lately I have been accused of all of the above several times. People enjoy it most, when they can draw a comparison with Phoebe at the same time. Phoebe is petite. Phoebe runs svelte like a gazelle. Phoebe is so muscular. Phoebe only eats tiny bits of food. Phoebe has a cute little face. Phoebe never shakes her head weirdly. Phoebe...pfffffffff.

And as if that all was not yet enough, Mommy has left us alone all day. She went to grandma and spare-grandpa and dug around in their garden. I don't know what a garden is, is it like a litter box? Whatever... there was no food all day and nobody to clean our litter boxes.
Then it stroke me! Mommy can never find a job! We would always be foodless from the morning to the evening! Maybe I should start writing emails after Mommy has send applications and spread some rumors about her. "Don't hire her, she never gives her cats enough food." Maybe... I don't know. Might be too mean. "Ruska is so mean. Phoebe is so nice. Mömömömööööblalaaaablablaa." Pff.

Also, I was very happy that the drawing of me looked much better than the drawing of Phoebe. I am so pretty, one has to be able to draw me perfectly. Unfortunately, Mommy started drawing other pictures. She drew our sister Lotta who passed away and Daddy with our brother Mutteri and granny Minttu and then a dog. And I don't want to admit it, but they all look much better than me. I mean, than my drawing. Nobody looks better than me.

Maybe I should learn how to draw.
That would be quite sensational.

Mommy also got a new Bob-book. I am excited. I watched the cover of it for quite a while. There is a picture of Bob on it. Such a handsome cat. I wonder if he would agree on going on a date with me? *blush*


-Ruska

Throwback Thursday!

Here is Ruska and me the first time she let me sit next to here without hissing.

Here is me when I stole a warm towelblanket from the laundry bag.

Here is me with my real siblings and dog-friend!

I am the black kitten on the right.

My real Mommy's Mommy took the picture to show it to my human Mommy.

So much for Throwback Thursday! Hihi!
I made peace with Ruska yesterday, she said she doesn't hate me. I don't hate her either, but it is mean that she eats my food. She said she'd never do it again. I don't believe her. But it's the thought that counts. Earlier she even kinds tried to eat my food WHILE I was eating it myself... I asked her what she was doing, she said "Nothing." and started licking my head. Then she jumped over me and ate her own food. Oh, well...

Ruska also said that Mommy does not really hate me. I want to believe it, but I am still not sure. Today Mommy said mean things again. She cleaned some sticky stuff off the kitchen floor and she was a little annoyed. The sticky stuff comes from funny sticky things, that Daddy put under the legs of the chairs and table the other day. Apparently they are supposed to protect them, but I think it is much more fun to play with them. It is tricky to get them out, you know, as the chairs and table are heavy and they are standing on them. But I managed. Mommy seems to disagree with my idea of fun, though. She said that next time she sees either of us trying to get those thingies out, she will use us to scrub the residue off the floor.

That is not nice. I have to be careful to only play that game when Mommy isn't watching.

Byeee,
Phoebe

Mimimi...

...mimimimimimimimimimi....
Nyyyhyyyhy... hyy....

*sniff*
Ruska is evil. *rubs head* Ruska hit me! Mommy always says that you shouldn't hit nobody! Humans shouldn't hit humans and humans shouldn't hit cats and cats shouldn't hit humans and cats shouldn't hit cats! But Ruska hit me! And Mommy saw it! She even laughed about it! *sniff**holds head*
I want to get adopted. Ruska is mean. I think Ruska maybe hates me. Mommy maybe, too. And everyone likes Ruska more than me and.... *bursts into tears and runs away*

*munch**chew**munch*
*looks left**munch**looks right*
Hello? Anyone here? Hm....
Oh, I see.... little one took it personally. Okay, well, maybe I was a little rough, but you know...? One has to fight for one's food. Yeah, I admit, I didn't think far enough when I wrote about stealing Phoebe's food, because of course Phoebe read it here and got all upset. Duh. Stupid me. Well, can't think of everything. Anymeow, we almost got burgers earlier. I mean, almost real burgers! Mommy was cutting the meat that is in burgers to turn it into human food. She made two little plates ready, so we could have some as well.
As always, she carefully checked that we both get exactly the same amount as not to be unfair. So far so good...

Noms!

I enjoyed my portion, as I always do. Also, I gotta admit, it is pretty exhausting to chew that stuff. Phoebe was done in no time and then came over to look at my plate. She asked if she could have some... well, she asked at least, but of course I denied. Then she said something about me always eating her food when she leaves and it was only fair to turn the game around and she took a piece of my meat. Wooooohooooo, sloooowly, little one! I showed her that this wasn't going to happen, hissed at her and smacked her face.
I don't think Mommy laughed cause she hates Phoebe, but Phoebe's face was pretty awesome indeed.

Mommy started drawing again. She said she did that a while ago... like many years ago. She never drew cats though and she said it's a pain in the butt, because of all the fur. And Phoebe was a bigger pain in the butt, because of all the black. She is not very happy with the results. She says she screwed up Phoebe's eyes and my mouth. That is true. Anyways, my beauty can't be caught in a drawing. Not even a photograph.
Mommy said, if she cuts both pictures in half and puts my eyes and Phoebe's mouth together, then it is a pretty perfect cat. Well, that would look funny.

Weird-eyed Phoebe.

Weird-mouthed me.

Now I guess I should look for Phoebe. She apparently took that little incident personally. I almost feel a little sorry.

-Ruska

Phoebe's Food Paradox

Hello humans!

I know, it has been a while again... it is not easy lately. Mommy's head is full of not having a job. That is funny in a way, cause if you don't have something, how can your head be full of it? My head is never full of food, cause there is never enough of it... for example.
Anyways, because her head is full she spends more and more time on the machine. Looking for works or playing games on Facebook or reading in forums or watching some humans in red uniforms that can fly and help other humans. It is hard to find a time to write something for me and Phoebe. Mommy was even at a point talking about not letting us write anything anymore at all, cause she said that not many people are reading anymore and it would all be in vain. And that she needs the machine for other things. IT'S MADNESS! I tried to explain to her, that she should instead give us food more often. She said those two things are not related. Nonsense, everyone knows that food is the answer to everything.

The food situation has become critical.
Sometimes it takes many hours before we get more food. Mommy says, that is only because we eat much faster than we used to. Excuses. I came up with a brilliant idea... I am eating the food from Phoebe's bowl when nobody notices, after she left it. When she is coming back, she will find her bowl empty, and because she is believing in the good of everything, everyone and everycat she doesn't suspect it was me, but thinks she ate it herself and just forgot about it. Because she knows that she should only eat from her own bowl, she won't touch mine either. So I can come later and take my time to eat my own portion. Brilliant, isn't it?
What? What do you mean "that's evil"? One has to survive somehow in this cruel world! What would you do?
Well, sadly enough, Mommy got behind my brilliant trick and now she keeps shooing me away from Phoebe's bowl every time she sees me eating from it. That's unfortunate.

I really wish I was a human. They can eat whenever and whatever they want. Even cheese!
Mommy and Daddy were talking about burgers a lot on the weekend. I don't quite know exactly what a burger is, but the way they talked about it sounded like it is the best thing ever. Yesterday they went for burgers, because Mommy's friend from Finland was visiting. She is staying in Frankfurt as well, but without cats and not as long as we. She was nice. I slept next to her.
Anymeow, they went for burgers and I told them I wanted to join. As loud as I could.
Then Mommy indeed said, that I could have some too! I got excited! As you know, that happens rarely, but I really wanted to taste the burger thing! Burgers have cheese sometimes, you know? That's what Phoebe said. I don't know how she knows but it sounds about right. As burgers are awesome and so is cheese.
She went to the kitchen and filled food into our bowls and gave us a treat with chicken and cheese (yes, they sell that, wheee!) each. I waited next to the door while Phoebe ate her food and was all excited about the yummy treat. Then they left. I was still next to the door. They forgot me! Can you believe that?
Phoebe said, that Mommy didn't mean we could have burgers, too, but she meant the treats with the cheese. Well, that can't be right!? I think they just forgot me. I'm deeply hurt. Well, maybe next time.

I found out about another weird thing humans do. At least here, not in Finland though.
This time of the year they dress up as something they are not and then they have fun. They all it carnival. Yeah, as I said, weird.
Phoebe got incredibly excited of course and wanted to do a carnival as well. Ugh, god, no. She always wanted to be a dragon, so she dressed up as a dragon. I didn't want to dress up. Phoebe said I shouldn't be a party pooper. So I put on my crown and said I was a queen. Phoebe was happy. Not that my crown would be a costume, I am awesome, it is part of my normal accessories. But what does that little black kitten know?

This is our costumes.

Byyyee!
Ruska

P.S.:
Rest in Peace, little Pounci!
Too bad we didn't have the chance to get to know you...

Our Granny will take care of you now.
Hugs to your Mommy and sister Misto!
-Phoebe & Ruska & Mommy