Ruska is the Queen of effin' Everything!

HELLO HUMANS!!!

We have not been here in a while, because we were busy being on adventuuuures!!
Yes, yes, indeed!

We went on a vacation!
You better believe it!
On an actual, real vacation!
Mommy and Daddy went on a vacation to. To the Finland, where we used to live, you know. In the meantime, to not be home alone all the time, we went to a place called the catcave.
It is probably the best place on earth! The catcave is the place where Mommy's friend lives. The one who always came to feed us when we stayed at home during Mommy's and Daddy's vacation.
But she does not live there alone, no no!
She has cats, too.
Three boy cats. They are totally cool and awesome and not as boring and Ruska.
Also, I think they are my BFFs now. I think. I'm not sure. I hope.
I mean, they are my BFFs for sure! At least Joker is!

Ruska did not like the place all too much at first, so I pretended I didn't like it either.
Of course I loved it all the time, but I have to stay loyal with Ruska, you know?

But also Ruska started enjoying it. There is a lot of food and company. Not only cats, also a fishy, a living one, which is not food (Maurice told me he dropped into the fishtank once and it wasn't funny!) and also a weird longish thing. Like a very flat cat with very short legs... and with an armour instead of fur. Ruska looked into some books and came to the conclusion that it is actually a dragon with a beard. That is nonsense, dragons only exist in fairytales!

Oh well, that is how Ruska rolls. She has been telling a lot of stories during the past months. I believed all of them. I believed the one where she met Elvis Presley, cause it sounded plausible. Also the one where she flew her own little double-decker airplane (she told me it is red). And the one of how she fought a dinosaur and died, which is how she lost one of her nine lives.

Mommy then told me that all of that is made up, so Ruska could feel important.
I am in kind of a pickle there.
I think Mommy knows very much. Humans usually know more than cats. But Ruska is my very best sister-friend, why would she lie to me?
Mommy also said according to Ruska's stories cats must have some hundred lives, cause Ruska actually dies heroically in quite a lot of her stories.

But then again, Ruska, acoording to herself, is the queen of effin' everything, so I guess that is okay.

Here is Ruska I, Queen of effin' Everything
...she even has a crown.

Anyways, I was even a bit sad when Mommy and Daddy came to pick us up. For a second there, I thought we could stay at the catcave forever.
Ruska actually breathed into her paperbag and got a stress rash for the first 4 days there, cause she thought Mommy and Daddy do not love us anymore. But Ruska tends to be overly dramatic.

I think Mommy and Daddy enjoyed that we were at catcave. Especially cause I am so full of impressions and adventure that I completely forgot to pee on the floor lately.
Also, Joker told me that Luke sometimes pees on the floor and that he thinks that is totally stupid. Of course I needed to say that I find it totally stupid as well. What would he have thought of me?

Buuuut luckily Mommy and Daddy brought a lot of goodies, so it is not so bad being back home. I think Finland has better treats than Germany.

Look at them:

I like the funny-looking cats on the bags. And the treats are delicious! There are fishies and pillowsies.

Mommy and Daddy also brought new fur for the bed from Finland. But there was too little cat fur on it, so Ruska took care of that:

Actually, I think the fur thing might have been an excuse she used, so she would not have to admit that she missed Mommy and wanted to cuddle with her. With Ruska you never know.

Good night, humans!!

-Pheebs

HELP! THIRST! The water is GONE!

Hello humans....

You need to help me! I think I am going to die.
Mommy and Daddy took all our water bowls away. They want us to dry out!
It all started yesterday, when they brought tons of cat food home and I already thought we were in paradise!

Look how much food they brought!

The odd thing is the box in the back. There is a weird machine in there. Daddy put the weird machine on the floor in the living room. There is water in there and it is moving all the time.
Daddy also took our other two water bowls away from us. I am confused. If we don't drink, we will die.

Mommy and Daddy keep running after us and placing us in front of the weird thing and point at it and sound all excited and squirt water in our faces. They tell us we should drink from it. ARE THEY CRAZY? I mean, we might fall in and die. I don't trust the machine. I really don't. Mommy even gave us dry food for breakfast. We almost never get dry food as Mommy says it is not that good for cats. But she gave us a lot of it this morning and giggled and told Daddy that now we would drink for sure. I promised myself I wasn't gonna fall for it... the problem is, I really like dry food. So I ate some of it and then some more and then still a little more. And I got thirstier and thirstier, I am super thirsty now, BUT OUR WATER BOWLS ARE GONE! Mommy and Daddy want us to die. I am sure of it. They want us to dry right out.

But the craziest thing ever is - earlier I caught Phoebe - DRINKING FROM THE WEIRD THING! She says the water tastes very fresh, because there is a filter in the thing. That can't be right, water is supposed to have cat hair in it. Lots. Also some litter. And maybe a toy or two! Phoebe also says it is much more fun to drink, because it is moving. And she does not have to bend down to drink, as the thing is much higher than our water bowls. That is insane! Everyone here is totally insane.
Mommy is insane! She always giggles when Phoebe drinks from the weird thing. Phoebe drinks a lot more than before, because she says the new thing is so much fun to drink. THAT IS WHY MOMMY GIGGLES! Because Phoebe is going to DIE FROM IT! Soon. SOOOON!

I have to go. I need to find a source of water. Urgently. I am SO thirsty and no water anywhere near! Huah!

-Ruska

THING! I don't trust you, you THING!

We will get a new sibling!

Hoomans! Hoomans!

Great news! I will finally get a new friend to play with.
Yes, yes, it is true! Mommy and Daddy have been talking about it a lot lately. They want to adopt a new pet. Not a cat, no. Not a dog either. Way better - a coconut crab! Even better - a coconut crab baby. An egg to be precise.
We will put it in my cuddly bed and I can sit on it and hatch it and then it will call me Mommy! Because it will think I am its Mommy!
Also we can run around the flat with it and then it can open food cans with its claws so Mommy and Daddy won't have to do that anymore. It is going to be GREAT!

I thought about calling him Teddy.
I think Teddy is a great name for a coconut crab.

Ruska says it is not true. She said what Mommy and Daddy say is something called sarcasm. She said she watched Mommy look at pictures of coconut crabs and she was so disgusted she didn't want to touch her phone's screen to scroll down. Ruska says Mommy is afraid of crabs. Even of the very little ones. And coconut crabs can grow bigger than cats! But I don't believe her.... you know Ruska's stories. She also says she used to be a coconut crab herself in a previous life. So why would I believe her?

Look, here is a picture of how Teddy will look like when he is all grown up!
That's a coconut under him. That's how big he will be!

Byyyyeee!
-Phoebe

Phoebe and the seasonal peeing!

*hits machine with paw*
This... doesn't... wo- oh, see now it works!
I am afraid we need to move our blog soon, because this page refuses to work properly.

Oh...

Hello hoomans!

Yes, indeed, it is me: Ruska! Of course you all remember me, you're my biggest fans after all and Phoebe is just my boring sidekick, right? Nah, I was just kidding of course. Or was I? He... hehe... he.

Anymeow... Phoebe can't write anything at the moment because she is in mourning.
Of course once again she caused her sorrow herself.
You see, Phoebe started the peeing again some weeks ago. Not quite as frequently as before, but still. Nobody really knows why she does that... still. Mommy said that most humans think cats pee places (other than the litter box) when they are sick or sad. Like sad about the home they live in or something. Already last year Mommy and Daddy took Phoebe to the nice lady to have her and her pee checked, but all was fine. So I assumed she must be sad and sat her down for a cat-to-cat talk. After all, you might not know it, I was a cat psychologist once.
Phoebe said she wasn't sad at all. In fact, she insists she is very happy. She likes her food, even though I eat most of it, she likes Mommy and Daddy and her toys and her cuddlybed. The only thing, she said, that could be better is that Mommy and Daddy should get 20 more cats and 5 dogs for her to play with. I hereby announce that I strongly, I repeat: STRONGLY, disagree with that.
Anymeow... Phoebe said that during the last months she just didn't feel like peeing anymore. Now she does again. Severe case of seasonal peeing, I diagnose. ... OF COURSE THAT'S A THING! I got a proof right here! Phoebe!

The seasonal peeing has gotten Phoebe into her current misery.
Phoebe's favourite place is on the kitchen windowsill. Especially in the evenings when the sun shines there. Mommy has put some comfy blankets there, so Phoebe doesn't need to sleep on the cold stone sill. Occasionally, Phoebe throws the blanket down. Accidentally. As happened last night. So earlier she was sneaking around it and whining for Mommy to lift it back up on the sill. Mommy did - and started to curse and threw the blankets on the laundry pile. It appears Phoebe had peed over them. Now Phoebe is very very sad because she has no comfy blankets in the kitchen anymore. This happened before quite many times with cuddlybed and toys and other things. Phoebe just never learns.

Phoebe has been rather weird lately anyways. She suddenly became quite the cuddle cat. I am sure she just does it to toady up to Mommy and Daddy and have them love her more than me. I am still the cuter and more authentic cuddle cat, though.
But it seems to work on Mommy to some extend. She is always exceptionally delighted when Phoebe comes to cuddle her.

Now I need to go and check if Mommy has filled up the food bowls. I'm staaaarving.

Take care, fans!

-Ruska

Here is Phoebe cuddling Mommy...

 ...BUT I'M MUCH CUTER! SEE?

Happy Mother's Day!

Hello humans,

lately we have been rather busy watching the sport with the ice.
You know, I have mentioned it before. The stuff is called ice hockey and we are big fans.

Ruska actually keeps telling how she used to be a big ice hockey star herself.
She had four tiny little ice skates and on one of the front skates there was the ice hockey stick and then she was playing and winning all the games, cause the other players were all humans and Ruska could skate through their legs and nobody saw or could stop her.
I am not entirely sure if I should believe her. She tends to tell those kinda stories.

Anyways, today is Mother's Day!
That is special.
I don't really remember my real cat mother.
And I have never been a Mommy myself.
Ruska is a Mommy, but I doubt she can remember her babies very much, She does not like to admit it, but every time I ask her to tell me about them she has some excuse.

But luckily we both have our human Mommy!
We made this picture for her (and for all other cat Mommys out there. Note: The poem is NOT written by us!!!)

Bye humans!

-Phoebe

Hyvää Vappua!

Happy Meow Day Eve, hoomans!

Meow Day and Meow Day Eve are a big thing in Finland.
Hoomans get drunk.
Cats play and sleep and eat.
Yes, I know, we do that always, but it's way more festive on Meow Day Eve.

Anyways... as we are not in Finland, Mommy and Daddy don't get drunk.
They neither wear their fancy hats and clothes, that they usually wear on Meow Day Eve.

It is sad, because I think it will be much less fun than usually. Even though Ruska said we already spent last May Day Eve in Germany. Apparently, according to her, I have only experienced one May Day Eve in Finland, so less than here. I am not sure if that is true. I can't remember. So many exciiiiting things happened in between, who could be bothered to think about the past?

Also, tomorrow fun times are starting again!!!
There is again the show with the hooman men from different countries competing against each others. But not the same way as last summer where they ran over grass with a ball. They slide over ice with something that is not a ball. And they beat each other a lot. It looks like when Ruska and me are playing.It comes every year and I am a big fan.
This year for the first time I have a real jersey of the Finnish team!
Mommy says it is her jersey, but I don't think so.
It is probably actually mine.
I am going to wear it the whole next month.


I will keep you up to date!

Greetings from Ruska by the way.
She is stuck on Instagram.

Here is a picture of me from my first and only Meow Day (Vappu) in Finland!
I am wearing Mommy's fancy Meow Day hat!

Ruska of Shame and Instagram!!

Hoomans!

What happened?
I was very convinced we would write in here every day. Or every second. Or maybe once a week. Okay, once every two weeks.
Anyways, it has again been over a month!

But to our excuse - things happened!

You might remember Ruska's last post about the riots in Frankfurt.
Well, it turned out, obviously, those weren't about her.
It had something to do with the big building close to our home that takes the sun away from the window. I can understand the riots, it really sucks to lie in the shadow.

Then shortly after the riots Mommy and Daddy left us again and their friend came to take care of us. It appears Mommy and Daddy went to a place called Ireland. I don't know if that exists. Maybe they went to Finland and made this "Ireland" up, so we would not get jealous. Who knows?

But on a more important notice, also the reason why Ruska will probably never write anything in here ever again - we got ourselves a fancy Instagram account! Mommy is not all too happy about it, because Ruska spends day and night on Instagram looking at other cats and posting photos and placing hashtags all over the place. Mommy can't even use her own Instagram anymore, because Ruska refuses to log out for even a second. It's madness! I admit, I also post something sometimes.
But it is not that much fun, because Ruska -again- gets more likes than me all the time.
What is it with hoomans loving calico cats? I am even cuter. Why does nobody notice?
I guess I really should get that fur dyeing done. I was thinking about maybe pink with green dots. That might be special enough to get attention.
I told Mommy about it. She disapproves.
Really don't understand why, she is dyeing her fur as well, why can't I?
Mommy also cut her fur.
After she wakes up she always looks a bit like a Maine Coon cat with that fur standing to all sides from her head. It's amusing.

Anyways, if you have Instagram you should follow us and like all our pictures!
Our Instagram name is - who would have guessed - terrorteam.ruby

Here is a Instagram photo of me!
#cutestcatintheworld

Breaking News: Ruska-Fans are rioting in Frankfurt!!!

Humans!

I am honored!
Like, really, that would not have been necessary!
If you haven't heard yet (of course you have, stop it, you! *giggles*) - the whole city is freaking out. There have been many policemen blocking the end of our streets for several days already. Now they are also blocking the other end and they don't let anyone in who does not live here. Mommy keeps looking out of the window and many neighbors do the same... or they are on the balcony.

Phoebe and me are also looking, we can't just look as much as Mommy. She always leans out to see more (grandma says that is dangerous, but Mommy won't listen to me!). We have been trying to figure out what on earth is going on out there. Phoebe says it has to do with the huuuge glas tower next to our home. There is money in it and people do not want money to be in it. She said she saw it on the news.

I almost believed her for a second there, but now I found out what is really going on.
MY FANS ARE IN TOWN! They put me under police protection!
My fans even burn police cars, so they can get through to me.
Really, my dearests, you do not have to do that! I am happy to give autographs to ALL of you of course, just line up in front of the house, I'll be down in a second.

How I know that it must be about me? Well, Mommy was looking again this morning after Daddy left for work and sent some pictures of burning things.
She shook her head and said "crazy world". Then she giggled a bit and said to me and Phoebe that we can feel a bit like celebrities now, since the police is protecting out street.
Then I tried to lean out of the window a little, when Mommy was looking outside. But she pulled me back and said "You don't want to fall out there. Especially not today."
Not today... see? It is because of my fans! Mommy is worried they will trample me to death. Or that the fame will make me use drugs and everything.

Sorry, I gotta go, I really need to wave to my fans from the window when they pass by the police blockages.

Love, Ruska

Here is the police blocking our street!

This is how it looks from our window!

 
Daddy took this one on the way to work.
He could not use the local train station, since it is burning.
You see more burning here.

Please, dear fans, stop that madness,
there is enough Ruska for all of you!!

Mommy was gone, Daddy was here and Ruska is stupid...

Hello humans!

I finally get to write here again.
There wasn't many opportunities to do that before. Mommy was gone and then Ruska was sitting here and looking at how people love her. Agrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

But from the start: last week before the weekend Mommy left to work as always, but she took a huge bag with her.... and then she didn't come back from work as usually. Instead one of Daddy's friends moved in the next day. I was very scared that Mommy might not come back. I mean, she told me some cats have two Daddys and that's normal and okay. But I still prefer having a Mommy and a Daddy.
Luckily it turned out that Mommy wasn't gone forever. One day after he moved in, Daddy's friend moved out again and another day later Mommy came back! Turns out she was on a work trip with some colleaguefriends of hers. I know work trips, Daddy has been on some. I thought only Daddy's could go on work trips, but Ruska screamed something about gender equality, which I didn't get and... anyways, Mommy was back! The morning after she was back I had to jump into her bed to make sure she was still there. She was.

Then also Daddy was here.... more here than usually.
Usually Daddy is gone during the day. Like Mommy. That's what humans do. It is when they are at work. Ruska says it is our free time then. Because being here and being cute and being cat and being cuddly and fuzzy and warm and purry and funny and fluffy and adorable - that is our job. Which we get paid for in food. That is what Ruska says. So when Daddy was home and not at the work, because he was coughing a lot, Ruska was very annoyed, because she said we have to work over hours now and nobody is gonna pay us that. Oh well...
I don't really buy that "job" thing anyways... I mean, basically we are just playing and sleeping and eating all day. Well, Ruska is. I am just playing and sleeping. So I don't care if Daddy is home during that time or not.

But Ruska is stupid anyways. On Saturday morning she teased me with how much cuter she was than me and how much more people liked her and she would show me. Then she jumped onto the bed and rolled around on Mommy's belly and then she turned on her back and looked at Mommy with huge eyes and Mommy giggled and took a photo. Then Mommy put the photo onto the Facebook and a bunch of people started liking it. Ruska then spent almost one full day at the machine here to look at the Facebook and count the likes she got for her picture.
And every now and then she looked at me and smirked very meanly.

It is just not fair. I am actually much cuter than Ruska.
I just need to do something about that fur of mine. It is way too black.
It is so black that when I try to look cute in a picture you usually do not see my eyes and then I look like a black blob and not cute.
Unfaiiiiir.

Here is Ruska pretending to be ohsocute.
She really is not actually that cute.
It's all Instagram filters.
There I said it.
HAH!

-Phöps

The story of how I almost became a model...

Hello humans!

What? Strike? Whaaaat? Nooo... I was just busy.
I would never let you down, my friends.

Phoebe says I just write here now because she said something about getting famous. That is of course not true. Do not listen to her.
I was busy. Yes.
What? Oh... what I was busy with? Erm... er... cat...things. You know.
Don't ask stupid questions.

Anywho.. Mommy started watching a new show. On TV. There are many young, pretty female humans and one old pretty female human and two old male humans and the old humans tell the young female humans if they are pretty enough. Because they all want to be models.
I almost became a model once.
When I was young and slimmer... I mean... less fluffy. Many cat-model-agents asked me to work for them. Uncountable amounts actually. I mean, look at me, I just got the face. And everything.
They told me I would have fame and glory. The CATwalks (really, why do you think they call them that?) of New York, Paris, Milan. All open for me. Literally, I would have probably become the most famous catmodel in the world.
But they also told me I could not have beefsteak ever again if I wanted to be a model.
And I just have my values in life.
Beefsteak is one of them.
So that is how I did not become a model after all.

But that does not matter, I am still one of the prettiest cat around.
Also, Phoebe keeps making sure that her cute, petite being does not make Mommy like her more than me. She simply always stands in her own way of being Mommy's favorite cat.
Like the thing with the closet...
Phoebe can open the closet. I don't know how she does it. I tried it once. Those damn doors don't move an inch.
Anyways, Phoebe can. And whenever Mommy does not look she will open it.
Lately, she also enjoys going into it. But only when Mommy and Daddy aren't home.
Today she was in there again. She was very eager and busy. Rumbling around and making a lot of disturbing noise. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was doing Mommy a favor.
See, she knows how Mommy loves her closet to be neat and tidy, everything in pretty stacks.
So Phoebe started to rearrange things to make Mommy happy. She literally shoved whole stacks of clothes onto other shelves, because she found them more handy there.
Mommy came home and was not amused at all. She cursed a bit and started to put all the stacks back to where they used to be. Also back to stacks, cause Phoebe broke some of them.
Then she gave Phoebe a speech how she was very well capable of sorting her closet on her own and if she needed help, she'd inform Phoebe, but for now she was good.
Phoebe was very confused and heartbroken,
She will never learn.

Also, rearranging closets is dangerous. Last week, Phoebe was so busy rearranging the closet when Mommy got home, that she did not notice when Mommy closed the door. And she did not notice she was stuck for another half hour.
She had managed to rearrange quite a lot by the time she got out and Mommy was not at all happy about the help.

Oh well...

So long, humans!

Yours,
Ruska

Half a year in one blog post!

Hello humans!

It's me. Phoebe.
Do you remember me?
I'm the cute black cat that you all like much more than Ruska.
No, I am not trying to manipulate you. You actually like me more.
You just forgot that, since we didn't write in a while.
*swings pendulum* You get very tired. You. Like. Me. More.Than. ...
Oh, whatevvs.

So, yeah, it looks like it has been a while.
That is not because we are lazy, no. There actually is an important reason for that.
Sometime last August Ruska read about something called a "strike".
A strike is when people - wait, have we told you about that?
You know it's been so long, I am not sure what we wrote about and what not.
Anyways, a strike is when people stop doing the work they are supposed to do and just don't do anything and as a result they get more salary than before.
I don't think that makes much sense. I think if you don't do you work you should get even less.

Anyways, Ruska heard about that thing and you know, we all know Ruska.
Of course she saw our chance of getting much more and much yummier food.
I actually did not care so much about it.
You see, I would get enough food if it wasn't for Ruska eating my food away.
But I decided to go with it, since Ruska can get very mean if I do not do what she says.

Until today.
Mommy found the picture I made last Valentine's day. Of me with hearts in the eyes, saying Will you be my Felinetine. And then she said maybe we will write something.... "päivän kunniaksi" as you say in Finnish. I don't know what it is in English. In German it's "zur Feier des Tages".... so... "to celebrate the day"... see, I do not even know English anymore. It's because I don't write here and I only hear Mommy and Daddy speak Finnish and Mommy speak German and Daddy speak Finnish.

So anyways, Daddy said we should write here again. Because we write very cutely and more and more people would read it and we could become famous. Like Grumpy cat!
Ruska should be impressed by that, she loves Grumpy cat. For reasons.


So, lets start with the recap.

August: birthday month.
Last time I was here I wrote about my birthday coming up.
Can you believe we are already half way until my birthday comes up again?
Then I will be 3 years old.

Anyways, I told you about the awesome fancy present I was waiting to get, remember.
I did!
Look at it:

September: aunt Jessie month.

In September Mommy and Daddy decided to go to Finland. They were excited about it because by then it had been a while since we moved here from Finland and had seen Finland.
I got very excited as well and Ruska started to panic. However, turned out we didn't actually even get to go to Finland. Mommy and Daddy went all by themselves.

They did not want us to starve, though, so they asked aunt Jessie to come and give us food and she did. She knows how to give food to cats, since she has cats herself. Three boycats. Ruska would like to meet them. Maybe she is finally over Jekku. I think boys are gross.


October: Mommy is less annoyed month.
Since October Mommy is less annoyed. She is also not home anymore all day. She has the thing called work. She seems to like her work. More than her old work. Ruska is less annoyed as well, since she has more free time now. She uses it to sleep.

November: the "I needed to check Daddy's Facebook cause I forgot" month.
So I really did not remember what happened in November, (OH LOOK THAT RHYMES!) I checked Daddy's Facebook. Turns out, strike happened. For example. Once again. How fitting. Daddy was very annoyed about it. It took him longer to get to work for example. Mommy was only annoyed on the weekends, since she always walks or takes the bike to work. So she does not care so much about strikes. Just that she was almost hit by cars when on the bike, cause there are much more cars on the road when people strike. Also... they approved same sex marriage in Finland in November. I don't know why that is a big deal. I don't understand why some people would think they can forbid others to get married in the first place. Anyways, apparently it is awesome!


December: tree month.
There were many trees in December! First of all grandma and spare grandpa came to visit us with huuuge boxes. Mommy and Daddy started to take down our climby scratch thing. It turned out there was a new climby scratch tree thing in the boxes we got from grandma and spare grandpa. And it was many timer bigger than out old one. Daddy built an improvised on in the bedroom from parts of our old climby scratch thingies.

Our new huge climby scratch thing in the sofa room



The newoldimprovised one

But December was not only about cat trees. There also was a thing called Christmas tree. Mommy and Daddy carried a tree into our flat. A real one. A real tree. Then they started to put lights and lots of toys on it. But we were not allowed to play with the toys. We kept to that rule mostly. We just threw some of the funny balls off the tree, but not much more. We thought we could keep the tree forever, but we couldn't. One day Mommy and Daddy took all the toys off and carried the tree out of the flat. Before that, they let me climb in it a little, but it was not so much fun as I thought.

It's me in the real tree

January: many people month.
Mommy's birthday was in January. It is every year in January. What an amusing coincidence. This year she invited some people. One people even came flown from Finland. It was one of the girls that once fed us in Tampere. Mommy did not know she was coming. She was very confused. I was also confused. Because now there were Mommy and Daddy and that friend of Mommy and Daddy and grandma and spare grandpa. But in the evening there were even much more people. It was friends of Mommy and Daddy and they know them all from their works.

It was almost a bit too scary for me. And it scared me that it was scary for me, because nothing is scary for me. Ruska played all brave and ran around and said Hi to everyone and asked them if they wanted more drinks and snacks and played the perfect host. But nobody understood her. Everyone found her adorable though. Pffffffffffffffffffff.

February: pineapple month.
Well now there is quite a bit of February left, but I will tell you the most amazing thing - we got a plant. Mommy said it's Daddy's plant, but really, it MUST be ours.
There was a pineapple on it and Mommy said it's a pineapple plant. Unfortunately the pineapple plant fell off the table in the first night for some weird reason that I have definitely nothing to do with and the little pineapple fell off. We also ate the leaves a little.
Mommy checked that they aren't poisonous. She mumbled something about wishing hey were. I didn't understand that.

It's me and the plant when the little pineapple was still in place

So that was a lot of new info!
Lets see when Ruska will break her strike.

Bye humans!!!

-Phoebe

Full-loafing, half-loafing and Ruska's alter ego...

Hello humans!

Lately Ruska talks a lot about cat school.
She went to cat school before she came to live with us. Also before she was pregnant and a Mommy. I don't believe cat school exists and neither does Mommy, but Ruska insists.
She says all outdoor cats that don't have human parents go to cat school. And later on they can teach it to little cats that were luckier in life and had human parents from birth on.

Ruska's favorite subject in cat school was loafing.
She is very good at loafing, I have to say. I envy her a bit.
She taught me how to do a full-loaf. You need to tuck all legs and paws neatly under your belly. Then you wrap your tail around your side, very closely. Then you look like a loaf.
I can only do a full-loaf. Ruska can also do half-loafs. Half-loafs are divided into front-loafs, back-loafs and side-loafs. Side-loafs are divided into right-side-loafs and left-side-loafs.
Theoretically they are easy. You tuck only two legs under your belly. Either both front paws, or both back paws, or both left paws or both right paws.
Ruska can do all the loafs very well. Front loafing is her specialty.

Ruska also has an alter ego.
We found out about that just lately.
Her alter ego is called Seppo and he is the opposite of her. He's very athletic, does not like beefsteak and is a big fan of the vacuum cleaner.
Ruska doesn't like him.
I told Mommy and Daddy that it was Seppo who peed on the floor, not me.
It is also probably Seppo who scratches the wallpaper of the walls and plays with his own poop all over the place. That's not us, no.
Mommy didn't believe me.
Bummer.

It's my birthday soon, by the way.
On Saturday.
You have to buy me presents. I'm turning 2.
Mommy said she found a present which is double-ridiculous. Ridiculous AND ridiculous expensive.
She isn't sure if I can have it yet.
I hope I can.

Byeee!
-Phoebe

p.s. This is me trying a 3/4-loaf. Ruska says it's not a thing. Seppo is impressed.

#Phoebe #cat #black #1/4bengal #hipstercat #meow
#cute #pretty #fun #Monday #catporn #catsofinstagram #instacats #kissa
#katze #pet #fur #sexygirl #cuddly #instapets #petporn

Mommy took it with her Instagram. I don't know what it is. But I know it's a place with many hashtags.
Mommy says petporn sounds wrong and that I am not a sexy girl. Cause I am a cat. That is true, but I saw on Instagram that people lie. They put many wrong hashtags only so more people will click the picture and like it. For example they might post a picture of a tractor and write "#cutebaby". Yes.

The one where Phoebe almost died

Phoebe almost died today. It is true. I am not making this up.

The day started like any day. I wanted some breakfast and I needed to bite Mommy's foot a bit cause I hoped to get it faster. That never works. All I might get is a soft kick in my rear.
Phoebe was sleeping on Mommy's belly in the morning. She never does that. When I asked her why she would do that she said that she heard a song called "If tomorrow never comes." that says that you should show your loved ones that you loved them before it's too late.
Who would have known it was so close to the ultimate disaster? This day I mean?

Mommy and Daddy had bought lots of food for us and then they made food and I got some ham from Daddy when Mommy didn't look, even though it's very bad and everything seemed normal.
Mommy and Daddy watched a movie.
Then Mommy went to call grandpa.
This is when it happened.
Daddy, Phoebe and me were in the sofaroom. Phoebe was playing with a bug, but suddenly she ran away from it and said "ouchie ouchie". She never did that before. It's weird.
Daddy looked at her and at the window and at her and then he grabbed her and screamed to Mommy to get tweezers cause Phoebe was stung by a bee.
WHAT IS A BEE? IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE!!!!!!

Mommy put the phone with grandpa in it aside and helped holding Phoebe down. After she explained to grandpa what had just happened and after Daddy screamed at her to effing help her already.
Phoebe was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if it was because of the bee-thing or because she was held. She really doesn't like being held.

Then they let her go when they had managed to pull the stingiethingie out of Phoebe's paw. They said it has poison. OH GOOOOD.

Daddy went back to the sofaroom. Mommy kept talking to grandpa.
Phoebe was sittin in the hallway and was shaking and mumbling things and looked very frightened.
It's the worst thing if you're the older cat. So helpless. I didn't know what to do. How could I have made things better? I carefully licked her fur a little.
Mommy laughed at it. IT WASN'T FUNNY. I thought Phoebe might die.
Mommy googled if Phoebe could die.
She found out that Phoebe could only die if she was very allergic to the sting of the bee, which, as we found out, actually was the sting of a wasp. Mommy and Daddy mixed it up, cause bees lose their stingiethingie after they stung. And the stingiethingie was in Phoebe's paw so it must have been a bee. But it wasn't.
Anymeow - I went to avenge Phoebe when I found out the wasp was still up and running. Daddy tried to catch it in the living room. Daddy screamed and shooed me away when I came to help. Twice.
Pffff.

Phoebe didn't die after all.
Her front right paw is much bigger than before. Even bigger than mine.
It looks funny. She says it itches much but doesn't hurt. She's playing and eating as if nothing had happened.

This is Phoebe's paw 20 minutes after the sting.

4 hours later it is even bigger.
Mommy can't stop laughing.
How mean.
(It really is funny actually.)

-Ruska

Why does nobody love me?

Hello humans!!

It has been almost two weeks again since we posted here. Ruska says it was actually yesterday and the blog was just counting all wrong. Mommy said it had really been two weeks. That is rather shocking. Time goes fast. We have the same problem as after we moved - Mommy keeps looking for works and that's why she needs to be on this machine all the time.
That means we can't write anything.
When Mommy is at work, we don't really know how to get the machine started.

I want some work as well. Mostly cause I wanna have a holiday, just like Daddy.
If you don't work, you can't have a holiday. That is very sad. Holidays seem to be an awesome thing.

Daddy keeps getting visitors as it seems.
Mommy only gets her Mommy, our grandma.
Tomorrow Mommy has a holiday, too, and she will meet grandma.
I like grandma, but grandma doesn't like me. She likes Ruska much more. Everyone likes Ruska much more.
That's not fair. Ruska is chubby and weird and paranoid.
I am slim and athletic and fun and cute. Why does not anyone like me?
When I was still a tiny little cat everyone made "awww" when they saw me.
Now nobody does that anymore.
I think it is probably because Ruska has many colors. Not many cats have many colors.
But many cats are black. I sometimes heard someone say that black cats are boring.
Some even think black cats bring bad luck.
Our brother Mikko is black as well. Nobody dislikes him though. Probably cause there isn't a cat with many colors around him to compare.
I heard when someone doesn't like someone else cause of their color, that is called racism and it's bad.
Maybe I should dye myself.
Like a rainbow.
Then I would look more special than Ruska.

Look how much more cute and special than Ruska I was when I was little.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. That means there will be the TV show with the one girl and many boys that want to be in love with the girl.
There used to be the same with many girls and one boy, but it wasn't so much fun.
Mommy, Ruska and me are always watching it and decide which of the boys we would want to be in love with, if we were that girl in the show.
Ruska votes for Aurelio. Mommy really doesn't like him. Me neither. Mommy says he's fake and his arrogance annoys her. I agree. Ruska loves how calm and slow he does everything he does. Typical for her. She also likes the doctor, but he is sometimes too excited.
I vote for Manuel. Mommy really doesn't like him. Ruska even less. He is always all over the place and Ruska says he would probably give her a heart attack.
Mommy can't decide who she'd want. Either Marvin or Tommy. But probably she will stay with Daddy, I guess.

Lat but not least: some pictures.

Ruska being cute.

Me being artsy.

Ruska doing yoga.

Byeeee humans!

-Phoebe

He's just not that into you!

Hello humans!

I have to write here, cause Ruska is busy. Busy writing a postcard to be exact. A postcard to Jekku.
It all started with her finding out that Jekku's girlfriend is actually a boyfriend. Or rather boy friend. Guy friend. You know where I am getting.
Even though I told her they might be gay, too.
Gay is when a boycat likes a boycat or a girlcat likes a girlcat.
I know that. Mommy taught me. It involves rainbows, too, but I didn't quite get that part.

Ruska said that's nonsense.
She saw the signs, she says.
Well, I'd guess the signs might have been a bit blurry with all them hearts flying out of her eyes you know?

Anyways, she decided to write to Jekku now.
I doubt he remembers her name.

The problem is... we mastered the typing with our pawsies, you just have to be careful to hit the right key. But you can always correct it if you by accident his many at once.
Real writing is not that easy. It started with Ruska not being able to hold the pen. She tried it with one paw, with two paws, with her mouth and her tail, but the pen just won't stay the way it needs to stay for color to come out of it.
Probably it's better that way, cause even if Ruska could write the postcard, she couldn't send it, as she does not know Jekku's address.
She is convinced that it's enough if she addresses it to "Jekku" and throws it out of the window.
I told her it doesn't work like that, but she said I'm just a silly little kitten that knows nuthin.
And then people think that I am the immature one of us. *sigh*

Just so you know if Ruska never writes anything to the blog ever again - she'll be busy trying to master the pen-writing.

So long, hoomans!

-Pheebs

Heat and prisons and friends!

Hello?
HELLO?
Humans?
Do you copy?
HUMANS?
DO YOU... does this work?
DO YOU COPY?
DO. YO- what was that, Phoebe?
Oh. Oh, okay. We are free. Okay. So you do copy.

Hello humans!

Please excuse the confusion, but we were just imprisoned.
You must understand my anxiety.

We were imprisoned, yes, yes indeed, by - and now wait for it - none other than our very own Mommy.
YES! It's unbelievable, isn't it?
She gave us many treats and we were very happy and then we were suddenly in the litterboxroom and the door was closed and we were inside and couldn't get out. We could only hear Mommy saying something about being "so very sorry" and then screaming for "airairair" and then we could hear her opening the windows. All the windows. They rarely open all the windows, because Mommy is worried that we might jump out of all the windows. When they are open.
I put my paw through the tiny space under the door. There was a lot of wind and I could hear Mommy running around.
Phoebe was lying down on the little carpet. The one she usually pees on. She said there was no sense in trying to get out and probably Mommy just wanted some bit of air and then we would get out again.
HOW COULD SHE EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT....??? I mean.... okay, she was right. But still... how could we have known? It seemed like the certain death.
But Phoebe was right and we got out and Mommy poured many more treats on the floor and laughed nervously and said something about "no reason to be offended" and "best Mommy ever, right?" Phoebe agreed. I asked her if she really forgave Mommy just that easily.
But Phoebe had already forgotten what Mommy had done to us and happily ate her treats.
Nobody is sane in here.

Things are weird, too, cause Daddy is at home.
Usually, Daddy is not at home.
Mommy used to be at home. During the day I mean. That was when she needed the work. I hope Daddy still has work now and does not need some again. Daddy calls it holiday.
The funny thing is... he isn't actually home. He is home, but then he isn't.
There are many friends of Daddy here lately. I asked Mommy if she didn't have any friends, cause there was only that one friend and then Mommy's cousin. She told me to shut it or I'd never get beefsteak again.
Unfaaaaair.
Then Mommy said that our friends neither ever visited us. That is actually true.
Well, granny died, unfortunately, so she can't come. But Jekku didn't show since we moved. Neither did Casey. Not even Mikko, our brother, even though he lives so close now!
Mommy said it takes manymuch time and money to visit, so people can't do that just that easily.
And that she hasn't visited anyone and neither did we and we couldn't blame noone.
Maybe I should write Jekku and Casey a postcard. Well, maybe not Casey, he didn't like me. Phoebe can write to him. I should write to Jekku, I heard rumors there is a new girl in his life. That's how fast he forgot about me. I'm heartbroken.
I will only date beefsteak from now on. Until I die.

Last but not least, here is a picture of me on the new blanket that Mommy got from a friend.

Pretty, huh?

Byeee humans!
-Ruska

Pizza Day!

It's pizza day.
Daddy and Mommy decided to order pizza today.
Ruska said that she wanted some too. She wanted some with beefsteak on top and the bottom also made of beefsteak. I said I wanted the same, but she said I could not have the same, because it was her idea. That's mean. Then Daddy suggested tuna pizza. I said I wanted that, but Ruska said I couldn't have it, cause it was Daddy's idea. Then I said I want a four season cat pizza. That is a pizza with crust made from dry cat food and then you spread cat pudding on it and then you put tuna, salmon, shrimps and cooked chicken meat there. And cheese on top. Ruska turned red and purple and green and then said she wanted that, too.
THAT'S NOT FAIR! It was MY idea!
But I am not sure if there will be any pizza for anyone, cause Daddy is driving a car in the machine and is talking to himself, I think. At least I don't hear anyone else talk. First I thought he talked to me, but he said things like "Lets go shoot him." and I don't even have a gun. Hmh.
Mommy keeps saying pizza is bad and will make us all even fatter than we are.
That's not fair, only Ruska is fat, so only Ruska should not get pizza.
Maybe I should pee somewhere, maybe they would order pizza then?

I also tried to dye my fur. I wanted to leave my head and back and tip of my tail black and then dye one red stripe starting from my chest going all the way around my sides and my butt and back to the front to my chest and then dye my legs and my belly yellow.
I would look like the flags on the cars and everywhere. I would be a walking blackredyellow and everyone would love me here. I guess.
It appears everyone here loves everything blackredyellow.
Mommy says that shit will go down tonight.
Blackredyellow will play against bluewhitebluewithsomeyellow.
And if blackredyellow wins, we won't be able to sleep all night, cause humans have no brains. Or something similar.
If they don't win, the country will be blown up and we all die.
I guess.

Oh well.

I want that pizza now.

-Phoebe

Here's me and Ruska being cute.

I don't like trees.

Hello humans!

Still not much beefsteak in sight. We got some pudding though. That's something, right?
I mean, it's real pudding only for cats. Humans can't eat it. Cats can. Mommy says that it is really extremely super unhealthy, but once in a while we should be allowed to eat a little bit of unhealthy.
I wonder if beefsteak is unhealthy?
I mean, it must be, because we get it so rarely. Then again, Mommy once said that beefsteak is very good for cats. That does not make any sense at all!

More news: the horrible car is gone! JACKPOT!
I totally got around sitting in it even. That's good.
Phoebe is sad about the car being gone.... she is worried she might not be able to ever go to the grim reeper again. What's the heck is wrong with that little lunatic?
Why would she even....?
Oh, nevermind.

Also.... the ballthing is still going on much.
It appears the blackredyellow ones that everyone who lives here has to find awesome are doing pretty well. I heard people say that they will be the master of the world. Or something like that.
Anyways, I think that's something special. Not everyone can be master of the world. What a title. If there was a master of the cat world, that would be me.

Mommy's arm looks funny, too. She sticks gluey things onto it and say they will heal it. Or something. She can't really move it cause she fell off a tree. Or something.
Now she is looking over my shoulder and tells me I am not supposed to write that she fell off a tree, because that is how rumors are started according to her.
Well, she did say something with trees and falling, so that must be it. What more options can there be?
Anyways, I never liked trees. When I was still and outside cat I made a hhhuuuge circle around them. Some of my friends climbed at them. One got stuck once. Humans had to come with portable stairs and help him down. Ahhh, good old times!
But trees, really, no thanks!

Mommy also got herself some new fur.
You know how humans feel the need to continuously change their fur. In the morning, in the evening, depending on the weather or what they plan on doing.... so complicated.
But I like the new fur Mommy bought today. It's evening fur. The back legs have cats on the knees and on the belly there is a Polaroid photo of three cats with some hashtags under them. So basically, the fur looks much like me and our blog. Mommy said it reminded her of me, so she bought it. That's so cute.

Goodbye, humans!

Beefsteak? Beefsteak!

Beefsteak?
BEEFSTEAK!

I love beefsteak!
Daddy bought us some beefsteak. He promised that some days ago and he did indeed. But of course there was a snag to it - we could have it for ourselves. He ate the biggest part. When I complained he told me that compared to our bodysize I ate a much bigger amount than him. Humans never understand! Humans are omnivores, you know? That means they eat everything. Cats are carnivores. That means we eat meat.
So logically, as humans eat everything, they need to eat a bit less of everything. We eat only meat, so there needs to be a big amount. That's obvious, isn't it?

Luckily we got other food than beefsteak, too. Just in case. There can't be enough food.
Apparently in our petfoodstore of trust there was a discount on out catfood of trust. Also, Daddy has to give away the very dangerous car soon. Which is good, cause cars are very dangerous. But it's also bad, cause without a car they can't bring as much catfood at once.
Today they did bring as much as fitted in the car...probably. It was a castle of food! Literally.

Told you. A castle.

Daddy and Mommy bought new ringelingthings, too.
Daddy's is a whole new one, like very different from the old one. Mommy's is a bit similar to the old one.

Phoebe and me tried to talk them into buying us ringelingthings as well. I heard people need ringelingthings in case of emergencies. So if they die or have some other emergencies, they can ringeling to someone and be rescued. I need that.
Mommy said, if I had a ringelingthing for emergencies, I'd call her every 2 minutes soon as the foodbowl is empty. Well, duh! That's the definition isn't it? "For emergencies." Humans are weird indeed.

Here is Mommy's ringelingthing.

Daddy can take pretty pictures with his ringelingthing! He can chose that only some colors show in the picture and some don't. He took a picture of me and I need to say, I find myself exceptionally eye-pleasing in this one.

Look at me:

Did you look?
Ain't i gorgeous?
#calicoisthenewblack

So long, hoomans!

-Ruska

Am I nuts?

Mommy thinks I'm nuts.
It's official.

But I am very normal, really. It's just.... I needed to have a look at the paper that Mommy brought home from work. There were lots of foods listed in the paper and Mommy said she looks at it to decide what foods to eat at work during the week. Turns out, as Mommy got so weird to not eat meat anymore, there aren't that many choices. There's just one food without meat every day. So Mommy didn't really decide what to eat. She rather just looked at what she had to eat and was excited about it. The foods are good at her work, she says. So I wanted to taste and I started licking the paper.
The paper didn't taste like much. More like paper. But I like the taste of paper so I felt the need to squeak after every lick. Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick* Ääk. *lick*
Mommy found that hopelessly amusing.
Then she said I am probably nuts.
I am not.

Because I didn't wanna be nuts, I went to the corner and started eating some wallpaper.
Mommy didn't find that quite as amusing.
In fact, she screamed at me. Can't humans ever decide what they want?
She also pointed at her eyes with her fingers and then pointed at me.
And she said she was watching me.

This is a bit how she looked like.

-Pheebs